


Water Children

by tuuli



Category: Hikaru no Go
Genre: Community: blind_go, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-30
Updated: 2014-02-27
Packaged: 2017-12-28 01:22:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 51,116
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/985967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tuuli/pseuds/tuuli
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Once, in the Heian times, there lived a strange child, one who never quite belonged to the world of men. There were two things to hold him back - his mother, and go. Even they could not give him a long, happy life... but a thousand years later he would change the life of another boy. Fairytalesque AU<br/>First chapter about Sai's life, the rest Hikaru's. I give up trying to write a good summary for this...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Sai

**Author's Note:**

> This first chapter was my fic for Blind go round 14. It'll be continued, most likely there'll be 3-4 chapters. 
> 
> I kind of felt like Sai's mother deserved a tag of her own in this....
> 
> (I'm still trying to figure out a summary for this. And failing.)
> 
> A name note:  
> kage = shadow, silhouette, phantom  
> maru = suffix that was used for esp. children's names

One spring evening, around the time when the last cherry petals were floating down in the wind and the wisteria were just beginning to bloom, the capital was abuzz with whispering. Rumors spread across the city like fire in dry hay.

"Have you heard of the Minor Counselor's wife?"

"The baby… have you heard of the baby…?"

"It's horrifying! How could she face such misfortune?"

"I hear it's malformed, like a frog…"

"No, no, its skin, its skin is like that of a fish, slippery and scaly…"

"Frightening!"

"How did it happen? Is it a curse, or…"

"I heard…"

"Yes?"

"I heard she went for a _swim_."

" _What?_ "

"When she went on a pilgrimage last summer. The day was hot, they passed a lake, and _she went to swim_."

"That… that is…!"

"I know. Such behavior! What else could follow but misfortune?"

-

As the people gossiped, the Minor Counselor's wife was smiling down at the tiny bundle in her arms. The servants were frightened, silly things, so she had to take care of her child on her own. She didn't mind though, for it was such a beautiful child: clear, pale skin, amethyst eyes, soft dark hair already thick as a finger. The only problem was the thin web-like skin growing between the infant's fingers and toes, like in the foot of a frog… but with such a beautiful child, it was a minor grievance. Surely it would come off as the child grew.

The baby's father wasn't quite as happy when he came to see his new son. The Minor Counselor stared at the sleeping baby and its tiny, tightly closed fists. Even so the web between the fingers was obvious. He turned his glare to the new mother, who lowered her eyes.

"It is unfortunate, of course," she murmured to his unspoken accusation. "But don't you see how beautiful and healthy the boy otherwise is? I think people are making too much out of a little thing…"

"Little thing!" the counselor exclaimed. "The city is full of rumors! Do you have any idea what this does to your reputation – not to mention mine?"

"People make too much out of this," she repeated quietly, still watching her hands. "With time, they will forget. And it _is_ a little thing – as the boy grows, surely those things will come off. With time."

The Minor Counselor leaned back, watching her with an unreadable expression. He posed an extravagant sight that day in his fine robes, as if he had wanted to make sure that at least his appearance wouldn't give any cause for criticism. "How can you know that?" he finally asked. "And even if that is true, this is a bad time for you to cause a scandal attached to my name. How could you be so foolish!"

She stiffened a little. "I have done nothing wrong," she said, annoyed at the defensive tone in her voice. "I was merely walking by the lake when I slipped and fell into the water. You know that! Don't you remember? It perfectly ruined my clothes!"

She shuddered with the memory. The shock of the cold water hitting her and that frightful moment when she had been completely submerged, her clothes heavy in the water, uncertain which was up and which down, until a hand grasped her hair (of all things!) and pulled her to the surface. "I can't even swim," she concluded a little weakly. She looked up at her husband, and for the first time felt anger toward him. "How can you be so cold! This is your child, after all; can't you show at least a little bit of happiness for a new son?"

He looked again at the baby and frowned. "Is it so strange if a man isn't overly pleased when he has eagerly waited for the first song of a thrush, only to hear a frog croaking in the night?"

"Man has to be deaf indeed to mistake a thrush for a frog," she replied coldly. "I am sorry you are so disappointed, my lord. But what has happened can't be made undone. This child is now here, and he is yours, and mine. The days to come will yet prove to you that I am right: he is a fine son for you to have."

"Perhaps." With that the Minor Counselor stood up and without a word of goodbye stepped outside of her curtain, leaving her and the baby alone. She watched a moment after him, sighed, but turned then to her child. Yes, the days to come would prove her right.

The first two years of the child's life passed quite uneventfully. On the day when the Minor Counselor had left, not hiding his displeasure, the servants had been fretting, sure that he would not return and their mistress would face an unhappy fate, abandoned by her husband. To their great surprise he had not cut their ties completely and had even come to see the baby a few times.

The baby had grown up fine, just like any other child. The servants were still wondering about him (carefully when their mistress didn't hear them), about his hands and feet, his strangely colored eyes, his hair that had been abundant already when he was a baby. When the spring came two years after his birth, the hair fell down over the boy's shoulder blades, and they would have cut it, but the mother was against it – she said she wanted to see how long it would grow. So the servants kept on wondering, but with time they calmed down, gradually getting quite fond of the little, always smiling Kagemaru, as the boy was now called. His mother didn't like the name and its implication of something ghostly, but it was what his father had called him, and she decided it might be best not to make an issue out of it.

When the boy was living his third summer something happened that gave her quite a fright. Having found his feet, Kagemaru had turned into quite a lively and quick little boy. One day the girl taking care of him had turned her back only for a moment, or so she said, and suddenly he was gone. They searched everywhere, and finally it was his mother who spotted him in the garden, already wading into the water of the artificial lake, splashing happily as he went. She rushed quickly to him and snatched him away just when he was about to fall into the water, getting a loud wail of protest for her reward.

The girl got quite a scolding, and, teary-eyed, promised to be more careful in the future. After this it took everyone's full attention to keep the boy out of the lake – the moment they looked away, he was heading outside, toddling his way toward the water.

After they had fished him out of the lake for the third time, she wrote a desperate letter to the boy's father.

"I don't know what to do," she wailed. "It is as if there were something in the lake to lure him away – I barely dare to sleep in the night, fearing he slips away in the dark and in the morning we find him drowned. What should I do?"

Instead of a reply, the Minor Counselor sent an onmyouji to examine the boy. The mother waited nervously for the verdict. Finally the onmyouji came to see her, sitting down on the other side of her curtain.

"To tell the truth," the onmyouji started, getting straight to the matter, "I must admit I have never seen a case quite like this before. It is as if your son consisted wholly of pure yin – yang in him is nearly nonexistent. Water is his element, strong in him. You should keep him away from water – I don't know what might happen if he ever would follow its call, and I don't dare to guess."

"So what should we _do_?" she asked, desperately. The onmyouji shook his head at a loss.

"Fire is the opposite of water," he said, "but we can hardly burn him. I will give him a fire pendant – maybe it will help to quell the water in him."

That was all he could say. Little Kagemaru didn't like his new pendant, but it was hung round his neck on a strong string, and he couldn't get rid of it, try as he might. His mother wandered outside and watched sadly the little lake that had always been her favorite part of the garden. Then she called for her servants and told them they would be getting rid of the lake. This aroused some startled protests, but she was adamant. The work took a long time, but in the end where there had once been a shimmering lake and a softly murmuring little brook was now a rather tasteful and extremely dry rock garden.

After this little episode years passed again quietly. Kagemaru left seldom his mother's house. A few times his mother took him to watch processions or competitions, always keeping him in her own carriage away from the gazes of others, carefully avoiding the canals that ran through the city on the way. She couldn't help feeling bad, though, for although he never complained she saw the boy was growing bored always staying within her walls. She would have wanted to send him to his father's at times, just for variation, but she worried how he would fare there, among people who didn't know him. She went on pilgrimages to various nearby temples – never wanting to stay away long – to pray for her son, and once she even took the boy with her. That trip, Kagemaru later declared, was the best thing ever to happen to him, and he asked his mother if he couldn't go with her more often. She was quiet, troubled – not that she wouldn't have wanted to take him with her, but there were few places where they could go that didn't have any waters to pass on the way.

She had been so sure that time would make her son normal, but as days rolled by his strange hands and feet did not change. At least she had been right at one point: he was a fine son to have. He studied diligently, learning to read and write in a beautiful hand, and the poems he composed, though still childish, showed quite much promise. He was a sensitive boy too, at times showing deep awareness of the evanescence of the material world that belied his few years. Especially in winter, when the nights were clear and starry, the boy was often found sitting outside, watching the dark sky in complete silence. "The universe, mother," he would say when she'd go to him. "Can you feel it?" And as she sat next to him under that great starry firmament, she thought she could.

What a great man her son could some day be, if only his hands weren't so strange! The worry grew in her, gnawing her insides, until one day she again wrote to her husband. First she explained in detail the achievements of their little son, now eight years of age, and attached a poem he had recited during one of those starry nights. Then she humbly admitted she had been wrong – the webbing between his fingers wasn't disappearing. They should do something.

An onmyouji arrived again, the same as before, this time accompanied by the boy's father, who by now had risen in his career despite his strange son and had turned from a Minor Counselor to a Middle Counselor. The onmyouji examined Kagemaru's hands and toes. The skin growing between the boy's fingers truly showed no signs of ever going to disappear, white and thin though it was – so thin that light shone through it when he raised his hand toward the sun.

The simplest way, the onmyouji declared, would be just to cut the skin away. The boy flinched, but in the presence of his father refused to show any signs of weakness, and so he followed the onmyouji in silence. His mother waited behind her curtain and couldn't help shedding tears as she heard her son crying in the next room. When the boy came to her, face pale and tear-stroked, all fingers separately bandaged, she opened her arms to him and let him cry against her shoulder.

Two days passed. On the third night the servants came to wake her up. The boy had developed a high fever. He was delirious, talking of strange things no one understood. Frightened, his mother called again for the onmyouji and sent a message also to his father. Now, the onmyouji was the only one to arrive, though the Middle Counselor sent a reply asking them to keep him informed.

Nothing the onmyouji could do seemed to help. A medium was called so that they could exorcise the evil spirit causing the fever, but nothing happened. If anything the fever grew higher. The boy writhed in his bed, moaning softly, great pearls of sweat glistening on his forehead.

"Can't you do anything!" his mother exclaimed behind the screen where she was following the procedure – she wanted nothing more than to tear down that stupid screen and take her son into her arms, but there were strange men present so she had to restrain herself.

The onmyouji gave the boy a troubled look, clearly at his wits end. "I must consult my colleagues," he finally stated. "I will return tomorrow…"

"Tomorrow!" She was wringing her hands. "But what of now? He is in pain _now_! What can we do to ease it?"

"I'm afraid I can't…" the onmyouji started.

"Get off those bandages!" she cut him off, not listening. "That must be what caused this! Let me see his hands!"

"Surely," the onmyouji had time to say before she plunged forward and, coming out of her screen, started to tear away the bandages. Embarrassed, the onmyouji started to turn away, but the sight of the boy's hands caught his eyes and he froze. The fingers were red and swollen, clearly infected. But what was more peculiar was the skin that had started to grow at their edges.

Kagemaru's mother sat a moment in silence staring at the hands. Then she tore off the rest of the bandages. "Can you… can you do something about this?" she said weakly, giving a self-conscious glance at the onmyouji, as if only now realizing what she had done. Her servants had already raised the screen again and she returned behind it, hiding her face behind her fan.

The onmyouji applied ointments on the boy's hands. After two days the swelling was down and the boy was as healthy as before. And the skin between his fingers was unbroken, as if it had never been cut off.

So, the mother concluded sadly, she would simply have to be content with their fate. No matter how perfect her son would be, would people ever see beyond his hands? Would he have to spend all his years hiding from people's eyes?

"It breaks my heart," she complained to the boy's father who had come to see them a few days after the boy had got better. "Would that at least you were to realize what a fine son you have!"

"Perhaps," the Middle Counselor stated, "I _should_ learn to know him better. You say he is completely recovered? Then I shall take him to my mansion as I go. He can spend a few days there – I am not too busy at the moment, so I should be able to spend some time with him."

She worried, what else could she do, but even so she nodded her head. What else _could_ she do.

And so Kagemaru left his mother's house together with his father. She gave them her final warnings and directions – ones she had voiced many a time before and which were beginning to make both father and son equally weary. "Stay away from water. Don't leave him alone in the garden. If he disappears, check first all the places where there is water. Don't…"

"I'm not two years old anymore, mother," the boy finally cut her off, growing impatient. "I'm not going to drown into a small garden lake."

She fell silent. "Well. I hope you enjoy your stay with your father," she finally said, and the two were off.

The Middle Counselor's mansion was much grander and bigger than his wife's, but even so, Kagemaru found himself a little disappointed. Everything was in a bigger scale, yes, but otherwise the place was very similar to his mother's. There was one crucial difference, though: in the garden there was a real lake. Kagemaru found himself surprised at how strong a pull that place had to him. Here he found the pendant with the fire emblem, still hanging on his neck, useful – clutching it helped him to resist the call of the water. Even so, very often he found his steps leading to that place, and he would sit long by the lake's shore, very much wanting to take a dip but not daring to put even a finger in the water, remembering his mother's worries and fears. The servants at the mansion gave him and his hands long, wondering looks, and he could at times hear them whispering behind his back, but everyone treated him politely, if not overly friendly. He was their master's son, after all.

His father had taken him there to get to know him, to spend time with him, but in truth he saw his father but a little. He decided not to let this chance to learn new things to be wasted, though, and with his father's permission he spent a long time in the library, reading this and that, what happened to catch his interest. And so one morning he happened to grasp a book that dealt on a subject he didn't know. Starting to read it he realized it was about a game – a game that at the same time appeared to be extremely simple but still so complicated he wondered if he ever could learn it.

He spent the rest of the morning reading that book. When his father came to look for him, he found the boy sitting on the floor, completely absorbed in the book.

"What are you reading?" the Middle Counselor asked, and it took a moment for his voice to register in Kagemaru's brain.

The boy looked up, and seeing his father stood up quickly, and bowed. "This book," he said, showing it to his father. "Honored father, what… what is this game called? I can't read this sign…"

The Middle Counselor looked surprised. "It's go. How can you not know go?" Then he answered his own question, "Of course, your mother has never been fond of that game. I still wouldn't have thought she would neglect teaching it to you. Would you like to learn?"

"Yes father, please!" the boy exclaimed, face alight.

This was the most important thing Kagemaru took with himself as he returned to his mother's house: love for go. His mother wasn't quite thrilled, for she had never had any skill for the game whatsoever, but still she couldn't help feeling happy as she saw how eager her son was about it. It even seemed that go might get a stronger hold of his heart than water, and she hoped this would be the case. She might not like go, but at least it wasn't something that would place her son in danger.

She said this aloud one day, and Kagemaru smiled at her. "Go is like water, mother. It… it _flows_. It is full of endless possibilities. It's flexible, without a given form, like water, and, like water, it's constantly the same and still constantly changing." He would have gone on, but seeing in his mother's eyes that she was growing troubled again he fell silent. "I do like it better than water, I think," he said then, smiling at her, hoping this would calm her down. It did, a little.

Despite her dislike for the game his mother took out her old go board and started playing with him. It didn't take long before she needed handicap stones against her son. The Middle Counselor, when he visited them and played a game against Kagemaru, was astonished at his growth. "Had you truly not played at all before I started teaching you?" He had new kind of wonder in his eyes as he watched his son, and for the first time in years Kagemaru's mother felt tiniest sense of hope.

As time passed she soon realized what a wonderful gift her boy had found in go, and regretted not having introduced it to him earlier. Where the boy had spent hours watching the clouds in the sky, clearly wishing he too could come and go as freely as they, he now was absorbed in the game, always reading, playing and replaying when he had a chance. Kagemaru too was grateful of finding go, though for different reasons – he had never spoken of it to his mother, but on so many nights he had lain awake in his bed, listening to the water he could _feel_ flowing in the very ground below him, a hand clutched around the pendant that always hang on his neck. Now, at such times, he would think of a go problem, or of a game he had played the previous day, and soon he would be carried away by a different current, the call of water fading into the background.

With his new addiction to spend time with years flew by so fast Kagemaru hardly noticed it. At the beginning of his thirteenth year his father declared it was time to start preparing for his coming-of-age ceremony. This put the entire household into excited turmoil. Kagemaru's mother was at times smiling, at times weeping, petting his cheek as he walked by. "My little boy," she would whisper. "So soon a grown man."

On the day of the ceremony Kagemaru found himself more nervous he had ever been. It would be a simple enough ceremony, with not much for him to do, and there really wasn't any reason for him to be so nervous, but as the servants were making him ready he felt a bunch of butterflies flying around in his stomach, and he could just hope he'd manage to pull it through.

There was one part in the preparations he did not like at all, though: the cutting of his hair. It had grown long indeed, so long he had to be careful with it when he sat down. Now, it would be cut to shoulder-length, and it would be tied upon his head in a topknot. The sound of scissors clicking made him want to flinch, but he stood still, just breathing out an inaudible little sigh.

As it was, the ceremony proceeded without any trouble. His father was there, naturally, and looked at him with something akin to pride in his eyes, and it made his heart swell. His mother, equally naturally, was sitting behind her curtain and so he couldn't see her face, but he was sure she too was watching him proudly, and that thought almost brought tears to his eyes. He fought to keep them back, and managed, somehow. Some people might have noticed the dampness of his eyes, but that was hardly a bad thing; on the contrary, it was a sign of a properly sensitive young man. His uncle was the one to place the court hat on his head, and it was all done. As he stood there in his new attire, he was given his adult name.

 _Sai_ , he repeated quietly in his mind. It would take time to grow used to it.

\---

Being an adult, Sai thought to himself, wasn't quite as grand as he had thought. Mainly it had brought around changes he didn't like. For one, he couldn't meet his mother as informally as before anymore; only seldom she invited him to her side of the curtain. For another, he didn't like the hairdo. The topknot was so tight it hurt his scalp. Another problem was his fast-growing hair – already a week after the ceremony servants had to cut it again.

He had hoped that once he'd be adult he would have greater freedom, but he found out this wasn't the case. He was still practically shut into his mother's house. He wished his father would take him to court, or at least to meet new people, but nothing happened. Yes, he loved his mother, but playing go just against her and occasionally a few of the servants (who, in truth, were better players than his mother) was beginning to make him weary. He wanted to find new opponents.

And so, one day as he had been idling away his hours in the garden, watching the rock garden – he did like the way the sand was raked into little waves, but he didn't like _sand_ – his eyes fell on an open gate and he walked out. He didn't have a clue where he was going, so he just walked on. He wasn't a child anymore. Surely he could go out if he wanted to.

He had a vague understanding of the plan of the city and of the location of his mother's house, and so he started walking toward the direction where he thought the Suzaku Avenue might be. On the way he had to cross a canal, and as he walked across it he could _smell_ the water, hear its call, but he clutched the pendant on his neck and walked on, not giving a glance down into the water.

He had left to the right direction, and soon he found himself at the edge of the Avenue. He stopped, stunned. He had known it was wide, but before he had seen it only partially from the carriage's window. He had had no idea how huge it truly was. All the open space almost made him frightened.

And eager. There was even more to explore than he would have imagined. So he walked and watched and listened and wondered. Very few people seemed to pay any attention to him at all; some stopped to look after him, possibly wondering why a young lord like him was walking around completely unattended. Sai didn't notice. Spring had arrived, and cherry blossoms with it, and it was a beautiful day to be walking in the city. But more than the beauty of the Capital of Peace and Tranquility, it was the ordinary, the mundane that took his attention. He had never before seen commoners in his life – except his parents' servants, but they were quite different from the simple laborers he saw hurrying on their way through the streets, and he was staring at each and every one of them wonderingly.

All things considered, if he were to try, he probably could have counted all the people he had met during his life, at least approximately. He had never realized how _different_ people could be. His curiosity and excitement increased. If people were so different _outwardly_ , how different might they be _inwardly_? And if their differences were as big, or even bigger…

A quiet snapping sound cut off his thoughts. A familiar sound, and his feet turned as if on their own. There was a wall, and a small gate in it, and he walked toward it, peeking in curiously. He couldn't see anyone, but again he heard the _snap_ of a stone against wood, and he stepped in. A few more steps ahead, and he saw two men sitting in the shadow of trees, engaged in a game. He was about to start walking toward them, when he suddenly realized he probably shouldn't be entering other people's yards like that, uninvited. He was about to leave, as quietly as he had come, but then one of the men noticed him.

"Well, hello there," the man said, and Sai stopped, hesitating. "Can I help you somehow?"

"I… I'm sorry to intrude…" Sai glanced at the gate. Then his gaze returned to the go board. "I just… heard the sound of you playing, and…"

"Heard?" the man laughed. "To the streets? Keen hearing you've got, boy."

"I'm sorry," Sai muttered again and bowed. "I'll be going now…"

"Did you want to play?" the man asked. "This game is as good as finished, anyway."

"What, are you resigning?" his opponent asked, and he laughed out loud.

"You're the one who should have already done that," he pointed out.

The other frowned, looking at the board. "What? It's not over yet!"

Sai had walked closer to them, covering his hands under his long sleeves. "It _is_ a difficult situation for white," he muttered, eyeing curiously the board. The man playing white shot him a glare while the other grinned, but he went on, not noticing either of them, "but it is _not_ over yet. White can still win."

The men looked down at the board, then, as one, at him. "Think so?" the one who had black said. "Well, let us see."

They played on, and white did lose, crushingly. Sai was shaking his head as he watched the board. "If you had played here, and then here, you could have won," he said to the white player. "You could have captured all stones in this corner."

The man stared at the board with a frown, and the winner was shaking his head. "Surely not," he started, but then his opponent stood up.

"Why don't you show us how, know-it-all boy," he said in an annoyed tone.

Sai hesitated, but only for a short moment. He would have to be very careful… but thankfully his sleeves were long enough he should be able to play a game so that only his fingertips would show. He pulled his sleeves as far as possible and sat down at the man's place. "If you want me to," he said and started clearing the board. The two watched in silence as he recreated the situation where the game had been when he arrived. "It was black's turn here, wasn't it?" he asked, and without saying anything the man played the same move he'd played in the game.

The men were very silent for a long while once this version of the game was finished. Although he had started with a huge disadvantage, Sai had pulled a three moku win.

Then, "Mototsuna needs to play against this boy," one stated, and after a short while they were joined by a third man, and Sai got to play a full game of his own. More and more people showed up during that game, and as Sai again won, he had soon a new opponent facing him. He kept on winning, one game after another, but more than the constant victories, getting to play against so many different people made him overjoyed. Not all of them were good players, but there was something new for him to learn in every single game.

"Thank you for the game." He bowed his head as yet one game was over. Looking up at the sky he realized that evening was already arriving. He had been out much longer than he had planned. "I think I should be going soon. It's been…"

"Already!" his opponent exclaimed. "What, I get no chance to redeem myself?"

Sai would have loved to play against this man again – he had been one of the best players among his many opponents – but he was afraid his mother was worrying herself sick, not knowing where he was. "I'm sorry," he said, standing up. "Perhaps some other day. I really should be going home now."

"If you must, then you must," the man agreed with a sigh. "But what is your name? Where do I find you for a rematch?"

"I'm Fujiwara no Sai," Sai replied with a bow. "I'm sorry I didn't introduce myself earlier… the games took all my attention. My father is Middle Counselor Tadamasa. I'm still living with my mother on the fifth street."

"Middle Counselor…" someone in the group muttered. "But his sons are older…" the voice trailed off.

"Fifth street," someone else said. "Isn't that where…" He too left his sentence unfinished.

Sai froze for a moment, clenching his fists in the cover of his sleeves. He could feel the change in the atmosphere; the curiosity turning into wariness. Suddenly there was a tight knot of fear in the pit of his stomach. "I…" he said, voice hesitant, "I'll be going then…"

"Your hands, boy," his last opponent said. "Why aren't you showing your hands?"

"Ah… I…" Sai stuttered, not knowing what to say, reflexively hiding his hands behind his back. "I just, I mean, I should go, mother must be worried…"

Someone grasped his sleeve and pulled it up. There were frightened gasps, some made signs to expel evil spirits.

"Should have known it…" one man muttered, hiding behind his fan. "What human child has eyes of such color…"

"Or plays such go," someone added, and there were murmurs of consent. Sai found himself suddenly at the center of a widening circle, as people slowly backed away from him.

"I," he started, but still didn't know what to say. "I _am_ human," he finally whispered, desperately, but the frightened gazes fixed on him didn't believe it.

"That I've had a changeling in my yard, playing on my go board," the owner of the place exclaimed. "Truly frightful!" He too was viewing Sai from behind his fan, as if it would protect him against otherworldly influences. "If you were going, then do go! Go!" He made shooing gestures with his fan, a little panicky look in his eyes. "Get out already!"

Sai opened his mouth again but got out only a choked gasp; then he turned and ran.

He ran fast, tears in his eyes, without any idea where he was going to. People stared after him as he went, but he didn't even see them – he just wanted away. It is hard to say what might have happened had he crossed any waters in his current state, but luckily there were many people on the streets looking for him, and he ran straight into one group.

"Young master!" one servant exclaimed. "Where have you been?"

He stopped, stared at them blinking tears away from his eyes. Then he raised his arm to cover his face with his sleeve, embarrassed. He answered nothing to the servants' questions but allowed them to lead himself back home where his frantic mother was waiting for him. She received him full of relief, which first turned into anger (How could you disappear like that!) and then to concern and worry (Are you alright? Are you sure you're alright?) Both made him feel equally bad, but even so he didn't answer her questions either, sat only quietly while she was fussing over him as if he were still just a child. Only when his father arrived he finally told them, fragmentarily, where he had been and what had happened.

"You foolish boy!" his father snapped. "Shouldn't you have understood they'd realize who you are?"

"I'm sorry, father," he said, eyes on the ground. "I… didn't think. And… they liked playing against me, so…" _So I thought they wouldn't, maybe, mind…_

"Is it just his fault?" his mother put in. "He is not a child anymore, yet you want to keep him locked in here as if he were a prisoner! You are his father – if you had introduced him to people properly this would have never happened!"

The Middle Counselor heaved out a great sigh. "You think people would accept him just like that if I were to introduce him? Your naivety is astounding. But the damage has been done… I guess we have no choice. I'll take him to court tomorrow."

"Tomorrow!" his wife exclaimed. "Isn't that a little too hasty? Shouldn't we wait for people to calm down and forget…"

"No. We have obviously waited too long. It's better to cut wings from rumors right away."

And so it was decided. Sai said nothing. Just one day earlier news like this would have made him thrilled. Now, he saw the worry in his mother's eyes, and couldn't help sharing it.

Nevertheless, early next day he was dressed in court attire, and he headed to the palace with his father.

"Do not hide your hands," the Middle Counselor told him quietly on their way there. "Hide nothing. You have nothing to be shamed of."

Sai nodded. _I'm not ashamed_ , he thought to himself. _Just scared_.

They reached the palace and climbed out of their palanquin. As they walked through the yards they got long looks from people. The Middle Counselor behaved as if he noticed nothing, and Sai mimicked him as he best could. His father spotted people he knew and walked to them.

They exchanged a few pleasantries, during which the men's eyes kept on wandering to Sai and his hands. "This is my youngest son, Sai," the Middle Counselor finally said, and Sai bowed. "He just recently had his coming-of-age ceremony, and I thought it's about time I present him at court." He spoke lightly as if there was nothing peculiar about the matter at all. His friends kept on glancing from him to the boy, clearly uncertain of how to react.

"A splendid young man," one of them finally muttered. "I believe we have heard much about him." Once again his gaze dropped to Sai's hands. "Is he… I mean, is there…" he paused, looking confused, unable to figure out how to put his question into words without offending the Middle Counselor.

"You have heard many rumors, you mean?" the counselor said still in a light tone. "I am sure of that. And I admit, it is quite clear that my boy is somewhat extraordinary. But what of it? Perhaps he still can be of service to the throne, some day."

"Certainly," his friend murmured, glancing at the others as if wishing for support. "He is apparently a skilled go-player, for his age… or so I hear."

"He does have some skill for it," the Middle Counselor said modestly. He seemed to be about to say more, but then a new voice joined the conversation.

"Go? How splendid! It is always wonderful to see new enthusiastic go players enter the court."

The Middle Counselor turned to face the newcomer, a light shadow passing across his face. "Then I'm happy to tell you my son loves the game quite deeply." He turned back to Sai. "Now, here is a face and name you should remember. This is Sugawara no Akitada, the emperor's go tutor."

Sai's eyes widened a little and he bowed, deeper than before. "Honored to meet you."

"So, you enjoy go?" the tutor asked, and Sai nodded eagerly.

"Greatly! I am constantly amazed at the depth of the game. I wish I could spend all my days playing…"

The man laughed. "You did not exaggerate," he said to the counselor, watching the boy thoughtfully. "You know, I have heard of the games you played yesterday, and I must admit I am curious. Would you play a game with me?"

Sai's whole face brightened.

"Perhaps later," his father put in apologetically before he could say anything. "Today I was wishing to present him to the emperor, so…"

"Father!" Sai exclaimed. "Please! Just one quick game!"

The emperor's go tutor was nodding. "You are a little early," he pointed out. "I am sure we'd have time for one game before the emperor receives anyone."

The Middle Counselor didn't look happy about it, but in the end consented.

"You say you won all your games yesterday?" he whispered to his son as they were waiting for a go board. "Don't win this one. It would be too strange if someone your age would win against the imperial go tutor."

Sai nodded slowly. Losing purposefully was a concept that had never crossed his mind, but he figured his father had a reason for the warning. He just hoped this man would be so good he would lose anyway.

From the very beginning he could feel that this game would be different from the others he had played. The man on the other side of the board had a strange air about him. His appearance was friendly, but even so Sai felt a coldness in him, and as he glanced hesitantly at his father who wore a very guarded expression on his face, he figured there was something going on that he didn't quite understand. Obviously these two weren't friends, and that saddened him – to be the emperor's go tutor this man had to be a great player, and so he would have wanted to be on friendly terms with him.

But the flow in the stones this day was anything but friendly. Sai hesitated, thinking of his father's words. He would have wanted to play his best, show what he could and so win the man over, but he didn't dare to disobey his father. He played his stone, and his opponent smiled a little, clearly knowing that this was not the best move. Sai twitched, annoyed. I know it's not! he wanted to shout, but remained quiet, eyes on the board.

"It _is_ very peculiar," the man suddenly said as they had been playing for a while. Sai looked up and realized he was watching his hands. "I have never seen anything like this. One can't but wonder…" He played his move, and again Sai's reply wasn't quite the best. A thin smile tugged his lips again. "Certainly a good game for one so young," he stated, "but hardly anything spectacular. I would have expected more. But I guess there is nothing else to see but a strange freak of nature…"

He looked away, out to the blue sky, and his thoughts seemed to wander away. Sai bit his lip. Nothing but a freak of nature? A slight tremor ran through him, and he could practically feel his scalp itching. _Look at me! Look at my go! Can't you see it? Isn't it a little too precise how I always play the second best move?_ But his opponent laid yet another stone on the board, the look on his face almost bored.

Sai shot a guilty glance at his father. I'm sorry, he mouthed, though he knew his father didn't notice. He was some ten moku behind at the moment. Against an opponent of this quality it was much… but it was not hopeless. He was sure it was not hopeless. At the very least he could show this man what his go _truly_ was like.

He played a stone. No one seemed to pay much attention to that first move, not his opponent nor their audience, but five moves later he noticed a change in them. He met his opponent's eyes across the board, and for the first time the man really looked at him. Sai suppressed the urge to smile. _See?_

After yet five more moves, his father got a coughing attack. Sai glanced at him and for a moment their eyes met. He winced a little at the look he got, but shook lightly his head. No. This was his game.

It turned into a fierce battle. Outwardly Sai remained quiet and calm, but inside he was rejoicing. Never mind the result – this was the best game he had ever played. Stone after stone they plunged deeper into the game, and every time he thought they possibly could not reach any higher level, a move from his opponent forced him to rethink everything once again.

In the end he won by two moku.

The audience was breathless. For a long moment no one said anything. Then the emperor's go tutor raised his gaze, and his eyes were dark.

"This… is not natural," he said slowly.

Sai looked at him, lips a little parted, suddenly all tense. "Did you not… enjoy the game?" he asked, very, very quietly.

His opponent stood up, sleeves swooshing. "This is not natural!" he repeated. He turned to the Middle Counselor. "I do not know _what_ your son is, but this… this… no child can play like this!"

"Well, to be exact, he is not a child anymore…" the counselor tried to say, but no one was listening to him.

"He is right," one of the audience said, eyeing Sai warily. "This kind of game is impossible! And what… what is the matter with his hair?"

Sai raised a hand to his head, realizing his scalp was still itching. His hair, which should have been pulled tightly into the topknot, felt somehow loose. As he touched it by his left ear a part of it fell free and hang down over his shoulder, much longer than it had been in the morning.

The men stared at him, then at the counselor. "What is this creature you're trying to bring to the court?"

The Middle Counselor fell silent. He watched the board and the finished game, glanced at his son, and shook his head slightly. "I do not know," he said quietly. Then he looked at Sai. "Come. We're going."

"But…"

"Come, now!" He started walking away, and Sai had no choice but to follow.

They spent the way home in silence. As soon as she heard they were already back Sai's mother hurried to them.

"I do not know what this so-called son is that you bore for me," Sai's father exclaimed the moment he saw her. "But certainly none of mine!" He grasped angrily Sai's hat and pulled it off, and his wife let out a tiny gasp at the sight of the hair that cascaded freely over Sai's back.

"You can keep him," the Middle Counselor concluded darkly, turned on his heels, and left.

A long moment mother and son stared at each other. "I am sorry, mother," Sai whispered then. "I'm afraid I messed up everything."

She closed her eyes, shook her head, and pulled him into a tight hug.

After this unsuccessful visit at the palace they soon found their living at the capital quite restless. The Middle Counselor clearly had decided to have nothing to do with them anymore, and without his support they were quite on their own. The rumors were growing wilder all the time, and after someone had attempted to put their mansion on fire, Sai's mother decided it might be safer for them to leave the capital for a while. They packed their things and one early morning slipped quietly out of the city with only a few men as their entourage, heading to a temple where she had once been in retreat.

When they left the capital behind, Sai's feelings were quite mixed. He thought longingly of the house where he had grown up (though not so long ago he had dreamed of leaving it behind), wondered if he and his father ever could be reconciled. Even so, he was glad to finally get out, see the world. One capital, perhaps, was closed to them, but certainly rest of the world was much larger. His mother, though, seemed to take their voluntary exile quite heavily, and this saddened him.

They had traveled for a few days when one evening when they had just stopped for the night two men approached them. They were rather coarse and dirty, but as far as they caused no trouble Sai's mother decided it was best to be polite with them and hope they would continue their way soon. She told her servants to speak as little as possible with the men, and remained herself, keeping Sai with her, behind her covers.

In the night, a scream woke them up. Sai was the first on his feet, wide awake. He smelled something rusty in the air, and all his senses were warning him of danger. "Mother," he whispered as she sat up, clinging to her blanket, but fell then silent.

Two forms were rolling on the ground. There was flash of something bright, a gurgling sound, and that rusty smell got stronger. Sai glanced frantically around as one of the forms stood up. The other remained on the ground, unmoving. And a bit farther away he saw another lumped figure, sprawling on the ground… Of their other servants there was no sign, but soon a form appeared among the trees. For a moment Sai held his breath, hoping… but as the moon came out of the clouds he saw that the ones left standing were the two strangers.

He heard his mother let out a frightened gasp, and he swallowed. If all of their men were dead, how could _he_ protect her? The men were already walking toward them. One of them reached his hand and pulled away the cover.

"Sorry to bother your sleep, ma'am," he said with a grin, "but there seems to be some bandits on the move. Bad night to sleep outside."

The other man chuckled, but frowned then looking at Sai. "The hell is this? Dressed like a man but looks like a girl. Which _are_ you?" Sai's hair, the source behind his confusion, had just kept on growing and now it reached almost to his knees.

Sai took a deep breath, attempted to steady his voice. "We do not carry much with us," he said, taking a step so that he stood between his mother and the men. "You can take it all. Just leave my mother in peace."

"I asked what you are! Do we have to check?" The man reached his hand to grasp Sai, but at that instant his mother jumped to her feet.

"Do not touch my son!" she shrieked, pushing Sai aside.

The men laughed as she stood there, panting, facing them. "Son, is it? Are you sure? He's quite a looker. Then again, so are you."

He grasped her hair and pulled her closer. Sai plunged forward – " _Mother!_ " – but the other man grasped him, holding him back. He could but watch as his mother struggled against the man's hold, attempted to bite his arm, and the man cursed, wrenching her head back, but still she fought back, twisting, trying to break free, and he pulled, sharply, and there was a quietest _snap_ , and her body went limp in his hands.

The man cursed loudly and let her fall to the ground. "Stupid bitch!"

"What, you broke her neck? Idiot!" The other man practically threw Sai from his hands – the boy had gone almost as limp as his mother. He fell to his knees and crawled to her, breath stuck in his throat, hands reaching toward her but not daring to touch.

"Mother," he whispered, eyes staring at the awkward bend of her neck. "Mother…"

"Sorry 'bout that, kid," one of the men said. They were already going through their few possessions. "Her own fault, though."

Sai looked up. His eyes fixed on the men who were examining his mother's personal things, and slowly he stood up. Anger was swelling up in him, so great he thought he might explode with it. "Mother," he whispered one more time, eyes dark and wide, nostrils flared, and a shudder went through him. His hand rose up, to the fire pendant on his neck, and with one sharp move he tore it off for the first time since he had been a toddler.

As the pendant dropped to the ground from his fingers he felt the water around him, _in him_ , in the land, in the air, in his mother's body on the ground… in the two men in front of him. He _reached_ to it, called it like it used to call him, and suddenly first one of the men, then the other stumbled, gurgled, fell to the ground, water filling their lungs and mouths, making them drown on dry land.

Gasping for breath they glanced at the boy behind them, horror in their eyes. They tried to say something, shout, perhaps beg, but couldn't for the water pouring from their mouths and noses. One of them tried to ran but soon fell to the ground again, and after an endless period of thrashing and spluttering they finally lay still in the pools forming around them.

Sai stared at them long, unmoving, breathing heavily. Slowly his anger faded and his gaze moved to his mother. Tears filling his eyes he knelt beside her again, this time gathering her in his arms. A long while he stayed there, holding her in the quiet of the night. Then, without a glance at the dead bodies around him, he stood up, still holding her. Slowly he started to walk away.

His mother wasn't a big woman, but still she made a heavy burden for a boy like him. He didn't have long to go, though; he knew that. The water flowing in the ground guided him, and soon he arrived to a small lake, hidden among the trees. He knelt down by its shore, gently lowering his mother to the ground.

He knew the custom would be to cremate her, but he would not give his mother to fire. He looked around, gathered a few big stones and wrapped them into her clothes. After short hesitation he took off his own clothes. Then he took her in his arms again and walked into the water. When his feet didn't anymore reach the ground he swam, finding that movement more natural than walking had ever been, still holding on to her. Once he reached the deepest part of the lake he took one final look ofher face and then let her fall. A while he still stayed floating quietly on the lake's surface, watching the trees, the pile of his clothes on the shore, the dark night sky, and then he dove into the water and let it all go.

~*~*~

A thousand years flew by, and many a traveler passed by the little hidden lake during that time. They were a various lot, rich and poor, old and young, some full of dreams, others, despair. Some stopped to cool their aching feet in the cold water, but they saw nothing special in the lake, just a nice place for a short rest.

With years the city crept closer and closer, swallowing many other forests and lakes whole, but somehow this little corner was spared. Despite the city's new proximity, the place remained as untouched and wild as ever before – somehow it seemed that the locals had all but forgotten about its existence, for it was very seldom that anyone came there. A year could pass, and the only movement by the shore would be a squirrel jumping from a branch to branch, or a fox running among the trees.

But one day two voices approached, young, one male, one female.

"What a wonderful place!" the woman was saying. "It is almost magical – as if we had stepped into another world, another _time_ when we came to this forest. Who knew there are places like this so close to the city?"

"If you like nature so much," the man said with a little laugh, "maybe we should have went somewhere else than Kyoto."

"Oh, but I've always wanted to see Kyoto! I can't believe I've never been here before!"

The man smiled a little at her happy tone. "Even so... we could have come here any time. It's our honeymoon, I would have wanted to take you somewhere more... special. Like... Paris? How about Paris?"

The woman laughed. "I would not say no to Paris, if you wanted to go there. But I like Kyoto. Besides, you know we can't afford to go so far right now. Certainly some day we can see Paris, if you wish; I'm sure it won't be going anywhere – oh, look! A lake!"

"This is a beautiful sight," the man admitted as they stopped to watch the little lake. "A bit surprising too."

"The air is so fresh here," the woman said, taking a deep breath. "Mmm! Wonderful." She kicked off her sandals and ran to the water. "It's not too cold!" she shouted to the man. "How about going to swim?"

"What?" He seemed startled. "Now? But we don't have our swimsuits or towels with us..."

"Who needs those?" She was already pulling her shirt over her head. "It's a hot day, we'll dry soon in the sun. And we're all alone here, so why not?" Her shorts flew to the same pile with the shirt, and soon she was running into the water, laughing.

"Mitsuko!" the man called on the shore, looking a little startled, but the woman didn't listen. She was already swimming with strong strokes to the middle of the lake.

"Come on, Masao!" she shouted, turning to look at him. "This is wonderful!"

He looked at her, shaking his head, and took then off his sandals and rolled his pants up. He sat on a rock, dangling his feet in the water. "I'm not swimming. But you have fun!"

Mitsuko waved at him. "Your loss!" She took still a few strokes, and dove into the wonderfully cool clear water.

She had always loved swimming, especially in nature. The water surrounded her, caressed her, carried her, and it connected her to the world in a way she couldn't explain, almost couldn't herself understand when she stood on the dry land. In water, she was a part of _everything_.

And in this little lake, that feeling was stronger than ever. She surfaced, took a deep breath, and dove again. The water got darker and colder the deeper she went, but she knew she would get warm again soon enough in the sun. She glided through water, nimble as a fish, and enjoying herself nearly as much. She turned to head to the surface again, but stopped, confused.

No light of sun came from above. The water was dark all around her. She kicked still with her feet, hesitating. This had to be up, right? She kicked again, pulled a strong stroke, panic rising in her. This _had_ to be up! But still she could see no surface, no light, and she stopped, turned, turned again and wanted to scream, pressure growing in her chest.

_Masao, help!_

She couldn't lose directions like this. She couldn't. Shouldn't the little air that was left in her lungs help her rise toward the surface? She floated, waited, told herself to remain calm and think logically, but nothing happened. She was lost in the dark.

She squeezed her lips tightly shut, forced herself to keep from breathing though her lungs were crying for air. Blood was humming in her ears and she was sure she was crying, though in the water she couldn't feel the tears. She couldn't just stay there. She had to start moving. But where, which was the right direction?

Right when she thought she couldn't take it anymore, when a desperate _so this is it?_ flashed in her mind and a new kind of darkness was beginning to take over her sight, she thought she saw a human form approaching.

_Masao?_

The form was blurred and hazy, and she wasn't sure if she really saw it or if it was just her brain playing tricks with her. But it seemed to raise its hand, and point, and as she turned to look she saw the lightest shimmer of light up there, so far away. Again she kicked with her legs, pulled, desperately, and right when she thought her lungs must burst she hit the surface, gasping for breath.

"Mitsuko!"

That was Masao, in the water by the shore. She turned and saw that he had come so far his pants had to be getting wet. She raised her hand and waved, though a little weakly.

"Don't scare me like that!" Masao shouted to her. "I didn't know you can dive for that long!"

"Me neither," she breathed. She shot a glance around. Here on the surface everything was normal – the sun shone, birds sung, a tiny breeze moved among the trees. And the lake was as cool and inviting as ever before.

She was cold. And she had swum enough for this day.

.

Next spring the young couple was at a hospital, watching with smiles their firstborn son.

"He's so beautiful," Mitsuko breathed, holding the baby in her arms. "So... perfect."

Masao smiled as well, but frowned, too. "So... what is it about those hands?"

"The doctors said it seems to be some strange case of syndactyly. It's nothing to worry about – they said it will be easy to operate once he is a little older. My little frog boy." She kissed the baby's head and stroked the strange goldish hair that grew on his forehead.

"Have you decided the name?" They had agreed Mitsuko would get free hands with the name – at least as long as she wouldn't pick one Masao simply couldn't stand.

"Yes." Now that she saw her son, she realized the name had always been clear to her. "He's Hikaru."


	2. Hikaru

Five years later Mitsuko still watched her son with a smile, but now there was something strained in her expression. These first five years had been difficult, and she was growing dismally certain that the future wouldn't be any kinder to them.

She and Hikaru were living alone nowadays, in a little house in the countryside at the edge of a small town. Masao came to see them on the weekends, but because of his work he couldn't, _wouldn't_ , live in the country, and so he had a small studio in Tokyo. And Hikaru couldn't live in a city, that much was clear to her. Some claimed she was being silly and superstitious, but they hadn't seen what she had. Nor had they lived through the constant water damages that had plagued them ever since Hikaru was small. This little house had no running water – just a well, one that was tightly covered. And no body of water anywhere close by, she had made sure of that. Too many times she had had to fish her son out of fountains and pools – she didn't want to risk lakes or rivers.

She didn't know what to think of it all. Doctors had no explanation for the web that always grew back between her son's fingers. They took tests, endless tests, but never did they find anything abnormal. She was growing tired of them, and resentful, sure that they weren't so curious about Hikaru's condition just for the boy's sake. And then there was his hair, his ever-growing hair that had to be cut once a week, and his golden bangs that people thought she was dyeing, and no one had an explanation for that, either.

It was weekend again, and this time Masao couldn't come. She wasn't sure if his reasons were real or just excuses… but anyway, it was expensive to travel back and forth every week. Perhaps every second week would be better in the future.

She was sitting by her computer, attempting to write an article for a small gardening magazine, a job she had taken when they had moved apart. Now, her brain was empty and she couldn't get a single word down. Perhaps, she mused staring out of the window, instead of articles she should be writing children's books about little boys with frog's hands and the strangest affinity for water…

Water. There were water drops on the window. She stood up. "Hikaru?" No reply. The boy had to be out already, he always seemed to know when it was going to rain to the minute. He was much more trustworthy than the weather forecast – which had said nothing of rain this day.

To her relief and dismay she found him in the backyard, standing there face turned upward as the rain fell on him. "Hikaru! Come in! You'll catch cold if you get wet!"

He didn't move, as if he hadn't even heard her. "Hikaru!" she shouted again, and pressed her lips into a tight line. The rain was growing harder. "Are you listening to me!" She ran to him and grasped his arm. "Come, now!"

"Mom!" Hikaru pulled back as she started to drag him in. "Wait! Just a moment, please?"

"I told you to come in! You'll catch cold!"

"No I won't! It's just water, mom, it won't hurt me!"

"Just water." She stopped. "Just water! I'm not sure if there is such thing as _just_ _water_! Now, when I tell you something, you…" She turned to her son, and meeting his strange sea-green eyes that were watching her, wide and confused, she forgot what she had been saying. A moment they just stared at each other, water drops making little brooks across their faces; then Hikaru smiled.

"Don't worry, mom! You don't have to be afraid of water, it's not evil." He shook his head and little droplets flew from his hair all around. "It's not evil," he repeated, smiling up at her, and she shuddered, suddenly remembering the time she had been lost in the dark, cold water.

"Just come in now," she whispered tiredly. "Please." She started walking, and now Hikaru followed her without a word.

After having changed dry clothes both for herself and her son Mitsuko returned to her unwritten article. Hikaru sat down by the kitchen table, and when he heard the sound of typing from his mother's workroom, he opened the window, just a little bit.

"Sai," he whispered to the rain. "Mom doesn't understand."

 _It's alright,_ the rain replied. _She is a mother and she's bound to worry. Just be a good boy and don't cause her trouble, and she will yet learn to trust water once more._

Hikaru sighed, not quite understanding himself.

Sai had been there as long as he could remember. Hikaru had used to think of him as the voice in water – at first, as the voice _of_ water, but with time he had learned to separate something distinctly individual from the constant wordless murmuring somewhere in the back of his mind. And just recently it had crossed his mind to ask if this voice had a name. _Sai_ , he thought, smug with his little secret. Though at times he wished that he could just tell everything to his mother, to make her stop worrying… but Sai said he shouldn't, that she wouldn't stop worrying at all if he did – on the contrary, it would make her even more afraid. Hikaru couldn't quite understand why (Sai wasn't at all scary!) but he had promised he wouldn't.

He laid his head on his arms on the table and watched out into the rain, bored. "Sai, tell me a story," he said quietly, and the rain started to whisper about an enchanted citadel with a thousand magical fountains in it, each with a power of its own, and after a while the boy fell asleep by the table.

-

Days passed, and each time Hikaru's mother tore off yet one page of the calendar, she grew more troubled. "What shall we do?" she asked her husband one day when he was again visiting them. "It's time for him to go to school… do you think we could arrange home tutoring for him?"

Masao snorted. "As if we could afford something like that. Besides, are you going to keep the boy locked up all his life? There is a fine elementary school in the town, I've looked into it. Though it'd be better if you agreed to move back to Tokyo…"

"No." Mitsuko shook her head, not looking at him. "I don't dare to bring him to a big city like Tokyo, not yet. I'm not sure about the town, either… there will be much more water around there than here. And what if the other children will tease him because of his hands?"

"You can't keep him locked up all his life," Masao repeated. "We'll enroll him in the school here. Though I must say I think you're much too paranoid where it comes to water…"

"Are you forgetting already?" Mitsuko cut him off, voice bitter. "How he always managed to find water, everywhere? Almost drowned so many times before we moved here? And all those water damages and bursting pipes, anywhere he went… lord, what if something like that happens at his school?"

"Now, _those_ had to be coincidences. There is no way a tiny child like him could have caused such things!"

Mitsuko sighed. Masao had never quite accepted all the peculiarities surrounding their son. He had no explanation for them, either – his solution seemed to be to ignore it all, deny that anything was wrong. Coincidences, indeed.

But he had a point. Some day she would _have_ to let Hikaru out into the world. And, she well realized this too, it might not be wise to put that day off too far.

So, next spring when school started Hikaru too entered the Kanba elementary school. This was a small school in a small town, and in addition to Hikaru there were only six other first grade students, three girls, three boys. Hikaru watched them with almost as great curiosity as they watched him, as he had spent quite reclusive life with his mother, barely ever leaving their little house. Not that he would have been lonely, as for most of the time he had had Sai for company (he never quite understood what his mother meant when she said he should stay away from water – how could he, when water was everywhere in the world?) but now he was quite excited with this sudden introduction to not just one but six children of his age.

Hikaru's mother had spoken with the teacher, explaining to her his situation as closely as she dared, not wanting to sound like a madwoman. The teacher in turn explained it to the class, trying to put it into words the children might understand. Her efforts were mostly wasted, for everyone was staring at Hikaru's hands, so fixated that they barely heard what she was saying.

Quite predictably a crowd gathered around Hikaru during the first break, as pretty much every single one of the school's forty three students wanted to see his hands.

"That's freaky!" a third grader announced after one look.

Hikaru gave him a curious look. "Why?"

"Cause people don't have hands like that! See!" He spread his fingers. "This is what hands should look like!"

Hikaru just laughed. "What's so great in having same kind of hands as everyone else? I like mine!" He raised his hands high up, fingers spread. "Or… are you jealous?"

"Of a freak? As if!" the other boy snorted, but, seeing that Hikaru didn't pay any attention to his taunts he soon ran away with his friends and a ball.

Hikaru enjoyed fully being at the center of other children's attention. He had never understood what in his hands bothered his mother so much, and now less than ever. He wouldn't have changed his hands to normal ones for any price.

"Isn't this great, Sai?" he whispered quietly as they were returning to class after the break.

 _Yes_ , he heard a quiet reply, and felt a hesitation, as if Sai was about to say something more but thought better of it. He didn't pay much attention to that though, too happy about the success of his first school day.

His mother was happy, too, when he told her how much he liked school. Next morning he left to school full of enthusiasm, and the next as well. This lasted for about one week. Then it finally sunk in to him that this was what he would be doing for the next week too, and the next week, and the next… and not just next weeks, but for the countless years to come (years that exceeded his age could be called countless, Hikaru reasoned.) And it wasn't just having to go to school five days a week, but also having homework, and something called exams looming in the future, the sound of which he _didn't_ like.

Moreover, the interest of the other children was fading. Now he found himself spending the breaks alone. The other boys in his class were playing together, but their games, they explained to Hikaru, were such that they worked only if there were three people, and only three, so he never could join them. The older children had their own groups and didn't have room for some strange first grader either. No one, at least, was teasing him, except for some occasional gibes, but they pretty much ignored him, and after all the attention of the first days that hurt. And when they learned he wouldn't be taking part into the swimming classes, they laughed (a frog that can't swim!). Hikaru's mother had managed somehow to get a paper from doctors, releasing him from swimming, no matter what he thought about it.

One day on a lunch break he was sitting alone, munching his food, when one of the girls in his class came to him. "Can I sit here?" she asked, and after staring at her a moment he moved his head in a way that might have been a nod. She sat down next to him, and they ate together in silence.

Hikaru never quite figured out why Akari chose to be friends with him, but he was thankful she did – not that he ever would have said that aloud. Perhaps it was because while the other girls were playing house, she rather climbed trees or played ball games. Or maybe, he thought glumly, she just had felt sorry for him. Be that how it may, the two spent much time together from then on, Akari even coming to visit Hikaru's home, which made his mother quite happy. The girl might have found the place a little peculiar, what with no water and an outdoor toilet, but she seemed to like the old house and came over many times after that, even though it was quite a long walk from the town.

The first school year passed, and the second was well on its way, and finally Hikaru's mother felt like she might breathe a sigh of relief. Nothing untoward had happened, and although Hikaru hadn't made many friends he had at least Akari, and he didn't seem unhappy. Of course, Hikaru had never told her how day by day, week by week he felt the water more and more strongly, how its constant whispering grew louder in his ears, and he just _had to_ , many times in a day, go to the school's toilet just to hold his hands in the water. Talking with Sai helped, somewhat, but as a result of it all his concentration at school worsened and it was beginning to show in his grades.

As the second year was closing to its end something finally did happen.

The day had started badly for Hikaru. It had rained in the night, heavily, and he had slept restlessly, having strange, fragmentary dreams that had a nightmarish quality to them. He was tired and grumpy when his mother came to wake him up. The rain was over, but the ground was wet with big puddles here and there, and it seemed to him that the water's whispering was louder than usual, almost bothersome. It made it hard for him to think, and more often than once the teacher had to repeat her questions to him in the class, for even though he tried, he just somehow didn't catch what she said on the first time.

During a break he went to toilet, and having finished his business for once didn't waste any time with washing his hands. He was drying them off, very carefully, when two boys came to the toilet. He saw them out of the corner of his eye, and turned to leave without looking at them.

"Hey, it's the froggy freak!" one of the boys said, and stepped on his way as he tried to walk by. "Did you have a swim in the toilet? Be careful you don't drown!"

Hikaru rolled his eyes. " _That_ was just stupid," he informed the boy and attempted to step by him, but the other moved, staying on his way.

"Oh? Who's stupid here? Or did you have water in your ears in the class?"

Hikaru couldn't help laughing aloud at that. "If you'd only know," he muttered. He stood still a moment, waiting. "I'm trying to get out of here," he said then, as the other boy didn't move. He took a step, and the boy pushed him back.

"Froggy freak! Did your mom marry a frog or how did you end up like that?"

"Maybe he's a frog prince," the other boy suggested, and they laughed. Hikaru frowned; the blood humming in his ears mixed with the water whispering in the toilet's pipes, making it hard for him to even hear them – and he wasn't sure if it was quite worth the trouble to exert himself.

"Yeah! Maybe your girlfriend should kiss you to change you to human!"

"I dunno, her kiss would probably change him to a frog."

Hikaru took a deep breath and told himself to ignore them – or maybe that was Sai who said it, he wasn't quite sure. His head was _hurting_. He tried again to get past them, and again they pushed him back, saying something that he missed.

"Are you?" the boy repeated, and Hikaru blinked.

"What?"

The boys laughed again. "Deaf and dumb!"

"Definitely at least dumb!"

Hikaru attempted to get past them again, but joining hands they stayed on his way, keeping him in a corner. "Deaf 'n dumb froggy freak!" they singsonged.

Something snapped. "Let me out of here!" Hikaru screamed, and at the same instant the drains gurgled, and water burst out of every sink and toilet with strength. The three boys stood frozen in the sudden flood, getting instantly completely wet as the water spouted on them. Then Hikaru ran out, feet slipping on the wet floor.

They had to call his mother to take him home to get dry clothes – the weather was chilly, and he could hardly walk all the way home, wet as he was. His mother arrived fast, and watched the flooded bathroom dumbfounded. She glanced at her son who stared at the floor sullenly. Luckily everyone was so focused on the accident that no one seemed to notice how his hair was clearly inches longer than it had been when he left to school. It might have helped that the hair was completely wet and plastered against his head.

"We don't know what happened," the principal was saying. "Perhaps it's somehow connected to the heavy rain last night."

"Yes, perhaps," Mitsuko whispered and turned to take her son home.

At home Hikaru complained of headache, and she decided it would be best, under the circumstances, for him to stay rest of the day home. She attempted to ask him what had happened, but he ran into his room and slammed the door shut behind him.

 _Hikaru_ , Sai attempted to say as he plunged into his bed and drew the blanket over him. _Hikaru, you should…_

"Shut up Sai! Leave me be!" he yelled, face pressed against his pillow, and the watery presence retreated.

-

_It's not your fault_ , Sai told him later. _There is great power in water, and it's hard to control._

"It's not that," Hikaru muttered quietly, still lying in his bed, curled into a small ball. "The water's growing so loud. It's been happening for a while, but it's never been that bad. I mean, I _love_ water, but why does it have to… to bother me so much?"

Sai was quiet for a moment. _I remember the Call getting stronger as I grew up, too_ , he finally said.

Hikaru paused, thinking about what Sai had just said. "Do you mean… you've been alive once? I mean, like… like me?" He had never thought about where Sai came from – he had somehow assumed he had always been there, in the water.

 _Yes_.

"What happened?"

There was a moment's silence. _I decided to join the water,_ Sai said finally.

Hikaru mused about this for a while. "So… if I follow the call, I'll end up like you?"

 _Yes._ Sai sounded happy about this prospect, but Hikaru wasn't quite sure.

"If I'm like you, I… I won't be able to talk with anyone else, would I? With anyone…" he glanced at his hands, "normal, that is?"

Sai said nothing, but he could feel his assent. He sighed, and thought of his mother and Akari.

"Are there many people like us?" he asked quietly. He could feel a headshake.

_No. In all my years, I've met only one other._

"Only one huh? That's not much." He rolled on his back and lay there staring at the ceiling. "Sai," he said then. "I don't think I want to, to join the water yet. Do you know any way I could make it more quiet?"

_You should find an onmyouji and ask him to give you a fire pendant._

"What?"

 _But I have noticed,_ Sai went on, thoughtfully, _that there aren't many onmyouji around these days. So… there was one thing that helped me. A game called go._

Hikaru was skeptical, to say the least, but he listened as Sai started to tell him about the game, and to his surprise he found himself intrigued. Sai, on the other hand, was overjoyed, for it seemed that Hikaru shared his ability with the game. The boy was, of course, still a beginner and far from his level, but he started progressing fast. Hikaru was happy, too, for in addition to go being really fun, it also did help, just as Sai had promised.

A little later, when she asked him what he'd want to have as a birthday present, his mother was in for a surprise.

"That's what he said," she told her husband on phone. "Books about go and a go board."

Masao wondered about it, too, but when he arrived for Hikaru's eighth birthday he had a neatly wrapped parcel with him, and that parcel contained a book about the basics of go, clearly meant for children, and a foldable go board. Hikaru watched them dubiously. He would have preferred something a little more advanced.

He read the book through, though, just in case there would be something new – and there was, really; Sai had never heard of this strange komi rule – but other than that he did not learn much out of it. So he started to play with his toy-like little board. Soon he found out that against Sai he actually preferred blind go, for it was quite a pain having to place the stones for both players, but he played a few games with his mother on the board. She said she knew how the game was played, but he soon realized this just meant she knew the very basics and nothing more, and most of the time didn't seem to have a clue what she was doing on the board.

Sai suggested he could try to teach the game to someone, that someone being Akari for the lack of any other close friends. Hikaru was doubtful about it, though the girl seemed to be interested enough in the game. But she learned so _slowly_. More often than not their games ended up in fights, as Hikaru lost his patience with what he thought to be idiotic moves, and it wasn't overall surprising that gradually they stopped playing go altogether, and from then on he played only against Sai.

His mother thought that his interest in go had been, unsurprisingly, quite short-lived – she couldn't know that when he lay on his bed instead of playing on his board or reading his book, apparently dozing off, he was in fact engaged in quite a complicated game.

Go might have helped him to ignore water's call, but it didn't help him to concentrate in school, quite on the contrary. He was in a world of his own, most of the time, and during the third year his grades suddenly plummeted, giving his mother a new source of worry. She decided to start teaching him home after school, and Sai too tried to help, deciding they could, perhaps, at times talk about other things than go. It all helped but a little, though, and Hikaru made it to the last year of elementary school just barely passing all his exams.

 _You really should find an onmyouji somewhere,_ Sai stated worriedly one day. _You need help. I was never quite this badly caught in the middle – but then again, I had my pendant since I was a baby. I wish I hadn't thrown it away, I could give it to you now…_

"Yeah, yeah," Hikaru muttered. It was summer vacation, and he was enjoying it fully, doing nothing. He lay on his back in the forest behind their house, at the moment listening more closely to the movements of ground water under him than to Sai. "I'm fine."

 _You are_ not _fine_ , Sai insisted. _I can see it. You have never really been fine, so you don't know the difference. What about that thing your mother uses, the computer thing that has a net in it? She said once you can find anything in the net. Do you think one could find an onmyouji there? Though I don't know if an onmyouji would let himself be caught in a net…_

Hikaru snorted. "You're so silly at times," he just said, but this had given him an idea. He sat up and thought for a moment. "I think I'll ask mom," he said then, standing up.

_About an onmyouji in the net?_

"Nope. This is better."

He found his mother in her workroom, where else, absorbed in her research for a new article. She was nowadays writing for more than just one magazine, and her articles had become relatively popular.

"Mom?" Hikaru asked by the door, and she glanced at him before turning back to her books.

"Yes, honey?"

"Can you play go on the internet?"

"What?" She paused from her reading. "Go?" She turned to look at him again. "Are you again getting interested in go?" She thought of his foldable go board that was collecting dust in the corner of his room. Or would have, if she hadn't wiped it clean every week.

"I've never stopped being interested in go, mom," Hikaru stated with some annoyance. "So, can you?"

"I don't know. I'd imagine. We can look into it when I'm finished."

"But you're not using the computer now…"

"When I'm finished, Hikaru."

That evening she found something called World Igo Net, and created an account for Hikaru, a little amused about her son's eagerness. The boy hadn't been playing for three years and now he wanted to play against people all around the world? She shook her head a little, but figured he might have come up with worse ways to spend his time. So she left Hikaru to sit by her computer and headed to make supper for them, wondering as she went about the username he had chosen, sai. It sounded oddly familiar, where had she heard it before…?

A while later she took off her apron and shouted over her shoulder, "Supper's ready, Hikaru!" The boy had been wonderfully quiet, apparently completely absorbed in whatever he was doing. She wondered if he was still playing go, or if he had found something else on the internet. "Hikaru!" she repeated when there came no answer. "Did you hear me?"

Still the silence continued, and shaking her head she walked to the workroom. "Hikaru? Supper's ready," she said as she stopped by the door. To her surprise she saw the boy was still playing go. "Stop that and come to eat."

Hikaru shot her a glance out of the corner of his eye. "I can't stop now, mom," he said, sounding annoyed. "It's not a computer game, I'm playing against a person!"

"The food will get cold. Can't you resign?"

"What?" Now she got a glare. "I'm winning this game! Just a moment, mom, this is over in a minute."

It took in the end almost ten minutes for the game to end. Hikaru arrived to the kitchen, looking cheerful. His mother gave him a look. "So, did you win?"

"Yeah!" He sat happily down and grasped his chopsticks. "And that guy was pretty good, too!" He took the first bite and grimaced. "Mom, this is cold!"

"I told you it'd be getting cold if you don't come right away."

He grimaced again. "Next time tell me when the food's gonna be ready so I know not to start a new game."

"We always eat at the same time, Hikaru," his mother pointed out.

Hikaru said nothing. After the supper he made a beeline to the computer and logged back in. Mitsuko watched after him shaking her head. So he had won a game? Well, surely there were all kinds of players online. She was happy about it, though – winning might keep him interested in go, and that was a better hobby for him than many she would have thought might interest him.

-

_This is wonderful, Hikaru!_ Hikaru had seldom felt such excitement from Sai, he almost felt like if he turned to look, he might see someone standing behind his back, gripping eagerly his shoulders. _I don't even pretend to understand how all these great players can be within this box, but I'm so happy you found them! Can I play the next game?_

"You just played, it's my turn now," Hikaru muttered. "Take it easy."

_Can I get the next one after you, then?_

"If mom still let's us play," Hikaru promised, and got a surge of excitement and happiness as a reply.

Having just one computer was a bit of a pain, Hikaru soon concluded, especially since his mother needed it for her work. He tried to suggest getting a laptop of his own, but his mother just laughed at the idea. She promised Hikaru could play a game or two every evening – "it's not good for you to spend much time in front of the computer, anyway" – and that was it.

A game or two a day just wasn't enough, especially since Sai wanted to play too. And to crown it all, school started again, filling his supposedly idle hours with homework, and there was even less time for go than before. But one day when school was over Hikaru got an idea, and he sneaked into the computer classroom. The school had a grand total of two computers, but that was fine – he needed only one. He closed the door behind him, turned the computer on, and sat down stretching his fingers. "A few games here, a few at home, wouldn't that be great?" he whispered.

 _Are you sure this is ok?_ It was drizzling outside, and as usual the higher humidity made Sai's voice clearer to him. It also made him feel the doubt in his companion more strongly. _Shouldn't you ask someone?_

"It's fine! But if you don't want to play, you don't have to."

_Of course I want to play, Hikaru~!_

"Let's get started then," he grinned. "I take the first game, you get the next."

He logged in, and immediately they got a few game requests – they were beginning to get known across the internet. Hikaru eyed the names, chose one that was new to him, and the game was on.

A long while later a text flashed on the screen to tell him his opponent had resigned. "Yeah! One more victory!" Hikaru exclaimed and stretched. "Now Sai, it's your…"

The door opened and one of the school's teachers looked in, frowning as he saw the boy. "Shindou-kun? What are you doing here?"

"I… I just…"

"Do you have a permission to use the computer?" The man's frown deepened. "You shouldn't…"

"I was playing go, sensei!" Hikaru put in hurriedly. "That's all. I… I don't have anyone to play with and I heard you can play online, so I thought to check it out…" At Sai's urging he stood up and bowed. "I'm very sorry."

"Go?" The teacher walked to the computer and leaned closer to take a look, adjusting his glasses on his nose. "We'll, so it seems. And it looks like you won? Well, this is a surprise. I wouldn't have guessed that you of all our students would be interested in go." He laughed a little. "But you should still have asked for permission."

"I'm sorry," Hikaru repeated. "I'll go now…"

"No, no, wait." The teacher grasped another chair and drew it closer. "Why don't you play a game with me? We have a go program on this computer, here. So, let's play a game? I'm curious."

Hikaru sat back down. "Okay…"

 _Hikaru,_ Sai said very quietly. _Let me play this game._

"What? But…" Hikaru glanced at the teacher sitting beside him and shrugged. _Whatever. Your turn, anyway._

They hadn't played for long when Hikaru began to grow annoyed. He couldn't understand what Sai was doing – this man was an average player at best and they should have beaten him easily. The way Sai was playing it would soon take a miracle for them to win.

 _Trust me,_ _Hikaru_ , Sai whispered at one point when the boy's annoyance was beginning to leek to his face. _I have a reason to play like this._

Hikaru heaved out a big sigh. After a while he could see that there was no way they would anymore win this game. They played still a few moves, and then Sai whispered to him, _I think it's time for you to resign._

Hikaru sighed again. "I've lost," he mumbled quietly, not looking at his opponent. _Damn you, Sai_ , he thought to himself. _It's not fair that_ I _have to say it when it's_ you _who lost…_

"Thank you for the game." The man sounded quite pleased. "That was a good game, Shindou-kun. I'm quite happy we have a promising go-player like you in our school. Have you thought about playing in tournaments?"

"No," Hikaru answered truthfully.

"Well, you should. As I said, this was a very good game. Would you like to discuss it, so we could go through what little mistakes you made?"

"No thanks," Hikaru said. He well knew what mistakes had been made in that game. The whole game was one big mistake. "Mom must be waiting for me. I didn't tell her I wouldn't come straight home from school."

"It's best for you to go then. For the future, _ask,_ before you do something like this, alright? And remember to tell your mother too. Now, you said you have no one to play with? I can arrange for you to play games here sometimes, after school, if this room is not in other use. And perhaps we can play again on some day?"

"Yes, sure." Hikaru smiled a little weakly. "Thanks." He left quickly.

"What was that about, Sai?" he muttered angrily as he started walking toward home. "Why did you play like that?"

_That man wasn't such a bad player. He would have realized there is something strange going on, if a self-taught boy like you could beat him so easily. This is safer._

"Safer?" Hikaru snorted. "I think you're being paranoid. So what if he'd have thought I'm some go genius? I mean, I _am_ a go genius, right? Why not let the world know?"

Sai was silent. The air felt somehow colder than before, even the water's voice was quiet, as if holding its breath. Then, _It's too early for that_ , Sai said, and something in his voice made Hikaru swallow his objections. They walked home in silence after that.

Getting to play at school wasn't a bad deal, even if Hikaru had to play some occasional bad games against the teacher. He told his mother he was taking part in after school activities, in a go club, which he thought was quite true – so what if he was the only one in the club. A couple of hours of go after school and then some more at home did take quite a lot of time from homework, though, and at some point his mother suggested that perhaps he wouldn't need to be quite so active with his "after-school activities". As Hikaru carried on as before she took a different approach and limited his go time home to half an hour – "and only after homework is done!" – which was slightly annoying. Still, better than nothing.

Being able to play more games online made Hikaru and Sai's common reputation spread even faster, and now their account was flooding with game requests every time they logged in. Their opponents were a varied lot, some of them clearly still beginners (why do these people want to play against _us_ , Hikaru would wonder, and, they want to learn – play a teaching game, Sai would reply), but some of them were quite excellent players. Still, Sai never lost a single of his games, and after a short while Hikaru became quite as undefeatable as him, winning also against those few players who had managed to beat him in the very beginning.

One day after school Hikaru once again logged into his account on the World Igo Net, and grimaced at the flood of requests. "This is getting ridiculous," he remarked to Sai as he kept on declining one request after another. "And the names these people use! How do they come up with them?" He clicked a button to decline yet another game, and eyed the list of users online. "So, it's your turn to start. Who do you want to play?"

_All the same to me! Just pick one of them already!_

"Okay, so I'll take one by lot…" Hikaru closed his eyes and moved the cursor across the screen. "So…" he opened his eyes, "what about this 'akira'?" He grinned. "Now, _that_ name's so ordinary it's almost boring."


	3. Interlude: Akira

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a very, very short chapter, yes I know, in fact I'm not sure if it's actually a chapter at all, but I just wanted to have some Akira in the story, and I decided it's best to post this separately. In the next chapter we return to Hikaru.

**Interlude: Akira**

Touya Akira had first heard of sai at his father's go salon. He hadn't paid much attention to it then, for although he had at times dabbled in net go, he preferred having real stones in his hands and opponents whose faces he could see, and he wasn't interested in some anonymous net players. And he knew how easily excited some of the patrons were – surely they would shortly find something else over which to obsess.

Next time he heard the name at the Ki'in when he was going to his father's study group – some insei were talking about this mysterious net player. Once again he walked by without giving it a second thought. When he ran across the name for the third time, though, it made a more lasting impression on him: Ichiryu-sensei and Zama-sensei were talking about sai as they came out of the elevator, and from the sound of it, Ichiryu-sensei had lost his game against this sai.

In addition to that, the people at his father's go salon were still talking about sai although nearly a month had passed. If anything, their obsession had just grown. So, he figured, it might be interesting to check out this sai one of these days.

And so, one day, he was sitting by his computer and watching how sai annihilated one opponent after another, and all he could think of was 'his game is beautiful!' He logged in (after he remembered his password, which did take a while) and asked for a game, but was declined. After that he stood back, just watching, until one day sai suddenly asked _him_ for a game.

He was home alone. He had nowhere to go. The timing couldn't have been better. And, he knew, even if the timing had been worst possible, he would still have played this game.

-

"That was a fun game," Hikaru stated quietly in the computer class of Kanba elementary school. Akira had lasted longer than many – he was clearly a good player – but even he had to resign in the end. But it wasn't just his skill that Hikaru was talking about.

_He played very inspiring go_ , Sai agreed with him. _I wouldn't mind playing against him again some day._

Hikaru sat silently, watching the screen and the finished game. _Hikaru?_ Sai asked. _It's your turn to play._

"Oh? Oh, yes." The boy seemed to awaken from deep thoughts. "Sure. So, let's see, hmm… Zelda? Okay, I think I'll play him." Hikaru started a new game, and the one Sai had played with akira disappeared from the screen.

-

So, Akira thought after he was through revising the game for the third time, this 'sai' truly lived up to his reputation. He could understand why everyone was obsessing about his identity so. He wouldn't have minded finding out who sai was, himself. A pro? With his skills nothing else made sense, but he couldn't think of anyone who would be so strong. Strong enough that he wasn't sure if even his father would be able to win…

He wondered if his father knew about sai, and if he did, if he had ever watched sai's games. He thought about what an incredible game it would be if his father and sai were ever to play, and shuddered a little. He was, almost, happy that his father never played net go. The idea of that game was frightening.

He was very quiet that evening, and once he went to bed it took him long to fall asleep.

Next day when Akira woke up the first thing in his mind was sai. He thought about sai as he dressed up and ate his breakfast, couldn't really shake him off even during the game he played with his father. sai followed him to school and preoccupied his thoughts throughout the lessons, and as he left from school he was wondering how sai would have responded to his moves, if he had played some parts just a _little_ differently.

He didn't go to his father's go salon this time as he usually did after school, but headed straight to the Ki'in. If, he figured, anyone had any idea of who sai truly was it would be someone there. He had no luck, though. He spoke with professionals, with staff, with editors of Go Weekly (who would have just _loved_ to find out who sai was), but no one had a clue, and in the end he had to return home, having learned nothing. Apparently all he could do was just to swallow his disappointment and, together with the rest of the world, hope sai would reveal himself some day. And after all, he told himself, what did it matter who sai was? They were still able to play go against him (or her?) online. That had to be enough.

-

"Look, there's that 'akira' again. Want to play him or someone new this time?"

-

As days rolled by, turning into weeks and then months, Akira was able to play against sai a few more times. Every day after school he hurried to a nearby internet café, instead of his father's go salon where he was seen only rarely these days, for sai was usually online at that time (and when he thought what _that_ might mean, he couldn’t help feeling a surge of surely misplaced excitement – a player like sai simply couldn’t be a schoolchild. Still, every now and then he did allow himself to dream.) He followed all the games he could, and when sai wasn't playing he studied countless game records. To his joy he had found a site online that had collected pretty much all sai's records, also from the early days when he didn't yet know of sai. He had a big bunch of them printed out in his room, neatly organized in folders for easy reviewing. And it was those old records that confused him.

"It's very peculiar," he told his father one evening when they had finished the dinner and his mother was cleaning the table. "Some of the games he played back then, although they were certainly excellent games too, were clearly weaker than his other games. It's almost as if… as if there had been two players then, and sometimes it feels like there _still_ are, but it's frightening enough to think that there's _one_ strong player like that, but if there are two…"

"Akira," his father said, but he didn't hear, eyes fixed into distance, as if he were trying to see through time and space and catch a glimpse of this "ghost in the net", as some had (half) jokingly called sai.

"I was thinking that maybe a student and a teacher, for their styles really are awfully similar, but even so, the student is learning too fast, much too fast, and I just…"

"Akira." The word was sharper, heavier, and now it got his attention.

"Yes, father?"

Touya Kouyou sighed. "I have been thinking," he said slowly, carefully, "that you spend too much time obsessing about this sai. I have seen his games, I know his strength, and I can understand why he enthralls you so, but you're overdoing it. You should stay away from him, at least for a while. It is not good to concentrate like that on the games of just one single player. Besides… I don't deny it that there is, potentially, much we all could learn from him, but there is something shady about a man who hides his identity like this, and something even shadier about his strength. I can't help feeling that this secret is best left unrevealed."

"But, father…" he tried to put in, but his father raised a hand, cutting him off.

"You have your future, your own career to think of. Concentrate on that, on the real, flesh and blood opponents who face you across a go board. It is with them you can find true go. Leave this ghost for others to chase."

"Yes father," Akira said quietly, watching his hands. Father had a point, he thought. Maybe he really was carrying his obsession too far. He had even been dreaming just about sai and his games nearly every night for a while. But even as he decided he would from now on try to avoid sai and net go, he knew it wouldn't be easy for him to ignore the existence of such a player.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Should I have written more about the game? I thought about it, but writing go games is not my strong point... and somehow, in this case, the game just didn't want to be written.


	4. Chapter 3: Tokyo

**Chapter 3: Tokyo**

One weekend, as the year was nearing its end, Hikaru's father came again to visit them. Hikaru was happily playing go on his mother's computer while his parents had a long talk. He had been able to play two games completely unbothered when his father's voice called for him. He was just about to start a new game, but the tone of the voice told him that he'd better put it off for a moment.

"Hikaru," his father said as he entered the room. "We have been talking about you two moving to Tokyo."

Hikaru stopped at the doorway, hovering there, hesitant. His mother looked at him and her eyes were dry, but he could smell tears in the air, and he was quite certain it wasn't his father who had cried.

"We haven't quite reached an agreement yet, though," his father went on, sounding displeased. "And so we thought that perhaps you could come to spend some time in Tokyo during the winter break. We could spend the New Year there. How would you like that?"

 _That_ caught Hikaru's attention. "New Year at Tokyo?"

"It's true that everything's been going quite well for a long while," Mitsuko said quietly. "This would be a good test. Maybe we really could move to Tokyo when you start middle school."

Hikaru stood still, thinking. Move to Tokyo, to stay? He thought about what he knew about the city (which wasn't much, and mainly based on movies and manga): towering buildings, bright lights, hordes of people and cars. Then he thought about their little house, the town, the forest in which he and Akari at times played – and he thought of Akari, and all the people he knew, and all the people in Tokyo he _didn't_ know, and who didn't know him, and who would find his hands freaky.

"Yeah," he said finally. "I guess it'd be a good test."

"So, it's decided!" Masao said, standing up as if they were going to leave right away. He smiled at his son. "I'm sure you'll love Tokyo. You can't even imagine how different it is from this place. And," he went on, turning to Mitsuko, "if you were to move there, I could supervise his studies myself. If his grades stay like this in middle school, he won't ever make it into high school! You must have been too lax with him."

Mitsuko was shaking her head. "I doubt he would have done any better in Tokyo. He just isn't interested in anything but go these days."

"Umm," Hikaru said. He didn't want to listen to this conversation. "I'm gonna go back to play."

As he left the room, he heard his mother's voice behind his back. "See? It's all but impossible to keep him away from the game." He didn't listen to his father's reply. Sitting down by the computer he stared at its screen where the screensaver was making wavy patterns, at the same time excited and oddly anxious.

 _Your mother seemed somehow distressed_ , Sai pointed out. As Hikaru said nothing, he went on, _I just wonder why? My mother would have been overjoyed if my father had invited her to live in his mansion… and your father doesn't even have other wives, does he? Your mother is truly in a happy position!_

Hikaru sighed. "I've no clue what you're talking about, Sai," he muttered and started a new game.

…

A couple of weeks later they arrived to Tokyo. They were going to stay at his father's small apartment, nowadays, luckily, a little bigger than a simple studio, for that would have become quite crowded. Even so, Hikaru could sense that Sai was not overly impressed.

"Not exactly a mansion," Hikaru whispered to him, amused. "What did you expect?"

 _The times, of course, are different,_ Sai stated diplomatically. _This is a very… nice… apartment._

Hikaru shot a look around the room. His father really hadn't seen the need to get any more furnishings that absolutely necessary. "Is not," he stated dryly. But that didn't matter. It wasn't for the apartment that they were there. A week in Tokyo! That was something.

No movie or manga would ever do justice to Tokyo, Hikaru concluded quite soon. One had to experience the skyscrapers, the masses, the jungle of lights to really understand it. The first time his father took him sightseeing, he was a little overwhelmed, but the feeling disappeared soon, giving way to excitement. So much to see and explore! And so he started exploring, and within the first two days managed to lose his parents three times. His mother was beginning to despair, trying to make him understand that a big city like this could be dangerous, and his father strictly told him that if he got lost one more time, he'd spend the rest of the trip in the little apartment – with no access to net go.

"It's not my fault, really," Hikaru muttered to Sai, annoyed. "The waters flow all wrong here!"

 _I know_ , Sai agreed. _It is often like that in big cities, these days. But that means your parents are right. We need to be more careful when we can't count on the water to guide us_.

"Annoying," Hikaru stated. This was a side of Tokyo he didn't like – there was nothing natural about the movement of the water in the ground. There _was_ water, quite a lot of water, flowing around everywhere in the city, but its directions made no sense. Back at home he was able to feel from the ground where he was, but here the water _misled_ him, and that was quite disturbing.

 _With time, we might learn_ , Sai said. _But for now, let's be careful._

"Alright then," Hikaru sighed. And the very next day they got lost again.

.

"It's all your fault," Hikaru muttered as they vainly tried to spot his father in the crowd on the busy street.

 _My fault? How can it be_ my _fault that you lost him again?_

"I just stopped cause you were so excited about those stupid fake fishes!" Hikaru exclaimed aloud and got weird looks from the passers-by. He waved toward a shop window where a bunch of mechanical fishes were swimming around in an aquarium.

_But… but even so, you could have…_

"Well, whatever." Hikaru stood on his toes in a vain attempt to see farther. "It's _his_ fault, really. He should have kept an eye on me and not the other way round."

_It's probably because of that phone call he got. Why are they calling him from work if he has vacation?_

"How should I know?" Hikaru sighed. "Let's wait here, I'm sure he comes back when he notices I'm missing."

Time passed. Hikaru watched the passing people, beginning to grow bored, when Sai suddenly exclaimed, _Look, Hikaru!_

"What?" Hikaru shot a glance around. "Is it dad?"

_Up there! Look up there! See that sign?_

It took Hikaru a moment to realize what Sai was talking about.

"Go, huh," he said then.

 _There's a go salon!_ Sai's excitement was enough to make his palms itch. _Let's go to take a look!_

"I'm not sure if it's a good idea. Dad might come back soon…"

 _Yes_ … Sai paused. _But… just a quick peek?_

Hikaru rolled his eyes and said nothing. Even so, his eyes kept on wandering to the sign.

"What's taking him so long," he finally muttered. "This is ridiculous."

He stared at the sign. "Oh well. He's probably mad at us what ever we do. And if we're gonna spend the rest of the week grounded anyway, better to take this chance, right?"

Sai was practically bubbling with joy in his mind as he started walking toward the sign.

The go salon was in the eighth floor. Hikaru paused at the door – it was his first time in such place, and his eyes wandered across the room. Mainly old geezers, he noted a little disappointedly. The only woman in the room was the one standing behind a desk. She was giving him a wide smile.

"Welcome! First time here?"

"First time in a place like this," Hikaru answered. "Can anyone play here?"

"Sure! I just need your…"

"Hey look, there's a kid there!" Hikaru exclaimed, not listening to her. He started walking past her, and she was waving frantically, trying to get his attention.

"It's 500Y for children," she called. _That_ did catch Hikaru's attention.

"What?" he stopped to give her a stunned look. "I have to _pay_?" He patted his pockets. If he counted all his coins, he thought, he might have – barely – three hundred. "Umm…"

The other boy had walked to them. "It's his first time here, so why don't you let him come free?" he said with a smile at the woman, who practically swooned at him.

"Whatever you say, Akira-kun," she said in voice so sweet Hikaru gave her a weird look.

 _Akira-kun_ , he heard Sai echoing the woman and turned back to the boy.

 _A coincidence_ , Hikaru thought back at him, but gave the boy a long, estimating look, nevertheless.

"I'm Shindou Hikaru," he introduced himself with a bright smile. "And you…"

"Touya Akira. Nice to meet you." The boy was smiling politely to him now, but somehow, Hikaru thought, the smile didn't quite reach his eyes. "So, you play go?" Akira went on, and kept on smiling as Hikaru nodded. "That's great. We don't really see children here too often."

"I guess. So, can we play?"

"Sure." Akira led him to a free board. "How many stones do you want?"

Hikaru raised his eyebrows at him. Then he grinned. "To be honest, I think that's my question."

Akira looked a little taken aback, but only momentarily. "Let's play an even game, then?" he suggested.

They chose for color, and Hikaru got black. When he picked his first stone to play, he noticed the slightest frown on Akira's face, but it disappeared soon.

 _You should learn how to hold the stones properly_ , Sai told him.

_Yeah, sure. Some day._

It was clear that Akira didn't quite take him seriously from the beginning. Or… that was wrong, Hikaru realized as he watched his opponent – he got a feeling that this boy was unable _not_ to take anything go related seriously. But he had started the game most likely thinking he would be playing a teaching game. Hikaru grinned inwardly.

Well, if a teaching game was what he wanted, he'd get one.

 _Don't be nasty now,_ Sai chided him, but he didn't dignify that with a reply.

It was almost amusing to watch Akira's face during the game. It didn't take the boy long to realize that his opponent indeed was skilled. Hikaru could easily spot the moment he understood _he_ was the one being taught.

 _Hikaru… take it easy_ , Sai said again. _Don't play too good a game._

_You're getting boring, Sai. Why not? He's just a kid, like me – why would it be weird if I won?_

_You know he's not 'just a kid,_ Sai said sharply, and Hikaru paused.

It was true that this boy's game really was good. Of course, Hikaru couldn't quite know on what level children of his age usually played – and many of his online opponents had been clearly stronger than Akira… but even so.

 _Too late for that_ , he just thought. _He knows already I'm playing shidougo with him._

The game went on in silence. Akira's eyes never left the board, but Hikaru found himself observing his opponent more closely than the game.

 _Akira,_ he thought. _His play is familiar. Do you think… should we ask him if he plays net go?_

 _What if he asks you if you play?_ Sai replied quietly.

Hikaru bit his lip. He looked at the board, and the game that was getting close to its end. _I… don't know. What should we do?_

What should he do _if_ this was the 'akira' from net go, and _if_ he realized he was playing against 'sai'?

Two pretty big ifs, Hikaru thought to himself, and tried to push the thought away. Even so he found himself playing moves that were not typical to him, just to mislead his opponent. But what would it matter _if_ both of those ifs are correct, he asked himself, and had no reply. Somehow he still was nervous, suddenly feeling the surroundings quite clearly. The water. In the tea the players were drinking. In the pipes in the walls.

 _Sai_ , he thought sharply. _Is that you? Stop it, you're making me nervous._

 _I'm sorry, Hikaru_ , Sai whispered back to him. _I can't help it. You mustn't let anyone find out about us._

_Why?_

_Because… because it could be dangerous._ Sai sounded genuinely worried, and that confused Hikaru. What was there in a young kid to scare a spirit?

 _You're being silly, Sai_ , he informed his companion, but even so he shuddered a little, feeling the tension in the air.

And the water. The water. The water in the air, in the people around him, in the bonsai tree on a nearby table. He all but shivered, feeling it course through his own veins, the pull of it in _Akira's_ veins…

He took a deep breath. "Dad," he muttered, a sudden thought coming to his mind. He stood up so suddenly his chair almost fell. "I need to go. Dad's waiting."

And he ran away, leaving Akira stare after him, stunned.

He was lucky. The elevator was in the right floor. He rushed in, pushed the ground floor button. As the doors were closing he heard running steps, a voice calling him. "Shindou! Shindou-kun! Are you…"

The door closed, cutting off the rest of the sentence.

He kept on running as they came down. After a while, as his side was beginning to hurt nastily, he slowed down, and as he glanced over his shoulder and saw no one following them finally stopped.

"Sai," he muttered under his breath, " _what_ was that about? It's not like you to panic like that!"

 _I'm sorry_ , was all his companion had to say.

After that he went into a store, asked to borrow a phone to call his father, who was _not_ pleased when he arrived. Still, he admitted that this time he was just as much at fault as Hikaru, and said nothing about the threat of being grounded.

 _I think he has something else on his mind_ , Sai pointed out, as Hikaru whispered to him how lucky they were. As it was, his father had barely reprimanded him. They met his mother at a café – she had been doing some shopping of her own – and Sai's observation turned out to be true.

"I got a call from my boss," Masao said as he and Hikaru sat down with their coffee and hot chocolate, respectively. "I know this is a short notice, but we've been invited to a New Year's party. He'd somehow heard you're here, and he said he wanted to take this chance to 'meet my family'."

"Oh dear." Mitsuko was grasping her tea with both hands, looking a little stunned. "I'm not sure if I have anything suitable to wear…"

"That dress you took with in the case we go to a restaurant should be fine enough," Masao said dismissively. "I'm more worried about…" he glanced at his son who met his gaze with a clueless look and a chocolate moustache.

"What?" Hikaru blinked. Then he caught on. "It sounds boring anyway. Do I have to come?"

"We were all invited. It would be rude if you didn't come."

Hikaru grimaced, and Masao turned to look at his wife. "See? Do you think he can behave himself?"

"Of course I can!" Hikaru exclaimed.

"He can," Mitsuko said evenly. "But… do they know about his…" She left the sentence hanging.

"They know he has a medical condition. I haven't really told anyone the details. But it shouldn't be a big deal."

"If you say so." Mitsuko sipped her tea, looking doubtful.

…

So, a couple of days later, Hikaru found himself dressed up more fancily than ever before. His mother had even bought him a tie. It was tight around his neck, and every time she looked away he tried to pull it a little looser.

Sai was sympathetic. _The clothes of your era_ , he stated, _really look uncomfortable. So… tight._

 _Tell me about it_ , Hikaru thought at him darkly. This wasn't how he had dreamed about spending the New Year in Tokyo. Well, he wasn't exactly sure what he had thought they'd do – there would be fireworks, that he knew – but a boring cocktail party hadn't been an option in his mind. At least the food in the buffet was good and no one stared too openly at his hands. _And_ his father's boss's house might have been a bit closer to what Sai meant with a 'mansion', what came to that. Not a bad place. He hoped he'd be able to do some exploring at some point.

 _Perhaps_ , Sai told him. _But remember, we're quests here. You can't just do whatever you want to._

 _Yeah, yeah, I know._ Hikaru was clearly paying more attention to his food than in what was being said to him.

Hikaru wasn't the only youngster in the room. His father's boss had apparently decided that this was a good time to get to know not just Masao's family, but quite many others as well. Though, as Sai noted to Hikaru who wasn't listening, he didn't seem to be spending much time 'getting to know' that many people.

"This is an important chance for me," Masao had impressed on them before the party. "I've never before been invited to my boss's home before. This is a _sophisticated_ party, and you need to be on your best behavior." Technically he was talking to both Hikaru and Mitsuko, but his eyes had been dwelling on his son.

"Sure, dad," Hikaru had said lightly, his mind wandering somewhere far away, and Sai had sighed, deciding that he would do his best to chaperone the boy. So far, so good. People certainly did give the boy some odd glances at times, both at his hands and at his hair, and every now and then Mitsuko had to tell him in sharp whisper not to stuff himself at such rate, but at least the boy hadn't done or said anything rude. So far. It probably did help that most of the time his mouth was full of food.

 _Hikaru_ , Sai chided him as he headed toward the buffet one more time. _Haven't you had enough yet?_

_This is good. What'd you know? You don't need to eat._

_Even so. Look, there are some other boys talking in that corner. Why don't you go to talk with them?_

Hikaru shot a look to the direction Sai indicated. _I don't know. I'm not sure if I have much to say to them._

_Don't be such a hermit, Hikaru! Come now, you can always try!_

"Whatever." Hikaru approached the boys slowly, but stopped soon, hesitating. The boys, three of them, were all older than him. They were talking about computer games, or PlayStation, maybe, he wasn't quite sure. He stood there and listened, and thought it did actually sound kind of fun. Maybe he should ask for PlayStation for his next birthday.

Sai felt doubtful. _Do you think one can play go on it?_ he asked

Hikaru shrugged. _No clue. But it could be fun to play something else, too._

Now one of the boys had noticed him hovering behind them, and turned to look at him.

"Hey," he said. "I don't remember seeing you before. I'm Morioka."

"Narita," said another. The third one, youngest, stared at him a moment.

"Isobe," he said then. A short while Hikaru wondered why the name sounded familiar; then he realized it was his father's boss's name.

"Shindou Hikaru," he said, bowing his head a little.

"So, I take it your father works for my father," Isobe said, and Hikaru disliked him immediately. Not for the words themselves, but the way he said it, literally looking at him down his nose. "What does he do?"

"He…" Hikaru paused. What _did_ his father do? He didn't have a clue. "Oh, he's got an important position. He's been awfully busy lately – I don't wanna brag, but his work is vital for the company."

 _Hikaru…_ Sai said in a slightly reproachful tone.

The boy was still staring at him with this slightly haughty look on his face, when his eyes fell on Hikaru's hands and he frowned

"What's the matter with your hands?"

All three were staring at them, and Hikaru too glanced at his hands self-consciously. "It's… it's just some kind of syndactyly, that's all." From the looks of the boys he figured they didn't know the word, but he wasn't about to start explaining. Their problem.

"We were just talking of our favorite games," Morioka said after a while. "You like gaming?"

Hikaru shrugged. "Dunno. I don't really play other games than go."

"Go?" For the fist time there was something akin to interest in Isobe's eyes. " _You_ play go?"

The way he said it, skepticism clear in his voice, made Hikaru find him even more annoying.

"Yeah," he said with a tilt of his head. "Why not?"

"You just… didn't seem the type. Have you played long?"

"A few years. So, you play too?"

"Yes." Isobe was still watching him with a long, evaluating look, as if trying to figure out whether or not this conversation was worth carrying on. "I do," he said then, apparently deciding on the former.

Hikaru grinned. The guy couldn't be a total idiot, he figured, if he played go. "That's great! I don't know many kids of our age that play. Actually, just one."

"Oh?" Isobe raised his eyebrows at him. "Your school doesn't have a go club then?"

"Well… no." Hikaru didn't quite feel like starting to explain where he was from and what his school was like. He didn't know for sure, but he had a feeling that a single class in a school around here would have almost as many students as his school had altogether. "But I just met someone the other day," he went on, wishing to change the subject. "A guy called Touya Akira. It was fun playing with him." _Until someone freaked out_ , he added in his mind, and felt mild embarrassment from Sai.

A sneer flashed on Isobe's face. "Touya Akira? You played against him? Must have been sheer slaughter."

"What?" Hikaru gave him a surprised look. "Why? He played pretty well!"

"Pretty well?" Isobe laughed out loud, a short, bitter bark. "Are you just stupid or are you trying to brag? I've played that guy and I…" He paused.

"Wow," Narita exclaimed. "I didn't know you've played with Touya Akira! Did you win?"

Isobe's face was very blank. "Not… quite. But anyway, the point is that I _know_ the level of his go, and if you think you're impressing me when you say he played 'pretty well', as if you had won against him or something, you…"

"But I did win," Hikaru put in. Well, technically the game remained unfinished, but he most definitely could not have lost.

Isobe paused, stared at him. "You expect me to believe that?"

"I don't really expect anything," Hikaru said, frowning and beginning to grow annoyed again. "But I won."

"That," Isobe said with emphasis, "is just about as likely as your dad being of any importance. I'd know his name if he were. And I'd sure as hell know _your name_ if you were good enough to beat Touya Akira!" he all but yelled.

 _I told you Akira is not 'just a kid',_ Sai stated. Hikaru wasn't listening.

"Just cause _you_ lost to him doesn't mean no one else would be able to beat him either! Who do you think you are, some kinda go champion?"

"He _is_ the child meijin," Narita pointed out, giving him a contemptuous look.

"So? That's supposed to impress me or something?"

"You…"

"Hey, hey, calm down!" Morioka stepped between them as Narita took a step forward. "No need to start fighting here!"

"True," Isobe said, face calm again. "I don't want to cause a scene at father's party. But if you'll come with me, we can play a game. Someone needs to show this brat his place."

"Who's the brat here?" Hikaru retorted, but followed him.

They left behind the noise of the party and, passing through a hall and a stairway, reached a small study. Isobe took out a go board and sat down. Without waiting for invitation Hikaru took a chair and sat too.

"Shall we choose for color, or will you just take black?" Isobe asked. Hikaru rolled his eyes.

"Believe me, it makes no difference."

Isobe shrugged and gave black to him. _No use to tell me play nice now,_ Hikaru thought to Sai as he took the first stone.

Sai sighed. _I can see that_ , he just said.

Hikaru played his first move, and Isobe snorted at the way he held the stone. "Someone who claims to have beaten Touya Akira doesn't know how to hold the stones properly?"

Hikaru glared daggers at him. "You'd better pay more attention to my moves than to how I play them."

A tiny smile tugged Isobe's lips at that as he played his first move.

As the game proceeded, Hikaru gradually calmed down. He didn't lose his anger, but it turned, changed, from frothing like a sea in storm to an ice-cold determination. This would not be a long game.

After a few moves Hikaru was inwardly shaking his head. _What was this guy doing, talking so big? He's nowhere near to Touya's level!_

 _But still he is very good for his age,_ Sai said. Hikaru frowned, disbelieving. _As I keep on telling you,_ Sai went on, sounding a little exasperated, _Touya Akira is_ not _just any kid._

Hikaru glanced at his opponent. Isobe was good enough to realize the game was not going well for him. He kept on trying, strained with each move to gain more territory, but no matter what he did, a wall of black stones rose in front of him.

So this was the level kids play at their best, Hikaru thought wonderingly. Now he understood better why Sai claimed people would find his skills so impossible.

This guy, he mused thoughtfully, wasn't half as good as Touya, but acted as if he were the best player in the world. Touya, on the other hand, had started playing a gentle teaching game with him, without a word of his own skills. Not to mention that his go was simply much more… inspirational. Isobe simply pursued territory with single-minded determination, seemingly unable to be imaginative with new moves when he faced new situations. A couple of times Hikaru made some tests, playing a stone just to see how he'd respond, and each time he guessed right where his opponent would play.

While Hikaru grew calmer, Isobe was growing clearly more and more shaken. His hands shook a little, and his eyes kept on darting frantically between Hikaru and the board. "Is _this_ why you've done nothing about those hands?" he suddenly shrieked. Hikaru could just blink at him, failing to understand where _that_ came from.

Isobe sat back, glowering at him. "They're freaky," he muttered. "Just freaky. You want to unsettle your opponents, don't you? And maybe you can use that extra skin to hide what you're really doing!"

Hikaru kept on staring at him, wide eyed. "What?"

"Like here!" Isobe pointed at a white stone on the board. "I'm sure I didn't play there! You've moved that, haven't you?"

" _What?_ " Hikaru repeated, eyes flaring. "Don't blame your stupid moves on me! I don't _cheat_!"

 _Hikaru does_ not _cheat!_ Sai echoed him, for the first time sounding genuinely angry.

"Did you notice anything?" Isobe asked his friends. Morioka was shaking his head, looking troubled, but Narita nodded eagerly.

"I'm sure the stone was somewhere here, closer to these stones," he said, pointing.

"That'd be even stupider move!" Hikaru snapped. "Look, I don't have to cheat to win against someone like you! You're just a sore loser, aren't you?"

" _Cheater_." Isobe spat the word out. "A freaky cheater, that's all you are. I can't believe father's let someone like you into our home. Say, is your dad too…"

"You shut up!" Hikaru stood up, slamming his palms against the table so that the go stones jumped. The anger was back, the frothing sea, and like Sai's fear during the game with Touya, it brought heightened sensations with it. He glared at the boy on the other side of the table, and almost could see the water in him. A moment he thought of just _drawing_ it all out, and hopefully all go with it – for water, like go, was something too pure for this brat. He opened his mouth, but right then something slammed into him, _within_ him, and he gasped a breath, stumbling.

_Hikaru, stop!_

"But I…" he breathed, straightening his back to look at the boy who was watching him with a glare.

 _No, listen to me. Ignore that boy, do you hear me! Hikaru!_ Something shook him again, but not so strongly. _Get out. Just_ get out _!_

"Is something wrong with you?" Morioka, who was watching him worriedly. Hikaru turned and ran.

.

"I can't believe I've ran away from _two_ go games now because of you," he said aloud to Sai. After some aimless wandering he had managed to find a door that led into a garden. He was now hunching down by a small fountain, listening to its rippling.

_That game was over long before you left._

"Even so! What was that about? I wanted to… wanted to…"

_Yes?_

Hikaru said nothing.

 _You don't understand,_ Sai went on. _The power you have within you, it is strong enough to kill. You must not use it in anger._

Hikaru frowned. "Kill? But I was just… just…" He paused. What _had_ he been planning to do? He wasn't sure. He shuddered a little. "He just made me so mad," he muttered.

_That's understandable. But…_

A voice cut him off. "So here you are!"

Hikaru glanced over his shoulder and saw Isobe together with his two friends.

"You're not supposed to be here. Get back in. I'm going to tell father I want you to leave."

Hikaru laughed out. "And your daddy let's you decide who can stay in his party and who not?"

"When I tell him you cheated in go he'll throw you out himself."

Hikaru stood up slowly and turned to look at them. "You're pathetic," he spat out. "Just pathetic. I'm happy to leave this place and I don't ever want to come back." He felt the anger again, but this time he concentrated on the water behind his back, determined to keep his emotions in check.

Isobe, turning to go, gave him a sidelong, expressionless look. "That's good. I doubt your father's coming back again, either. Actually, I'm going to make sure that _my_ father will…"

Hikaru didn't listen to the end. He was in the water of the fountain, in the cold, clear water, as cold and clear as his anger. He felt the water surge up and he _struck_ , hard and with good aim, the retreating boy's words a meaningless mumble in his ears. Morioka had time to glance back and he opened his mouth to shout a warning, but too late. A pillar of water rose from the fountain, high into the air, and suddenly it flew forward over Hikaru's head, hitting Isobe's back with strength. The boy flew forward of the impact and fell down, and a moment just lay there while everyone stared in silence. Then he wailed, long and high, and Narita rushed to him.

"Isobe! Are you okay?"

The boy kept on crying and calling for his parents, and anxious voices carried from the inside. Morioka stared at Hikaru, who gave him an expressionless look and started walking away, leaving the scene in silence.

…

Later that night when the three of them had returned to their little apartment, Hikaru was lying on the bed that had been made for him on the couch, listening to his parents' voices. They were sitting in the kitchen, talking quietly, and he couldn't separate the words, just the tone. Sai could have, possibly, told him what they were talking about, but he didn't want to ask.

The rest of the day had been, to say the least, interesting. Isobe's parents had rushed to the place together with most of the guests, and some wild accusations had been flying around – but honestly, wasn't it just ridiculous to claim that anyone could have caused the accident intentionally, made the water surge up like that?

No one had paid much attention to that claim, for it truly was much too crazy, and also the alleged cheating at go was at the moment ignored. Hikaru had followed the bustle from farther away. His parents came to him, said nothing, but he met his mother's eyes and saw the question in them. Grumpily he looked away, not volunteering any information, and he remained quiet all the way home.

He did feel a little guilty about it, though, once he found out that the surge of water had in fact been hard enough to crack two of Isobe's ribs. Sai said nothing, but he could feel a certain 'I did try to warn' sensation from him.

So what? Hikaru rolled over, drew the blanket to his ears. The boy was a jerk. He deserved it.

The kitchen door opened and someone entered the living room. He heard the footsteps approach and knew it was his father, both from the steps and the smell of his cologne.

"Hikaru?" Masao said quietly. "Are you asleep?"

A moment he considered just laying there, unmoving, hoping he'd go away. _You need to speak with them, sooner or later,_ Sai whispered to him.

He sighed. "No I'm not," he muttered, and rolled to his back. His father sat down next to him and stayed quiet for a moment.

"Hikaru," he said finally. "I'm sure that whatever happened there, it wasn't your fault."

Hikaru looked up at him, long and hard. "And what if it was?" he asked quietly.

Masao frowned. "It couldn't have been," he said, but his voice didn't sound completely certain. "That's impossible. But even if it... somehow… were…" He paused, stared somewhere into emptiness. "You were fighting with Isobe's son, weren't you?" he suddenly asked.

"Kind of," Hikaru admitted. "But it's not…"

"Not your fault, either? Perhaps. And I should have warned you – everyone knows he's a spoiled brat."

"He said I cheated at go," Hikaru said sullenly.

"I heard. Did you?"

"Of course not!" Hikaru bolted up. "I'd never cheat!"

If Masao was taken aback by the fire in his son's eyes, he didn't show it. "That makes me happy," he just said. "But if it's true – that you were able to beat my boss's son, that is… you must be pretty good at go. We've all heard more than we care about the boy's skills – though who knows, maybe he's not that great, after all. But I hear he did win some big competition…"

He frowned, looking at his son. Hikaru lay back down. "This is partly why I'd want you two to move to Tokyo," he said. "It's not just that I miss you and Mitsuko, but I feel like I barely know you at all."

Hikaru said nothing for a moment. "I don't think I want to move to Tokyo," he said then in a small voice. "I'm sorry. I don't… like it here." He would have given much if he could have lain then in his own bed in their little house, where waters flowed as they should and the air wasn't full of something he couldn't name but that got stuck in his throat and stung his eyes.

"Well, let's talk about that tomorrow," Masao said after a moment's silence. "Good night." He stood up.

"Dad?" Hikaru said quietly as he started to leave. "Is this going to cause trouble for you?"

He shot a glance at his son and shook his head with a tiny smile. "Don't worry about that. It's going to be alright."

A couple of days later Hikaru and Mitsuko were back at home. His father had asked him to consider the move with time, not to make any hasty decisions, and Hikaru had nodded, not telling him that he would not change his mind.

Next time he logged into to Net Go, 'akira' was there. A message flashed on his screen.

_Do you live in Tokyo?_

Hikaru just stared at it, doing nothing. After a while another message appeared. _Or were you just visiting? I think we met… Why did you run away like that?_

Hikaru reached toward the keyboard, but hesitated.

_I'd like to play with you again. A real game, not just net go. Could you come to the go salon again?_

_O_ _r, if you for some reason really don't want to come, could we at least play online?_

_Please?_

Hikaru clicked the browser close.

…

One night when school had again started and Hikaru was half-sprawling over his desk, supposedly doing his homework, his mind returned to the constant messages Akira was still sending. "You behaved so strangely in Tokyo, Sai," he stated. "With Touya, I mean. What made you so worried?"

_…I've told you before you should be careful not to let people know your true skill. Either with go or water._

"Yeah, so you have. But that's just silly! Why not? You think they'd be jealous or something?"

 _Maybe it is partly jealousy,_ Sai said, sounding thoughtful. _But above all… it's just dangerous._

"That's what you keep on saying! But _why_? You know Sai," Hikaru straightened his back and lowered the pen he had been twirling on the desk, "I think I'm going to send Touya a message and tell him that yeah, it was me."

_Hikaru…_

"Unless you can give some sensible reason not to!"

Sai was quiet a long while, so quiet and still Hikaru barely sensed him.

 _When people found out about my skills_ , he finally said, slowly, hesitantly, _it ended up with them thinking I'm some kind of a demon. I and my mother had to leave the capital – and she died – she was_ killed – _soon after that._

"I… I'm sorry," Hikaru said, a little stunned. He could still, after a thousand years, feel the pain in Sai. "I didn't know. You've never told me anything!"

 _Because you were so young,_ Sai whispered. _But maybe you're now old enough…_

"Of course I am!" Hikaru exclaimed, and felt Sai's laughter. "So, you'll tell me now?"

_After you've finished your homework._

"Sai! That's not fair!" Hikaru wailed, but Sai was adamant. Hikaru had no choice but to set intowork, and he was done with his math problems faster than ever before.

_I think you made a mistake in…_

"Who cares! I'm done." Hikaru snapped the book shut. "Start telling!"

And Sai did, of his life, of his mother and father, and the way he had spent most of his childhood shut into his mother's house. He told of the games he played when he left to explore the capital, and of the short, ill-fated visit at the palace. Hikaru grimaced as he told about his game with Sugawara no Akitada and its result.

"That guy's a jerk too," the boy said. "Just like Isobe."

 _A bit_ , Sai agreed. _But, you see, Hikaru, after that game we had no choice but to escape from the capital, go into a voluntarily exile. And very soon after we ran into bandits, and they killed my mother. And I_ , he added in a whisper, _killed them_.

Hikaru digested that for a moment. He found it a strange idea to think of _Sai_ killing anyone. But then again, if Sai hadn't been there to stop him, who knew what he would have done to Isobe? And Sai, at least, had a genuine reason to hate those men.

Feeling quite uneasy, he decided he didn't want to think about that any longer. "Is that when you… joined the water?"

_Yes. I had nothing else left._

Hikaru thought about it. That story truly did explain many things about Sai. "But even so," he said aloud, "times have changed. People don't believe in demons anymore. That's just silly! No one would try to drive us away from our home because of something like that!"

_Are you so sure about that? Times might change, the clothes people wear look different, but inside… are they that different inside?_

"It's been a thousand years," Hikaru said firmly. "Trust me. People aren't silly superstitious fools anymore."

 _No, they just are fools in general._ Sai sounded strangely sarcastic, perhaps even bitter. _A thousand years isn't as long a time as you might think. Besides, I've not finished the story yet._

Hikaru looked up, surprised. "You've not?"

_No. I haven't yet told you about Torajiro._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Isobe hideki, in the case you don't remember him, is that rather annoying kid from vol.18/ep.66 who goes out challenge Touya. Didn't turn out too well for him.
> 
> Next chapter is going to be interludish (but also, apparently, longer than I originally thought.) It might not be out before December, though, because, well. NaNo.


	5. Interlude: Torajiro

**Interlude: Torajiro**

_I told you I had met someone like us once before. That wasn't such a long time ago, either, just about hundred and fifty years or so…_

_That's not long?_

… _well, I guess everything's relative. Anyway, I found him totally by accident. Unlike you, I didn't know him from his birth and before – he was five years old when I met him. I hadn't been in that area, in Innoshima, for a long time, and I was examining the rivers and ponds there, finding some areas strangely changed. He was alone by the river bend, playing with water, making it swirl and foam. That's what drew me to him, and then I saw his hands, the same as mine and yours, and I can't tell you how thrilled I was. I was just about to greet him, when I heard voices approaching…_

.

"There! There he is, I can see him!"

"Torajiro! What are you doing there! Come here right now!"

The boy glanced behind. "Look, mother! Look what I can do!" He waved his hand above the water, and a whirl appeared in there, twirling faster and faster, reaching all the way to the bottom.

A hand grasped his shoulder and pulled him back. "Torajiro! When I tell you to come, you come! Do you understand?"

"But, mother…" The boy tried to pull himself free. "It's fun!"

The woman shot a troubled look toward the river. "I've told you you may not come here alone. Did you already forget?"

"No, mother, I…" The boy froze, staring into the water. Then he smiled. "Hi!"

"What?" The woman glanced around, obviously at a loss. "Torajiro, let's…"

"There's someone in the water! Can't you see, mother?"

"That's _enough_!" She started walking away, dragging the child after her. "Have I not told you stop telling such stories? What would your father say if he heard you!"

"But, mother, really…!"

_Shh,_ came a whisper from somewhere. _She won't believe you anyway. But don't worry about it; it can be our secret._

The boy looked up but saw no one. _Who are you?_ he asked quietly.

_My name is Sai,_ the voice replied. _And you are Torajiro, right?_

The boy nodded, smiling, and didn't seem to mind at all when his mother informed him he would have to stay the rest of the day in his room. After all, now he had company – company to play with. It was hard to say who was more delighted to find the other played go, the boy or the water spirit, and the kept on playing long into the night.

Later, as the boy lay still awake on his futon, wondering about his new friend, he whispered into the dark, "So what are you? A mizuchi?"

_Hardly, and that is good for you_ , the other answered laughing. _You wouldn't want to meet a water dragon._

"I would," the boy insisted. "Are you a kappa, then?"

There was a moment's indignant pause. _Kappa? Now, that is just… For one thing, my head is not filled with water. For another, I don't care for cucumbers._

"Then what are you?"

_I am the same as you. A child born of water._

Torajiro smiled into the dark.

...

_So you taught him too go?_

_We certainly played go. But I didn't have to teach him – much; he already knew the game. Just one year after I met him Lord Asano, the daimyo of the region, heard of him, played a game with him, and was impressed enough to allow Torajiro to study under his own personal trainer. And two years later, when he was eight years old, he was sent to Edo to join the Honinbo school. Edo… what they nowadays call Tokyo… was a much more pleasant place back then. And Torajiro received there the best teaching ordinary mortals could give him. Honinbo Shuwa-sama was an excellent player. I enjoyed my games with him very much._

_Did you ever tell him it wasn't just this, this Torajiro he was playing against?_

_Sai?_

...

When Torajiro was twelve years old, he was one day called to meet the head of the Honinbo house, Honinbo Josaku.

_What do you think it's about?_ he thought to his invisible companion.

_Who knows,_ Sai replied. _Perhaps the games you played when you were visiting your home…_

_You think?_ He didn't sound convinced.

_I don't think you realize just what an exceptional player you are¸_ Sai told him, but right then they reached the room where the Honinbo was waiting, and the boy didn't have a chance to reply.

Sai's guess had been correct. "Your games against Nakagawa Shunsetsu 5-dan were really quite remarkable. To think you won all four by resignation!"

"I had two stones in all the games," the boy stated, bowing his head.

"Even so. You are still a shodan – even with a two-stone handicap winning should have been hard enough for you. And Nakagawa-san himself said that he believed you would have won even if you just played black without handicap."

_Of course he would have won_ , Sai put in. _He would have won even if Nakagawa-san had the two stones!_

_Hush, Sai_. "Nakagawa-sensei is very kind," the boy said, bowing again.

"We have been talking about it," Josaku went on, "and we have decided that it is a high time for you to be promoted to 2-dan. In addition, you will change your name as befits your promotion and skill."

"I'm honored," was all the boy said, but he grimaced inwardly to his companion. _Why do I have to change my name_ again _? I like my current one._

_I still prefer Torajiro, though,_ Sai said, smile in the voice, and the boy tossed his head.

_That little child's name?_ When _will you stop using it?_ His tone, though, was amused, and Sai just laughed.

"Shusaku," Honinbo Josaku said, and the boy who at the moment was still called Yasuda Eisai by the world bowed.

"I am honored to take such a name," he repeated. He would have wanted to add, do I have to, but he knew better than that.

_It's a good name_ , Sai whispered to him. _Very profound. 'Skilful strategy.' Though, of course, totally unimaginative. Just combining the first part of Shuwa's name to the end of his own! Why can't people come up with new names? I think I'll stick to Torajiro._

The boy bit back a laughter, carefully keeping his face impassive as the Honinbo went on talking about the ceremonies. _Hey, by the way, what was_ your _childhood name? If you call me by mine, I think I have the right to use yours._

_What? Mine? I…_ For a moment Sai's essence that flowed around the boy grew murky, like a pond the bottom of which was stirred by a stick, but it went soon over. _Kagemaru._

_Kagemaru, huh? Alright, as long as you call me Torajiro, I'll be calling you Kagemaru._

_Fine for me,_ Sai replied, a little sad smile in his voice.

.

The name Shusaku became quickly known across the country, and the boy was steadily promoted. At the age of fourteen he had reached the fourth dan. He could have progressed even faster but, not to attract too much attention on himself, he…

...

_Wait. Wait, wait, wait! Shusaku? At the Honinbo school? Sai, do you mean he's actually Honinbo Shusaku? You could have told me you knew him! Why didn't you ever say anything? You know I love his games!_

_For one thing, I didn't want you to start asking questions. I figured there'd be time to tell it later._

_So did you see his ear-reddening game?_

_Yes._

… _I think I hate you a little,_ Kagemaru _._

_Hush now, Hikaru. And please, don't use that name. Let me continue. I remember that game quite well. It took place when Torajiro was seventeen, and on his way back to Edo from his old home where he spent a year and a half…_

...

On the way he met Gennan Inseki, one of the strongest players of that time, who wanted to play a game against him. It might have been that Gennan simply wanted to see if this famous pupil of the Honinbo school was as great as the rumors said, but perhaps he also harbored a wish to crush his opponent – after all, it had first been Honinbo Jowa and then his student Shuwa who had kept him from ever becoming the Meijin Godokoro, the go teacher for the shogun – and not always with clean methods. He soon found out, though, that the two-stone handicap he'd given for the boy was too much, and he suspended the game without finishing it. They started a new one, with Torajiro playing this time black without a handicap.

The boy started the game laxly, not wanting to win too blatantly, but as Gennan caught him with a new variation, he suddenly realized that he had given his opponent too big a lead. Long it seemed he would be unable to catch up, but then he played a move that turned Gennan's ears red, and Sai applauded, whirling about around them.

_Wonderful, Torajiro! Wonderful! You can yet make it! That was the most beautiful move I have ever seen!_

_Take it easy_ , Torajiro told him, a little amused. _You could have played it too._

_Perhaps._ Sai paused. _Perhaps. Though who knows if I would have seen it…_

_If not, you would have seen something even better,_ Torajiro replied calmly. _Now, please, I need to concentrate._

The game ended in Torajiro's victory. The word of it spread fast, even faster than he could travel, and preceded him to Edo. His teacher, Honinbo Shuwa, received him quite warmly.

"A brilliant move," he mused, as Torajiro recreated the game for him. "Brilliant. Closest to the divine move that I have seen."

Torajiro bowed. "You're too kind."

_He's not,_ Sai put in. _If that move is not divine, I don't know what is._

_Hush._ Torajiro blushed a little. "…too kind," he repeated, in a mumble.

"I think," Shuwa said, "that it is high time for you to join the clan of Honinbo. Don't you agree?"

_Certainly!_ Sai exclaimed. Torajiro, on the other hand, was simply staring at his teacher with wide eyes.

"Josaku-sama gave me the permission to tell you the news," Shuwa went on. "We have been talking about this for long, and we all agree. Josaku-sama is not, as you know, in good health, and I am afraid the time when I will succeed him is not far. We all agree that it is best to secure the line of succession as early as possible. And truly, there can be no other candidate than you."

"What?" was all Torajiro could say, and for once even Sai was quiet.

"We wish you to take our name and become the heir. You will also have Jowa's daughter Hana for your wife."

Torajiro closed his eyes for a moment. When he opened them again, there was a determined look in them. He bowed, deep.

"I am greatly honored by this offer," he said, "but I must decline."

Honinbo Shuwa stared at him, then touched his ear as if he wondered if there was something wrong with it. "Why?"

"I owe much to the Asano family, as you know. I still receive a stipend from Lord Asano, and… I can't in good conscience to ignore my debt to them, and to my other benefactors at my home. I cannot accept."

"A reasonable objection," Shuwa said thoughtfully. "I shall think about this. I am sure we can reach an understanding."

_Honinbo Shusaku,_ Sai said, later that night when Torajiro was preparing for bed. _It doesn't sound bad._

_No,_ Torajiro agreed. _Though I'm not sure if it sounds like me, either._

_And what about Hana? Do you also object to marrying her?_ Sai asked with a smile in his voice.

Torajiro crawled into his bed and said nothing.

It took some time, most likely longer than the heads of the Honinbo school had thought, to arrange everything so that Torajiro could accept their proposal. They attempted to talk him over a few times, but he was adamant in his decision, showing considerable strength of character for a seventeen-year-old. It certainly did not make it easier for him that Hana was a part of the bargain. _When did you start thinking of her like that?_ Sai wondered. _How did I notice nothing?_ Torajiro just blushed, said nothing and remained resolute.

In the end, the hoped-for goal was reached. It took quite a complicated and long process, using different mediators, but finally the Asano clan relinquished its claim on Torajiro. Sai wasn't quite sure if the boy was happy or terrified when the news reached him.

He wandered off alone that night, all the way to the Great River, and sat down there, watching the dark water.

_Are you worried?_ Sai asked him. _There's no need! It's easy to see you're on the right path in your life. And Hana is such a gentle woman, she will be a good wife for you!_

"Will I be a good husband to her?" Torajiro muttered aloud, eyes following restlessly the little waves of the river. "Sometimes… sometimes it feels like… I'm not sure if I'm meant to be living like this."

_How else could you live, then?_ Sai sounded genuinely confused.

"I don't know. I just know that I have avoided water cause you told me to, that I have devoted every single day to go – and it does help, as you said – but… even so, I hear the call every moment, and it's stronger day by day and…"

_You shouldn't follow it_ , Sai cut him off. _Not yet. The water won't be going anywhere – don't you want to live your life first, to its fullest?_

Torajiro sighed. "I guess. But there is another thing I've been thinking about…" He paused, and Sai waited, patiently, not wanting to rush him. "I have such control over water," the boy finally muttered. "Is it alright for me to ignore that gift? I've been thinking that maybe I should try to use it. I don't know yet how, but certainly there must be a way it could be off help for people."

_You don't really have control over water,_ Sai put in. _It's just that you are a part of water, yourself, and so you can, to some extent, use it – but don't imagine you control it. No one can truly control it._

"Even so!" Torajiro straightened his back and looked up. "As you say, I can use it. So, why shouldn't I?"

_I've told you before how dangerous it can be if others find out about you._

"Yes… but I still hate hiding what I am like this." he raised his hands up, looking at them. "People can see my hands, and they are willing to ignore them – surely they would not mind other strange things, either."

Sai, floating in the river's water, heaved out a sigh that caused little ripples on the waves. _Be careful. Think closely what you tell and to whom._

"I have already thought about it." Torajiro's voice was firm, and Sai knew there was no use to try talking him out of it. "I'll tell Hana when we get married."

It took still a while for the marriage to take place, though, and as it was, Honinbo Josaku died before it could happen. What was more surprising and so also more shocking was that just two months later Honinbo Jowa, Hana's father, died as well. This put the marriage off even further.

One day, just a few weeks after the death of her father, Torajiro was taking a walk with his betrothed. They were in fact accompanied by some other disciples of the school, but the others stayed as a group of their own, talking about the castle games that had just ended, and though Sai was around, at times listening into the discussion, at times disappearing somewhere on a whim, he too in general left the young couple alone to give them some privacy.

It was the end of November and not the loveliest day for a walk, but even so Hana had expressed a wish to get out even for a moment, and Torajiro was quick to fulfill that wish. They had headed first with carriages to the forest at the edges of the city, where they could be at peace, unbothered by people who might think such walks unsuitable for a young woman who was in mourning. The sky was gray and the wind chilly, but the trees were still blazing with color, red and golden, and as they walked, Hana every now and then bent to pick a leaf or two, soon having a big bunch of them in her hands.

...

_Umm, Sai…? Is this gonna be a love story?_

… _Hikaru, please. Don't interrupt me._

_Just checking…_

...

They were close to the river, and Torajiro could smell it in the air. He breathed it in, deep, trying to suck in calm out of it. Hana walked by his side, quietly, the leaves in her hands and a tiny strange smile tugging her lips as she glanced at him. He wasn't quite sure what to make out of those looks, so he said nothing, just walked on as if he had noticed nothing. All the time, though, he was painfully aware of her presence, and couldn't help wondering _why_ it bothered him so. He had known her since he was a child and first came to Edo, and though he had never been able to spend much time with her, he had always liked her (and she had liked him, he was sure.) It was strange how the prospect of marriage had so unsettled him.

Step after step he was growing more restless, and finally he stopped. Hana looked at him questioningly, that same little smile on her lips, but he noticed her eyes were shadowy. He glanced away, ill at ease.

There was a path that took off from the one they were walking on, and he could feel it heading toward the river.

"Would you like to walk by the river?"

She tilted her head, giving the path a look. "Why not, if you want to."

They went down the little path, and the smell of the river grew stronger in his nose. He could hear it now, too, and taking a deep breath finally felt calm spreading into himself. Slowly the river came into view among the trees, and he smiled as he saw it. He glanced at Hana – a young woman who in fact was a few years older than him, but so petite that seemed still like a girl – and saw her following him, still carrying the leaves, still smiling, but the same hollowness in her eyes, and he felt twinge of pain in his chest.

"I wish I could make you smile like you used to," he said suddenly. "And I will yet, one day."

Hana gave him a surprised look, for he wasn't prone to say such things.

"I realize it will take time, though," he went on. "And although it pains me to see you like this, it would be a great wrong to you father were you to forget him so soon."

He hadn't known Jowa that well, and during the eight years he had been studying at the Honinbo school, he had played only one game against the man – and that one hadn't been a serious game, played at a party celebrating the promotion of a Honinbo disciple. It had been left unfinished, and Jowa clearly hadn't exerted himself, perhaps feeling that his position was too elevated for him to engage in a competitive game against a disciple.

He was sorry about that, for he truly would have wanted to play a proper game against the former Meijin. He had thought he'd yet get his chance, perhaps once he officially would be the heir, but as it was... A moment he was angry, thinking about the games he would never get to play, and then, suddenly, embarrassed, for what did those unplayed games matter compared toHana having lost her father?

"I just wish you will remember, always, that you can count on me from now on," he finished his little speech, and the smile returned to her lips. Still, it didn't quite reach her eyes, but there was something warm in them as she looked at him.

"I know," she said. "You're a good man. I'm lucky to get you for my husband."

"I hope so," Torajiro muttered, looking away with a blush. Then he turned back to her, watching her seriously. "So you mean nothing about this… bothers you? About… me, I mean?"

He made a little move with his hand, as if to raise it but let it self-consciously drop by his side. She grasped it, though, and raised it up, examining the thin skin between his fingers. "You mean this?" she asked. "No. It is strange, but… why should it bother me? Say, is this something that runs in your family? Is it likely that our children will have hands like this?"

She looked up at him questioningly, and he felt himself blush again at the mention of children. "No. At least there are no records of anything like this. Of course, I can't know what my potential chi-children will be like."

Something amused flashed on her face at the way he stuttered over the word. "Well, that remains to be seen, then," she said and let go of him. She turned to watch the river.

The day was gray, and the river too, coursing through the forest, seemed lifeless and dreary, its water the color of lead. Some nearby trees with their bright foliage reflected from it, but it did little to change the dullness of the view.

"Why did you want to come here?" she asked quietly.

He stood by her side, watching the river, and gathered his courage.

"There are so many things you don't know about me…" he started, wondering how to best approach it. She gave him yet one of those hard-to-read glances.

"And there are so many things you don't know about me," she said, cutting off his chain of thought.

"Eh, yes… of course, but…" For a moment he hoped Sai were around, to help him find the right words. "But… the thing is…I really should tell you something…"

"Yes?" She looked at him expectantly as he just stood there.

"I have always," he started softly, "had this strangest… connection to water. It follows me, always, everywhere, an inseparable part of me… I think it is, partly, what makes me such a good go player."

"Water?" she asked, clearly not quite understanding what he was talking about.

"Yes." He looked down to the river, to the gray water, hearing its whisper, feeling its pull… so very familiar through all his life.

_Look, mother! Look what I can do!_

He smiled a little and bent down toward the river, looking hard into the water. A whirl appeared in it twirling round and round, and slowly he raised it higher, so that it rose from the river like a tiny whirlwind made of water.

"What…" A rustle of clothes as Hana moved closer. "Are you…"

He glanced up at her with a smile, but seeing her expression, wide eyes and partly open mouth, withdrew his will from the water and let it fall down.

"It's alright," he said standing up. "Don't be scared. I just…"

"I'm not scared," she cut him off, but the look of her eyes contradicted that statement. "How could I be scared of you? No, I'm simply…simply… I have no word for it, but it's not fear, I know that. Or maybe it is…" She reached for his hand and grasped it again, examining it much in the same way as a moment earlier, but the look in her eyes was quite different. "How did you do it?" she whispered. "Have you always been able to… does anyone know?"

He shook his head. "No. You're the first I've told. But I was thinking about telling people. I'm tired of hiding what I am."

"And what are you, then?" she muttered, still giving him a troubled look. "No. Don't. Please, don't… let people know." He shook his head, about to say something, but grasping his hand tighter she didn't give him a chance. "Don't! Please. It would… it would just cause trouble. I know it would. If I did not know you so well, even I… I would…" She swallowed. "I don't want to lose you too. So please, be careful. Don't give anyone reason to think there is something strange about you. Promise me! Promise me you will never let anyone know!"

"Alright, alright! Calm down, there's no need to get so upset about this." He took a hold of her shoulders and looked her evenly into the eyes. "Honestly, Hana-dono, don't take it so. But if it bothers you so much, I…" He paused, watching her face for a long while. "Alright," he said then with a sigh. "I promise."

She smiled, a little weakly. "Good. Let's go away from here." The look she gave the river was long and dwelling, and somehow distrustful.

They had barely taken two steps when voices approached them in the forest.

"There they are, I think I can see them!"

"Hey, Shusaku, next time you want some time alone, tell us first so we don't have to wonder where you disappeared!"

His friends appeared from the forest, laughing and chatting, and the two, both with slight blushes, left the river with them, ignoring their teasing remarks.

_So much about it then_ , Sai stated that night when Torajiro was alone in his room.

The youth frowned. _I thought you were going to stay away._

_I was. But then I felt you playing with the water and came to take a look. It seems nothing's going to change, for now. Did she say anything about it later?_

"No," Torajiro said aloud. _Overall, she behaved as if nothing had happened_ , he went on quietly. He gave a sigh. _I want to be with her… but I'd also want to, finally, be myself. Apparently I can't have both…_

_That, I have noticed, in general seems to be the trouble with life. People never get all they want, and it usually ends badly when they_ try _to get everything. Just be happy with what you have._

Torajiro sighed again. "Easy to say," he muttered.

.

Time passed, and Hana never mentioned again what he had told her that day. Torajiro did notice how she, at times when she thought he wasn't looking, stared at his hands, but always when their eyes met she would smile, and she never hesitated taking his hand when he offered it.

Between Sai's warnings and his promise to her he decided to continue living as he had lived so far. That uncertain feeling of not quite being where he was meant to be didn't go away, though; on the contrary it grew stronger as time went by. He took long walks when the restlessness hit him, accompanied only by Sai. Usually they were engaged into fierce matches of blind go on those walks, but more and more often Torajiro declined the game and just walked, deep in his own thoughts he didn't share with Sai.

Sai couldn't really say anything about the problem. He didn't remember ever having such feelings, but then again, as he pointed out to Torajiro, he had always had his pendant to quell the water's effect – and he had been much younger when his life had ended.

_But let me know if anything changes_ , he told Torajiro worriedly during one of those walks. _For better or worse, you understand?_

_Of course_ , Torajiro replied, but he sounded absentminded, and Sai wondered if he really heard what he had said.

In the end the next year was almost over before everything was, officially, in order. In mid-December Torajiro, accompanied by his teacher Shuwa, went to the Edo Castle for an audience with the shogun. The marriage took place soon after this. A year later a daughter was born, small and delicate, and to the relief of both of her parents in all appearances completely normal human child. Torajiro named her Izumi, 'a spring', and if his wife would have preferred some less watery name, she said nothing.

From then on life seemed to proceed quite normally. Torajiro's fame as a go player grew, and he was steadily promoted everyyear. The restlessness still followed him, but with his new family and position as the Heir he didn't have much time to dwell on it. He devoted himself to the game during that time, gradually beginning to play his games to his true ability. His free time he spent with his daughter, teaching her go for which she seemed to have some natural ability and interest, and after a while stopped his long, lonely walks. Sai hoped quietly that perhaps the busy family life would in the end cure the restlessness altogether.

Izumi grew into a pretty little girl, the image of her mother. Though she clearly had not inherited her father's stranger qualities, she did have a strong fascination to water. As a little child she would have bathed every day (twice, if just possible), and she never missed a chance to go jumping in the puddles after a rain, no matter how many times she was chastised for such unladylike behavior. Sai assured Torajiro (who in his turn assured his wife) that there was no deeper connection to water and nothing to worry about.

For years they were allowed to live happy family life, but the end for that came abruptly, without a warning. During Izumi's eighth summer they traveled to Innoshima to spend some time in Torajiro's old home. His mother and wife had always got along fine, and with time they had developed into good friends. Kame absolutely adored her granddaughter, although, as Hana observed, she didn't seem to like the girl's love for water, and commanded her quite strictly to stay away from the river. Curious, Hana led the discussion on, and soon heard a plethora of stories from the childhood of her husband, all of them involving more or less watery accidents. She glanced thoughtfully toward Torajiro who at the moment was playing a game with the girl on the terrace, wondering just how much his mother truly knew.

During that visit, in the peace of his home town, Torajiro started taking the long walks again. Now, though, he seemed more relaxed than before on his aimless wanderings, and when Sai remarked on this, he smiled.

"I simply feel more at home here," he said. "I don't know, maybe it's something in the air. Or, in my case it most likely is something in the water. This little river," he stopped on a hill and looked down to it, "has always felt like home to me."

_Perhaps it is where you were born_ , Sai said. _I know I'm still often drawn to that lake that gave birth to me._

Torajiro frowned. "Isn't it our mothers who gave birth to us?"

_Well, yes, but… you know what I mean. What gave birth to this certain side of us…_

"So what is it, really, that gave birth to us?" Torajiro asked. "You've never told me. What _are_ we really?"

… _I haven't told you because I don't really know. The water itself, perhaps, or some part of its essence getting into an unborn child still developing in its mother's womb. But I don't know how or why. I've been wondering about it for long, and I'm not sure if I'll ever figure it out._

Torajiro stood still in silence for a moment. "How long are you going to live?" He asked then suddenly, startling Sai a little.

_What?_

"How long are you going to live?"

_I… have never thought about that. But over 800 years have already passed and nothing has changed for me… long, I'd say._

"So you don't ever think of death? Of what happens after? Do you think, if the likes of us will be reincarnated, will we be like this again, or…" He let the sentence trail off. Sai watched him, wondering and a little confused, but there was nothing on his face to tell what he was thinking.

_I must admit I have never thought about such things_ , Sai finally said. _Who knows. Perhaps._

"Perhaps." Torajiro sat down, still watching the river. Then he smiled. "So, Kagemaru, would you play a game with me?"

_Of course!_ Sai exclaimed, and soon they were immersed into a world of their own.

One evening, when Torajiro was returning from a walk, running steps approached and Hana rushed to him.

"Have you seen Izumi?" she panted before he could ask what was wrong. "We can't find her anywhere!" she cried out as he shook his head. "What if she has fallen into the river…"

"I don't think so…" Torajiro looked away, feeling the water. _Sai?_ he asked, just in case.

_She's not at the river_ , Sai replied. _Or at least not in it._

"She has not," Torajiro said firmly. "But we still must find her. Is everyone looking?"

She nodded. "We have been, for a while. I don't understand where she has gone, and it will get dark soon…" She was wringing her hands, looking desperate, and Torajiro placed his hand on her shoulder.

"Don't worry. I'll find him."

_I'll look too,_ Sai said, and his presence vanished. And it wasn't, most likely, surprising that in the end it was he who was the first to find Izumi.

_She is at the rocky bend in the river, watching the water foam,_ he whispered to Torajiro, who stopped and frowned.

"That far? How did she… well, who cares. I know where she is," he added to Hana, who was watching him confusedly.

"What? How?"

"I just… do. It's a bit of a walk, but don't worry, she's okay." _Will you see to it that she stays okay, too?_ he added to Sai quietly.

_I'll do my best,_ Sai promised.

They started hurrying toward the river, followed also by other searchers. It took a while, but finally they reached the river, and as Sai had given him no reports in the meanwhile, Torajiro figured – hoped – that nothing had happened. And soon he saw the girl, crouching on the rocks and watching the foam, as Sai had said.

"Izumi!" Hana shouted. "What are you doing there! Come here right now!"

He had a short moment of déjà-vu there – how often had _his_ mother called after him like that – and for a moment finally understood the constant worry she had had to feel through his entire childhood, but it wasn't quite the time for such guilty reflections. Besides, he knew this river very well, and here the flood was strong, coursing by the rocks with foam and froth, making this a dangerous place.

The girl stood up, waving. "Hi! Isn't it pretty here!"

"Izumi," Torajiro said in his no-nonsense-tolerated voice. "Come here, carefully. The wet stones can be…" He got no further when the girl slipped.

Hana screamed, the men who had followed them were shouting, and somewhere in the back of his mind he could feel Sai too reaching for the girl, but even the water spirit wasn't as fast as he. Torajiro was _in_ the water, flew through it to his daughter when Hana's first scream just broke the air, and he stood up, holding onto the girl.

"Izumi!" Hana was shouting, apparently not even noticing anything strange had happened. The men fell silent, though, staring at him with wide eyes as he walked to the shore, surefooted on the slippery rocky bottom. He gave the startled, crying girl to her mother, who grasped her strongly to her chest. "Izumi! Did you hurt yourself?"

Torajiro stood in the water watching the scene, when he suddenly became aware of Sai shouting something at him, voice frantic.

… _get out!_

"What?" he asked, or thought he did, but he had a strange feeling, as if he had water in his mouth.

_Get out of the water while you still can! Now, Torajiro!_

Only now he realized how the men on the shore were staring at him. And Hana, too… she raised her eyes from her still crying daughter and they widened with horror as they settled on him.

_What?_ he asked again, confused.

_Get out!_ Sai shouted again. He took a step, planning to rise on the shore, but found it difficult. The water flowing round his feet made them feel heavy, and as he glanced down he realized he didn't quite know where his feet ended and the water begun.

"What _is_ it?" the men were shouting on the shore. "A water demon!"

"Shusaku," Hana whispered.

_Hold on!_ Sai was shouting. _You can still do it! I'll help you, don't let the river claim you!_

He tried again, and this time he was able to raise one leg just a little out of the water. The men on the shore gave out frightened shouts, and he wondered what they were seeing.

"It _is_ a demon! Look at it change!"

"No!" Hana sprung to her feet. "It's Shusaku, can't you see!" She tried to reach for him, but the men held her back.

"Hana-dono, don't! Don't let it trick you!"

"Dear gods," someone whispered. "Look at his hair! Has he always been like this…?"

_Like what?_ Torajiro thought to himself, as he painfully slowly was finally able to drag a foot completely out of water and place it on the shore. He paused, staring at it – his foot, yes, but strangely transparent and shivering, as if it had trouble to keep its shape. Only now his eyes fell on a pile of clothes lying rumpled on the shore, and suddenly, to his embarrassment, he realized he had to be naked.

_That's not important right now!_ Sai's voice, and while the water was sucking him back, someone was pushing him out of it. _Get out while you still can! Concentrate!_

_Kagemaru_ , he whispered. Yes. He closed his eyes and tried to feel himself, feel the ground under one foot and separate himself from the water that lapped against the other, pull apart, even though it hurt. _Something_ was happening, he could feel it, and hear it also in the frightened gasps of the men on the shore. Now he started to raise the other foot, and it was easier, much easier, and he opened his eyes, smiling with relief as he saw the foot look, if still a little pale, otherwise like a normal human foot.

And then he stood there, on the shore, dripping water and shivering, trying to find words to assure everyone that everything was alright, but his tongue didn't obey. Hana picked up his kimono and placed it on his shoulders, wrapping him into it and covering also his hair, which suddenly reached down his back. Most of the men had turned and ran as he came on the shore, but a couple remained, and they helped them back, one carrying the girl, the other – though a little wild-eyed – helping Hana to support him, for suddenly his feet felt like water, about to give away under him.

Izumi got through the ordeal with just a scratch on one hand from a sharp rock, and, of course, a bad fright that gave her nightmares for nights to come. For Torajiro, getting better was harder. If before he had said he felt the pull of the river, now he didn't anymore know how to describe the feeling. It was as if a part of himself was missing. For days he didn't speak – not aloud, that is, for every time he thought he said something, he really didn't, and the only one to hear him was Sai. And nights passed without sleep with him floating in the dark, not sure if he still was himself or about to soak into the ground like water.

The story of what had happened spread fast. Two disciples of the Honinbo school had been with them at the river, and they headed straight to Edo, still frightened. Most who heard their story didn't know what to make out of it, but it was clear that something had greatly terrified these normally level-headed men. Shuwa, the current head of the school, sent a message asking about the heir's condition. Hana sent a short reply, simply stating that Shusaku was sick. Shuwa's reply was just as short, telling them to return to Edo as soon as his condition allowed traveling.

As Hana too wished to return to the capital as soon as possible, to get away from the river and its effect, they started the journey quite soon, although Torajiro wasn't yet quite himself. Once they reached Edo Shuwa came right away to see them, asking what truly had happened. When both husband and wife remained quiet, he gave them a strict look.

"The city is buzzing with rumors. You don't have to tell me what happened if you don't want to, but at least you have to appear publicly, deny that there is anything strange going on." He gave Torajiro a long look, taking in his pale face, the dark circles under his eyes, and his look that didn't quite focus. "Can you do that?"

As Torajiro still said nothing Hana nodded in his stead. "Of course. He is still weary because of his illness, but…"

"No."

The word was quiet, almost inaudible. Hana paused and looked at her husband.

"No," Torajiro repeated. "I can't… I won't deny anything. I am what I am."

"Don't you understand?" Shuwa exclaimed. "The rumor has it you're some kind of a water demon! Our opponents are saying that the reason for our heir being such an unnaturally brilliant player is just because he _is_ unnatural!"

A weak smile tugged Torajiro's lips. "But that is just the truth, isn't it?"

Shuwa sat back, watching him tightlipped. Torajiro had nothing more to say, and nothing they could say would turn his head. In the end Shuwa saw no other choice but to name a new heir. For the official reason he simply stated that Torajiro's current illness prevented him from taking care of the duties of the heir, but this of course did nothing to quell the rumors. There were those who said it wasn't enough, that the school should completely disown him, but Shuwa couldn't be so hard to someone he had come to think as a son.

Torajiro was in the end the one to ease the situation, saying he would give up the name of Honinbo and return to his childhood home. Hana was strongly opposed to this.

"I can't bring Izumi there, you know that!" was the main argument she used. "Not close to that river! She still has nightmares about it. Besides, it can't be good for you to go there, either. Please, you have to reconsider this."

But Torajiro was adamant in his decision, and in the end he left on his own. "Don't worry," he said to Hana on the day he was leaving. "I won't be alone."

And Sai had, just as adamantly, decided he wouldn't leave Torajiro alone for a single moment. He too had opposed the return to the river, for he knew its proximity wouldn't help Torajiro to regain his balance, but his objections were equally ignored.

Back in Innoshima days passed deceptively peacefully. Torajiro kept to himself, spending most of the days walking, but thankfully he seemed to be avoiding the river's direction. Here, too, people were clearly frightened of the rumors – Sai could see the fear even in Torajiro's parents' eyes when their son wasn't looking – but as long as he bothered no one they didn't seem to be inclined to bother them. And as Torajiro gradually started sleeping better, eating more and gaining some color on his cheeks again, Sai relaxed, beginning to believe everything would yet be alright.

… _perhaps I relaxed too much, too soon. One night I returned to his room to check on him and found him gone. It didn't take me long to locate him – or his body, rather. I don't know how he managed to do it so quietly I never noticed anything, how I did not feel anything in the waters… I found him in the river, drowned. If I only had kept true to my decision never to leave him alone…_

_I don't know how he did it, either. Somehow he found a way to give away what was water in him – even his hands had lost their web, there were just shreds left of it. It must have been hard for him to hold himself together, stay human, as he entered his birth waters. But he did it, and died as a human. I hope he has been reborn as one, too._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I… don't think Honinbo Shusaku had any children? At least I've not been able to find any mentions of them. But then again, it was surprisingly hard to find out pretty much anything about his family – like, for example, his wife's name. Just for the record, it really was Hana, and his mother's name was Kame. And some more name trivia, now that I got started: Shusaku was born as Kuwabara/Kuwahara Torajiro (it's uncertain which reading of his family name was used) This was his mother's family name. His father, Yasuda Wazo, married into the family. I've no idea why Torajiro for a while used his father's family name (first being Yasuda Eisai, and then Yasuda Shusaku) before he took the Honinbo name. The name Eisai amuses me, though, just because in Finnish it's like No-sai. That's why I wanted to have it mentioned in the fic at least in passing. But people really changed names a lot those days!


	6. Chapter 4: Akari

**Chapter 4: Akari**

The last year of elementary school reached its end quite uneventfully. Hikaru's mother was shaking her head at his grades, but at least the school life had been void of any watery disasters after that event on the second grade, something that made her extremely thankful, not to mention – after what happened in Tokyo – somewhat astonished.

Hikaru didn't change his mind about moving to Tokyo, and his parents didn't stand against his decision, perhaps a little unnerved, not quite understanding exactly what had happened at that New Year's party. So they kept their arrangement, with Hikaru and Mitsuko living in their little house a few hours' drive from Tokyo. Hikaru's new middle school was in a neighboring town, a half-an-hour bus trip away, which was a bit of a pain. Akari went to the same school, so they often traveled together, with her chatting of this and that, and Hikaru nodding off or attempting to read the newest volume of the Go Weeklymagazine, which his parents had ordered for him for his birthday.

The school was clearly bigger than their old elementary school. Once again, the initial curiosity his hands aroused was great, but this time Hikaru took it much more calmly, answering the questions shortly and to the point, not wanting to dwell on the matter. He was aware he was fast beginning to gain the reputation of some kind of a lone freak, what with his hands, aloof behavior and interest in go. He didn't care, though; he was perfectly happy to spend his days as he had so far, with Sai as his company. There was one annoying thing in middle school though: mandatory club activity.

Hikaru stood by the info board, eyeing through the ads. Basketball, soccer, kendo, swimming club, art club, literature… none of it really appealed to him.

 _Is there no go club?_ Sai asked.

 _Apparently not._ _But that's fine, I don't think I'd be joining it even if there were one._

 _What?_ Sai sounded genuinely astounded. _Why not?_

Hikaru snorted. _You actually think they would know how to play go in a school club?_

_Hikaru! Don't be nasty. You could teach them!_

"What," Hikaru muttered aloud. "You want me to become a go club tutor? As if." _Besides, if there isn't a go club, there isn't. Can't be helped._ "So, what about the swim club?"

_I really don't think that's a good idea._

"I guess." Hikaru sighed. "Well, there's no hurry with this yet, so. Let's think about it."

He most likely would not have thought much about it, but in the bus Akari came to sit next to him.

"Have you decided which club to join?" she asked after a cheerful greeting.

Hikaru took a more comfortable position and closed his eyes, planning to sleep if she'd only let him. "Not yet."

"So, how about… a go club?"

"What?" His eyes snapped open and he frowned at her. Akari was watching him with an excited look in her eyes. "There isn't a go club, you know!"

"I know!" she agreed cheerfully. "But you could start one!"

Hikaru's brain paused for a moment. "…what?"

"I'd join!"

He gave a snort and leaned back again. "So you haven't yet found a club either, huh? What makes you think I'd want you in my go club?"

"Hikaru! Why not? I heard from your mom that you still play. And she said you're possibly pretty good? So why shouldn't you start a go club? There could be others who want to join!"

 _She's right Hikaru! I think it's a great idea!_ Sai sounded excited.

_You start the go club, then._

_Hikaru~! Why not?_ Sai wailed at the same time as Akari asked, "Hikaru, why not?"

"Gah!" He grimaced and placed his hands on his ears. "Be quiet!" _Both of you._ "I want to nap."

Next day Hikaru went to see the principal.

"A go club?" The principal was watching the boy with a rather surprised look on his face. "Yes, it is true that our school hasn't had a go club for years. There was one but it died out. There hasn't been much interest for one."

"There is now," Hikaru stated shortly. He didn't like the principal. It was something about the smell of the man, some strange personal odor he couldn't quite name and barely felt, but it tickled his noise and made him annoyed.

"Well." The man sat behind his desk, giving him a heavy-lidded look. "Well. If you get enough members, we can consider it."

"A go club!" Akari exclaimed excitedly. "I'm pretty sure I can at least get Kumiko to join! And I can ask around! Surely we get enough members!"

"Yeah," Hikaru muttered. Sai too was bubbling with excitement, but somehow he couldn't quite feel it. "I guess we should make a poster too, or something."

Within the next week they had three more members – Akari's friend, and two boys. Hikaru was watching the little group thoughtfully in the classroom where they were meeting.

"So?" Akari asked, still brimming with enthusiasm. "What shall we do?"

"Do?" Hikaru glanced at her. "Play go, what else?"

"Do we even have boards?" one of the boys asked.

"Just one for now. But as we have enough members, I guess the school could give us money to buy one or two more."

"And who's the captain?" the other boy asked.

"Hikaru, of course!" Akari gave him a look. "He founded the club, after all!"

The boy didn't bother even looking at her. "You're a first year," he stated.

Hikaru returned his look with a blank expression on his face. "So?"

"And we are third years," the boy went on emphatically.

Hikaru sighed. "Let's play a game," he just said quietly. He sat down by their one and only go board. "Which one of you is the better player?" The boys shared a look, and one of them sat down to face him, the one who had asked who was the captain.

Hikaru smiled at him. "Place as many stones as you want," he said quietly. The boy's eyes narrowed.

"You've got some nerve," he muttered through clenched teeth.

They started the game evenly. It didn't last long.

Hikaru's opponent was sitting very quietly in his chair, staring at the board. The other boy standing next to him was just as quiet. Slowly he looked up, at Hikaru, and the boy gave him a small, lazy smile.

"Want to discuss the game?"

The third year stood up and left, his friend following him close by.

"Hikaru!" Akari breathed. "Why did you drive them away like that? If they don't come back we've lost half our members!"

"All the same to me," Hikaru snorted. "I don't want them here."

"But…!"

Hikaru stood up. "Do you know go at all?" he asked Kumiko. She shook timidly her head. "Okay, Akari – tell her the basics. You can play a game of capturing stones or something."

"Where are you going to?" Akari asked, as Hikaru headed to the door.

"Out."

 _Hikaru_ , Sai said quietly as he left the classroom. _What was that about? You didn't have to be so harsh with them._

 _Why not?_ Hikaru thought back to him. _They were annoying. I don't want to spend my time playing against them._

_So where are you going to?_

_The library_.

It wasn't for the books. Hikaru reserved a computer for himself for an hour, and logged right in on net go. To his disappointment he saw Akira wasn't there.

The boy had finally stopped sending him messages. He was still usually around, and they played almost daily. Sometimes Hikaru wished he could have discussed the games with Akira (he had so many things he wanted to say… what did you think of that move, or, what were you thinking when you _made_ that move.) Even so he maintained his silence, and Akira seemed to have given up on him ever responding.

He picked an opponent he knew to be strong, and started a game.

-

In Tokyo Akira had had long arguments with himself on how he should deal on this matter of 'sai' and Shindou. He wanted to respect his father's advice and stay away from sai, but if… _if_ , somehow, it turned out that Shindou was sai, then… wouldn't that make it all different? Or possibly, he thought, remembering his old theory, perhaps Shindou was the student…?

He wished he knew where the other boy lived, but Shindou, although not the most common surname, was still common enough that it was nigh impossible to find one boy.

Almost daily he was replaying the game he had played against Shindou, comparing it to the games sai played, and the connection was clear to him. If Shindou wasn't sai, he at least was someone who had studied sai's game, he was sure of that.

And no matter who Shindou was, his game had been…

Akira let out small, breathless sigh. Once again he damned himself for letting the other slip away so easily. He had just been so startled when Shindou suddenly bounced up. Why did he leave like that? He had seemed somehow startled, even frightened… why?

Akira shook his head. _He_ was the one who should have been frightened then, faced with such impossible strength.

He stared at the game on the board in front of him, and vowed he would yet find this strange opponent of his. No matter how long it would take, he would yet play another game against this boy, face to face.

-

After the little incident with the third years, the days proceeded quietly at the go club. They got one more member, also a girl, and a little grudgingly the principal agreed to make them a real club – on probation, though. Apart from that, not much happened with the club. Akari was clearly beginning to lose her patience with Hikaru, who showed up irregularly and very seldom did anything else but watched the girls playing, offering only some random comments about the game. One day she finally had had enough.

"Maybe we should just end the club!" She and Kumiko had again been playing, and Hikaru was nodding beside them, paying no attention to their game whatsoever.

He looked up with a start. "What?"

"You're obviously not interested in the club at all! So why bother with it? I thought it might be fun, but if it's just me and Kumiko playing, we don't really need a club for that!"

"That's not…" Hikaru started to say.

 _She's got a point_ , Sai put in, and he fell quiet. _You're really not invested in the club at all. Why? I thought you'd find it fun._

"I don't know," Hikaru said with a sigh. He stood up. "Let's… talk tomorrow." He walked out, leaving Akari glaring after him.

 _Hikaru…?_ Sai sounded – and felt – worried. _What's the matter? You're so gloomy these days – or maybe not gloomy, but somehow…apathetic. You don't_ feel _like yourself._

"I don't?" Hikaru muttered aloud. "I don't know. I'm just… tired. I don't like this middle school." _Don't worry about it_ , he added in his mind. He walked out of the school and stopped, watching up at the blue cloudless sky. _Summer's coming…_ he added a little absentmindedly. _And summer break. I'll relax then properly, that'll help._

He said no more about the matter, but from then on he tried focus more on the club, not skipping it anymore and playing teaching games with the girls. He brought his old go magazines to the club too, and sometimes they reviewed professional games. Akari seemed to be happier, probably thinking that she had made him more serious about the club, but Sai wasn't fooled. Hikaru knew that, and feeling Sai's worry made him feel vaguely guilty, but try as he might he couldn't truly make himself interested either in the club or in school – or pretty much anything that was going on around him these days. At times he wondered if it had been a mistake not to move to Tokyo. Perhaps exploring the city would have helped... though he somewhat doubted that.

Summer did come, and true to his word Hikaru did relax. He spent his days out, sometimes hanging around at town, but usually somewhere in the forest, lying at a spot where the ground water was closest to the surface. Sometimes he played blind go with Sai, sometimes not, but every evening he checked if Akira was online and played a game with him.

On one burninghot summer day Hikaru was strolling on the main street of the town, just hanging around as usual, watching the people and the few shop windows without really seeing them, when he suddenly noticed Akari and Kumiko waiting for the bus. In fact it was Sai who pointed them out for him, for his eyes passed right over them like everyone else.

"Hi." He walked to them, nodding. Akari turned to look at him, her face taking a carefully friendly expression.

"Hi."

He stopped by them, hands in his pockets, and a moment they stood in silence. "Where are you going to?" he asked then, to say something.

The girls glanced at each other. "To the beach," Akari said. "We're meeting with some of our classmates there, and…"

"Why didn't you ask me too?" Hikaru sounded annoyed, but his expression didn't really change.

"I…" Akari shifted from foot to foot. "We're going to the beach, you know? You never… you never come there, and your mother said… I didn't think you'd come this time either."

"You could have still asked!"

_Hikaru? What's the matter?_

Hikaru took a deep breath. "Well, whatever. Can you borrow me enough for the bus?"

Akari just stared at him. "…what?"

"For the bus! To the beach. I'm coming, too. I'm bored." Now the annoyance entered his face, too, and a frown appeared on his forehead.

"I… I guess I, I mean, if you're sure, you… shouldn't you tell your mother?"

"Why?" Hikaru shrugged. "She knows I'm out, it's not like she knew where I'm hanging around, anyway. Or don't you want me to come?" The frown deepened.

Akari looked a little uncomfortable. "Of course I do," she still said. "Just remember that I warned you, if she gets mad at you. And yeah, I can borrow you enough for there and back. But you don't have anything with you…"

"It's okay. I'm probably not swimming, anyway."

The bus trip to the beach took half an hour. The place, Hikaru thought as the water came into view, wasn't really much to talk about. A bay in the river, with a so-called beach that attempted to be sand, but mainly consisted of some rough gravel. Akari waved, having spotted her friends, and Hikaru frowned again, seeing some of the boys of their class among them.

_Is that why she didn't want me to come?_

_What, are you jealous?_ Sai sounded amused.

Hikaru laughed out loud. _As if. So._ He turned to watch the river. _So that is…_ He paused.

 _Hikaru?_ Sai asked, as the boy suddenly fell quiet. _Are you sure it was a good idea to come here?_

 _I can't be running away from water all my life,_ Hikaru thought quietly, as he started walking toward the river. Akari glanced after him but turned then away as she was chatting with her friends.

"It's beautiful," Hikaru said quietly aloud to Sai.

 _Yes_ , the spirit agreed, _But… Hikaru. Have you already forgotten all I've told you? Hikaru?_

The boy said nothing, just stood there staring at the water.

"Hikaru!" Akari ran to him. Blinking, he realized she had already changed into her swimming suit – when did she have time for that? "We're going for a swim!" She was laughing, light from the water reflecting in her eyes, and she dashed into the water, splashing as she went. A few drops flew on Hikaru's foot, and a shiver ran through him.

Kumiko followed her soon, shrieking something about the water being cold, and all the others joined them. They swam around, laughing and shouting, and the boys had a ball with them they started throwing to each other.

Hikaru sat down to watch them.

He didn't remember ever having been near to such a huge body of water – his mother had made sure of that, and yes, she would be mad if she ever found out where he was right now. Still, it felt somehow familiar. He heaved out a big sigh.

"It's not bad, Sai," he muttered aloud. "It's not bad to be here. Somehow it almost feels like… being at home."

 _That's what Torajiro said too_ , Sai pointed out gently. _Please. Be careful._

_Of course._

Everyone truly seemed to be enjoying themselves. Hikaru watched them keenly, noting those who were the most comfortable in water, and those whose moves were awkward and who were careful not to go so deep their feet wouldn't reach the bottom. Even they, though, were laughing and having fun, every now and then falling into the water and then surfacing with laughter, floating around, trusting the water.

Someone threw the ball to Akari, but she didn't catch it and it floated close to the shore.

"Hikaru!" she shouted. "Throw it to me!"

The boy looked at the ball and shook his head. "You missed it, so come and get it!"

Akari mumbled something under her breath but came after the ball. "Can't you even get your feet wet," she snapped at Hikaru over her shoulder as she threw the ball to her friends. The others laughed, giving Hikaru looks he remembered from years ago.

_A frog that can't swim!_

He closed his eyes.

 _Hikaru?_ It took him a moment to realize it was Sai who was talking to him. _Maybe we should leave_.

He didn't reply. Instead he stood up and in one swift movement threw his shirt away. His pants dropped down, forming two holes on the ground.

 _I don't think you should… Hikaru!_ The boy was already in water.

Akari laughed, seeing him. "Someone's going to complain if you swim only in your boxers," she said.

Hikaru didn't listen to her. In that moment he was aware of the water in a way he had never been, not even when taking a bath. Every inch of his body felt it, and he drew in a shaky breath, attempting to come over the sensation.

 _Hikaru_ , Sai said somewhere in the back of his mind. _Concentrate._ He heard the words, but couldn't quite comprehend them. With a little shaky legs he stood up, standing in the water up to his thighs.

"I'll teach you to swim, Hikaru," Akari said, floating in the water and watching him with a smile. "It's not…"

Hikaru bent forward and dove.

He glided slowly through water, watching the legs of the people around him. A pull, and he went by them, another, and they were left behind. He smiled to himself there, in a world of his own, unseen by anyone else, his ears water-deaf to the shouts that echoed above the surface. Carefully, experimentally, he kicked with his feet and gained speed, just heading away without any clear purpose or goal.

The silence of the water was soothing to his ears. He closed his eyes and floated, letting the water carry and caress him, listening to the quiet, sucking it into himself as if quenching a great thirst.

_ Hikaru... _

There was a whisper in the water, going through him without so much as touching him, and he floated on, unbothered **.**

_Hikaru!_

He flinched, his eyes opened. It took them a moment to focus; then he noticed something beside him, a shadowy figure, human-shaped, with something gossamery flowing around it.

_Hikaru?_

He realized. _Sai! Is that you?_ Although he was underwater, he couldn't help laughing aloud. _I can see you!_

_Hikaru. You need to get back._

_Why?_ He frowned. _I like it here._

 _Akari is worried_. Sai's voice was terse, anxious. _She thinks you've drowned. Which, from their point of view, isn't far from the truth._

 _But I_... Hikaru stared at him. He could see Sai more clearly now, and realized that the veil-like thing floating around him was hair, long and dark.

_Do you really want to do this to her? To your parents? You'll be dead to them._

_But I,_ Hikaru said again. He turned in the water. _I_... He paused, swallowed. It felt good to be in the water. It was home, _Home_ , in a sense he had never felt like before. But even so... he remembered his mother, as if in a half-forgotten dream, and his father, and Akari.

 _Which way_... _which way is it?_ he finally whispered.

 _I'll help you,_ Sai promised and offered a hand, and started guiding him toward the shore.

It seemed to be a much longer way back, but finally he could see the swimmers ahead. There were more of them than he remembered, and most were diving, something frantic in their movements.

 _Now, you need to get up_ , Sai whispered.

_Up?_

_Stand! Come, you can do it!_

_But I don't_...Hikaru tried to say, but Sai was pushing him. He noticed Akari in the water, and the girl was diving too, though he knew she didn't like it because the water went into her ears. He pulled toward her and tramped the water, trying to gain his feet, and suddenly his foot touched the ground and his head hit the surface, and he gasped for breath.

"There he is!" someone shouted.

"Hikaru!" That was Akari. She was splashing toward him, fast. "What did you do! What happened?"

"Nothing," he panted. "I just... I just dove."

"Are you alright?" a man asked, and Hikaru nodded, confused. Why wouldn't he be?

"Sure."

"It's okay, just kids fooling," someone said, and the crowd began to break up, muttering something as they went.

"Be more careful in the future," the man said sternly. "You caused quite a chaos here. And do wear a swimsuit at a public beach."

"Umm, yeah, sure..." Hikaru was glancing around, still confused. Akari stood next to him, glaring at him, and the rest of their group were a little farther away, giving him strange looks.

"You could have told me you can swim!" Akari finally spat out. "Where did you go? Hiding somewhere while we were looking for you? Did you have fun?"

"I..." was all Hikaru managed before she turned and paddled away.

"Whatever! I'm not interested!"

"His hair," someone said. "Was it always that long?"

Hikaru ran his fingers through his hair and realized it suddenly almost reached to his shoulders. Damn. He'd better get it cut somewhere before his mother saw it. She'd freak out. Akari had stopped and stood in the water, staring at him. He looked back at her.

"Would you give me a haircut before I go home?" he asked, and Akari blinked.

In the bus Akari tried to ask him what truly had happened, but he remained stubbornly quiet all the way to their home town.

"Do you want the haircut or not?" Akari finally snapped. "I won't do it unless you tell me the truth!"

Hikaru considered a moment cutting his hair himself, but figured the result would be quite horrible. And he hardly had enough money to have it cut at a barber's.

"Fine," he muttered. "But later. Not now."

Akari gave him a long look. He was sitting a little lumped, hands in his lap, and his eyes were staring at them. Akari waited for him to blink, and when he didn't she in the end turned away, a little disturbed.

"Okay," she finally breathed. "But you'd better tell me some day soon."

Hikaru just nodded, not really listening to her. He still felt as if he were partly in the water, not really sitting on this bus bench. Sai was quiet, but he felt him quite strongly, as if the spirit were sitting right next to him, holding his hand. When they arrived to the town Akari took him to her home and smuggled him to the bathroom, where she cut his hair. The result was quite uneven, but at least it was much better than suddenly having shoulder length hair. Hikaru mumbled a quiet thank you to her, and shuffled home. His mother gave him a look when he came, as if realizing something had happened.

"Hikaru? Where were you? You were out quite long..."

He just muttered something incomprehensible and headed for her computer. He was lucky. Akira was online. He sent a game request, and then, to make sure the other wouldn't disappear anywhere, his first ever message: _I need a game. S._

-

In Tokyo, Akira stared at his screen in confusion.

_I need a game. S._

He blinked at the screen. As far as he knew, sai had never sent any messages to anyone, or replied to any he had got. Why did he now send this one? What was the point? He would hardly have declined the game even without a message. That strange signature was hardly needed either, he could see the message was from sai even without it. And it was just an S... that could stand both for Sai and Shindou, he realized.

He clicked his tongue in annoyance, half willing to ignore the request. A moment he considered replying, asking why before making any decisions. Had something happened? But, he reasoned, if sai sent him a message like that, he probably had reasons for it, and most likely truly meant it. He clicked to accept the game request, deciding he would ask later. But as soon as the game ended, sai was gone.

Akira let out an annoyed breath, watching the now empty screen. He was beginning to lose his patience with this sai. Perhaps, he thought again, his father was right. Perhaps he should ignore this person in the future – after all, with the pro test fast approaching he really shouldn't let himself be distracted like this.

He knew that, and he knew as well that the next time he sat by his computer he'd log in on net go, and the next time sai asked him for a game, with or without a message, he'd accept.

With a sigh he turned off the computer. There was homework to be done. Not to mention that he had, once again, spent too much time studying just sai's game. That part of his father's advice he had taken to heart – not to concentrate on just one player, no matter how astonishing he might be.

But even so, he mused to himself, sai _was_ astonishing. He thought about something he had been thinking quite often before, and decided that when an opportune moment came, he would take the chance and ask.

It took him a while to gather his courage, though. "Father?" he finally said one day when he had finished an evening game with his father and they were done discussing it. "Have you ever thought about playing a game against sai?"

Touya Kouyou looked at him, his face impassive.

"Sai again? I thought you didn't anymore care about him."

"Well, I…" Akira didn't meet his gaze. He was sure his father had to know how he had again started following sai online. Certainly someone had to have mentioned the games he was constantly playing with sai to him... But his father had never said anything, and he had remained very quiet about it, taking care not to let anything slip. "I…" he started again, and fell quiet, embarrassed. It suddenly occurred to him that technically, he was lying to his father, and he wouldn't have thought he'd ever do something like that. "I've still been watching his games, every now and then," he confessed. "They are very… I mean, I think he's still growing… and I can't help thinking… that if you were to play with him… it would be, it would…"

"Yes?"

"It would be a wonderful game," Akira said very quietly, eyes still on his hands. "One I would love to see."

"You know I don't play net go," the Meijin stated with such finality in this voice that Akira could but sigh and bow his head.

-

One day a little before school started Akari came to meet Hikaru at his home.

"So," she said, dropping to sit on the floor in his room. "When are you going to tell me?"

Hikaru froze, staring at the manga he'd had in his hands. "Tell you what?" He swallowed. How to wriggle out of this? "I don't..."

Akari raised a finger. "I gave you your haircut. I haven't said a word to your mother. What happened at the beach?"

Hikaru sighed and lowered the manga, giving her a look. The silence stretched longer, drawing out between them as Akari met his gaze evenly, obviously not planning to give up. Sai too was quiet, though Hikaru was sure he was close by, listening.

"You won't say a word to anyone else, then," he stressed, making up his mind. "Not to Kumiko or anyone."

"Okay."

"There isn't really much I can tell you. I dove, that's all. Very far."

Akari was shaking her head. "Don't lie to me! You can't stay underwater that long, it's... it's impossible!"

"Not to me." Hikaru watched thoughtfully his hands. "Actually," he whispered, "I almost didn't come back. I _liked_ it there. I didn't… want to…"

He hadn't been planning to say that. Akari stared at him, eyes a little wide, mouth half-opened as if she were about to say something, just not knowing what.

"But," she breathed. "You…" She paused. "I don't understand," she finally said.

Hikaru laughed out. "You don't? Well, neither do I. Just that I'm drawn to water, I've always been… and water is drawn to me." He raised his hand, palm up, and concentrated. It had been a rainy, humid day, and it was quite easy to draw a tiny drop of water out of the very air. Akari stared at the little pearl glistening on his palm, breath stuck to her throat.

Hikaru gave her a lopsided smile. "So, what do you think of that? Freaky?"

She raised her eyes to Hikaru's. "I'm glad you did come back," was all she whispered.

"Yeah, well…" Hikaru looked awkwardly away, wiped his hand on his pants. "Of course I did. What'd I do in the water? So, that's all. If you've got no other questions, I'll continue reading." He picked up the manga again and opened it. Akari stood up quietly.

"See you," she said quietly as she left. Hikaru just mumbled something without even looking at her.

Next time they met Hikaru gave her a searching look, wondering how she felt now she had had time to think about it. Did it freak her out? Or did she even believe it? She behaved quite normally, though, talking of other, ordinary things, and he couldn't quite bring the matter up. Only when they were parting she stopped and grasped his hand, watching the thin skin between his fingers. Then she gave it a hard squeeze.

"Next time we go swimming I'm so _not_ inviting you with us either." She was smiling and her tone was light, but there was something serious in her eyes.

Hikaru just snorted at her and pulled his hand back, and they went their way. They didn't talk about the beach anymore after that, but there were others who hadn't quite forgotten it yet. The school started again, and one day as Hikaru was leaning against the wall, waiting for the class to start, he noticed someone stopping by him.

"So what happened at the beach?"

Hikaru looked up. A few boys from his class were standing around him. "What do you mean?"

"We heard you disappeared, for a long while. And then just suddenly dove up. Matsuda said there was something freaky about it, that everyone thought you'd drown, that no one could stay under water so long, and that your hair had grown really long too…"

"He's an idiot," Hikaru snorted. "And I didn't dive for that long. They just panicked cause they thought I can't swim."

"How _can_ you swim?" another boy asked. "I mean, you never take part into the swimming lessons. We thought you had some condition so you can't swim. And now you're suddenly diving around like nothing!"

"Has it something to do with… with water?" yet another asked, very quietly.

Hikaru barked out a laugh. "Yeah, I think swimming does have something to do with water, Einstein!"

"I just meant… that time in elementary school," the boy went on, an annoyed tone in his voice, and suddenly Hikaru realized that he was one of those who had once cornered him in the school toilet.

"What?" The others turned to him. "What time?" They'd come from a different school, so they didn't know about it.

"Nothing," Hikaru said, but the boy went on, watching him with a suspicious frown.

"There was one time in the elementary school we had big water damage at the toilet. He was there, and he got angry… and suddenly all places were sprouting water, just like that."

The boys stared at him with wide eyes. "Did you cause it somehow?" one of them said, turning to Hikaru.

Hikaru rolled his eyes. "Don't be stupid. How could I?"

"But that'd be so cool!" the boy went on, not listening to him. "Kind of like water bending, right? Can you really do stuff like that?"

Hikaru just stared at him a moment. "Don't be stupid," he then repeated, quite flatly, and turned to walk away.

"Water bending," the other boys' laughter carried from behind his back. "You believe in stuff like that?"

"Hey, who knows!" he heard the boy defend himself. "And you said yourself there was something strange about what happened at the beach!"

The boys kept on laughing, but from that day on they started to call Hikaru the Last Waterbender.

 _You know, Sai_ , Hikaru thought quietly one night, lying in his bed on his back, arms under his head, _I think you're wrong. People_ have _changed. They aren't such cowards anymore to get scared of weird things. Well, not all of them, anyway. They're worse!_ He paused. "They're curious," he said then aloud. "Imagine, if people found out about us! We'd never have a day of peace! There'd be journalists running after us and all kinds of freaks wanting to do experiments and scientists too, and who knows what. We'd better keep quiet about this."

 _You might have a point_ , Sai conceded quietly. _This time of yours is really quite strange._

-

Hikaru might have found his new nickname annoying, or at least claimed so, but in truth there was something about it that appealed to him. Sai was mildly amused, once he explained the joke to him, though overall he found it quite silly. _Like I once told Torajiro, no one controls water. Or bends it. But... are you sure it's alright that they joke like that? What if someone believes it?_

Hikaru snorted. _Only a fool would believe a tale like that. And we don't have to be afraid of fools, do we?_

 _Even fools can be dangerous,_ Sai said thoughtfully. But in truth what worried him more than that was the constant aloofness that was following Hikaru day after day, and the way the boy had almost lost himself in the river. He remembered the effect this had had on Torajiro, and watched Hikaru for any signs of trouble. The boy seemed to be perfectly normal, though; or as normal as he had been in the recent days. Perhaps, he mused, it was just because Hikaru hadn't entered the water quite as wholly as Torajiro had, and also, this had been a strange river for Hikaru, while Torajiro had most likely been in his own birth waters. Even so, he couldn't quite believe that what had happened wouldn't have any effect on Hikaru, and this time, he vowed to himself, he would not lower his guard. Ever.

Whether or not the boy realized how closely he was being watched he couldn't tell. Hikaru went on as before – somehow lethargic, uninterested, not really concentrating on anything. His grades were falling, again, and though both his parents and Sai attempted to make him study more diligently, it seemed to be useless. Sai couldn't quite understand what had happened, and when. It had started before the events at the river, that he knew. And after Tokyo... but what could have caused such a change in the boy?

 _Hikaru_ , he said one day, quite seriously, when the boy was lying on his bed with a manga he didn't read, _what's the matter?_

"What do you mean?" Hikaru muttered aloud.

_You... you're still not yourself. You're not happy. What happened?_

"Nothing." Hikaru turned a page, his eyes skimming over the pictures.

_That can't be true. Something... something is going on. Please, talk to me. Torajiro didn't let me help him. I don't want you to end up the same way._

Hikaru paused for a moment. Then he rolled on his back. _You can't really think I'm going to drown myself or something? Sai?_

 _I... I don't_ think _so, but... you seem somehow, depressed. And that's not you._

"I'm not depressed," Hikaru muttered. But somehow the way he said it was wrong too. He should have snorted, laughed, called Sai an idiot. Now he just stated it as a dry fact.

Maybe it's true, Sai thought to himself. But... _but you're not happy either,_ he finished aloud.

Hikaru sighed, and closed his eyes. _I don't know. Happy? I was happy in the water. And when I play go with Touya. Other than that... it's just pointless._

_What is pointless?_

"Everything!" Hikaru sat up suddenly. "Everything," he repeated, muttering, his eyes wandering over his room. "I think I... somehow understand what Torajiro meant when he said he wasn't sure if he was meant to live like this."

 _But..._ I _don't understand it. Hikaru, why? What is it in life that made you both so... so, restless?_

"You died so young, Sai," Hikaru said softly. _I didn't_ die _, really_ , Sai tried to put in, but Hikaru didn't listen. "Yes you did. In a way. You were, what, thirteen?" Now he did snort. "You call a thirteen year old an adult? Idiotic. Anyway, do you really remember what life was like for you? Truly?"

Sai stayed quiet, trying to recall. He remembered his mother and their home, his father too, though much more dimly. He remembered his mother's go board, and playing on it, and the white walls of the city when he had ventured out. The colorful sleeves of ladies hanging from the windows of the carriages...

But all that came to him was pictures. How had he _felt_? He remembered a certain kind of restlessness, the one that had driven him out in the end, the will to see the world. (And now he had seen it, traveled across it with the water, to such strange lands he had never even imagined they could exist.) Other than that, there was nothing.

 _...maybe it's the fire pendant I had_ , he said a little lamely in the end, and Hikaru sighed, falling back down on the bed.

"Yeah. Maybe."

Sai went on thinking about it later, when he Hikaru slept. He attempted to return in his memories to his childhood, but he couldn't quite catch it, just some fleeting moments, and they were of no help. So instead he started to think of what had happened to Torajiro, going through all he remembered of their time together, to catch even the smallest clue of where the trouble lay. He wasn't quite sure when Torajiro had started feeling the restlessness... he had been seventeen when they first spoke of it, but he was quite sure it had been troubling the boy for a while. Torajiro had always been a much more closed personality, one who kept his worries to himself and didn't want to trouble his friends with them. Whereas Hikaru was an open book. Perhaps, he thought, their trouble had started approximately at the same age.

Did it have something to do with growing older? He remembered Hikaru's biology lesson, the one where they had been talking about the development during puberty. He had found it a very peculiar subject, but still a bit fascinating. Could this have something to do with those changes? He felt quite at a loss there.

What did happen to a child of water when he grew older? Torajiro... had coped well, or so he had thought. But what did he know, in the end? Perhaps he had just drowned his troubles in the constant go, and in the love he felt for his family.

At least Hikaru had go, too. He thought about the boy they had met at the Tokyo go salon. Touya Akira. Maybe... maybe he shouldn't have told Hikaru not to tell anything to that boy. Maybe it was a mistake to try to keep them apart... would go played only on a machine be enough?

He thought long about it that night, and next day when they were returning home from school, he told of his thoughts to Hikaru.

_So... I was wondering if you should, in the end, contact that boy and... well, I don't know if you should tell him all, but at least... maybe you could play, face to face, again?_

Hikaru was quiet for a long moment. "You're weird, Sai," he muttered then. "You kind of sounded like he'd be my family or something. What do you think he is, my wife? Well, he was girly enough..."

 _I'm serious, Hikaru!_ Sai exclaimed indignantly. _Something must be done, you must realize that!_

"Yeah. I guess." Hikaru stepped in and kicked his shoes off. "I'm home!" he yelled to his mother. _I just don't know what_ , he added quietly to Sai.

He dropped to sit by the kitchen table to eat the snack his mother had prepared for him.

"How was your day?" she asked as he munched his toast, and he shrugged.

"The usual."

"You didn't yet get the math test back?"

"Tomorrow," he mumbled, grimacing inwardly. He didn't want it back.

"Hmm." She, most likely, wasn't too eager to see it either. "Oh, this came today." She gave him the newest number of Go Weekly, and his face brightened considerably. He started leafing it through as he ate.

"You know, Hikaru," his mother said. "We've been thinking that unless your grades start getting better we have to hire you a home tutor."

"Mmmh," he uttered, not listening.

"You must understand that this can't go on," Mitsuko went on. "I know you can do better than this. You will never get into a good college unless your grades improve a lot, and… Hikaru? Are you listening to me? _Hikaru!_ "

Hikaru was staring at the magazine, eyes wide. _The first to pass the pro exam_ , the headline read. And underneath it was the picture of a familiar face.

 _Sai_ , Hikaru whispered in his mind. _Touya's a pro._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No chapter title here, as I didn't know what to call this chapter. (I considered "The Last Summer" but that sounds kind of final...) The story is closing to its end, though. The next chapter will be the last one, I think, unless something unforeseen happens.  
> ETA: Decided to name this chapter for Akari.


	7. Chapter 5: Rivals

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is, finally: the last chapter. I'm sorry about the wait. Although I did know what's going to happen from the beginning, I somehow ran into a huge writer's block with this chapter. Luckily once I got over it the rest of the fic pretty much wrote itself.

**Chapter 5: Rivals**

sai: I heard you're now a pro. Congrats.  
akira: Thank you.  
sai: so what's it like?  
akira: I don't know yet, really. I have passed the pro test, even if I lose the last games, but I won't officially become pro until next year.  
sai: It's just… why?  
akira: That's when all the new pros start…  
sai: no, I meant why did you become pro?  
akira: I'm not sure I understand what you mean  
sai: it's such a weird thing to be, go pro. you really wanna be one?  
akira: Of course I want to be pro! I've always known that! I don't know about you, but I don't want to spend my days lurking anonymously in the shadows of the internet. I'm heading at the top of the go world.  
akira: Sorry if that sounds boastful, but it's true.  
sai: Lurking, huh? And you, you're out to make a name for yourself.  
akira: Yes.  
akira: What about you?  
akira: Aren't you going to be pro?  
akira: Shindou?  
 _sai has logged out_

"He seems to be pretty certain that I'm me," Hikaru remarked to Sai as the computer was shutting down.

 _Yes_ , Sai agreed. _And, you know, I really think you should let him know you are._

Hikaru snorted and stood up, starting to shuffle toward his room. "What happened to all your warnings of never letting anyone know?"

_I'm still worried about that, but I'm even more worried about your current state! Something must be done!_

"Hmm."

_So… how about becoming a pro too?_

Hikaru paused. "What?"

 _You could easily do it!_ Sai's voice was eager, he was clearly excited about the idea. _Akira could, too, and you're above his level._

"Yeah, but…" Hikaru started aloud, but then remembered his mother was home and quieted down. _Why? What's the point? If I want to play, I can do that online._

_Point? Don't you think it'd be fun? Besides, you could surely make your living as a pro, so that'd be one thing less to worry about in the future._

"I don't like the idea of turning go into work," Hikaru muttered. The short instant where something had momentarily brightened his eyes was over, and his look was as bleak as before. Sai dropped the subject – for now. He didn't stop thinking about it, though.

.

Touya Akira was thinking about the very same thing in his room, still staring at the computer screen. He didn't know what the matter was with sai – no, with Shindou, for he was growing surer and surer that the strange boy who had dropped in at the go salon was truly this mysterious net player. Everything fitted – apart from the young age, which really was a surprise.

He had decided to be patient and not to push Shindou, figuring the boy most likely had his reasons to keep his identity secret (he _hoped_ so, though at times he couldn't help wondering if Shindou was just being annoying on purpose.) But no matter how patiently he waited, sai/Shindou didn't seem to be about to answer his questions.

And why… _why_ wasn't he a pro? Wasn't he even planning to become one? It made no sense that someone with such skills would not join the ranks of the professional players. At first he had thought that perhaps sai suffered of some kind of medical condition that forced him to play only online, but Shindou certainly had moved quite nimbly when he had bolted out of the go salon. His hands were strange, yes, but surely _that_ couldn't be the reason he was hiding. Shouldn't something like that be easily fixed, anyway?

No, he was sure the real reason lay elsewhere. Though he couldn't think of anything else, unless…

A new thought occurred to him, one he didn't like. What if sai – Shindou – was somehow mentally handicapped? That would explain why he had panicked the way he had, out of the blue, and also why he so insistently hid his identity. Moreover, Akira remembered reading somewhere about autistic people and how they could be inexplicably good at various things – so why not go, too?

He closed his eyes and thought. _If_ he was on the right track and this was the true reason behind Shindou's strange behavior… well, it was unfortunate, but couldn't be helped. But surely that wouldn't have to keep a player of Shindou's quality shunned from the world of pros and condemned to play only in the peripheries of the internet… _that_ wasn't right.

He would have to do something.

But first, he reminded himself, he would have to find out if he was right. How? He could hardly just ask someone who was practically a complete stranger about such things. And there was the possibility, unlikely though he found it, that he was completely wrong and sai and Shindou were not connected at all. He doubted that, though. He knew he had seen sai's go in Shindou's game.

What he should do was to find out sai's identity for sure. Meet him, face to face. Meet people who knew him, and then he'd know for sure and be able to decide how to proceed.

…so, in the end, all his thinking had led him round a full circle. It all came down to finding out sai's identity.

 _Aren't you ever going to tell me?_ he asked the next time they played. He got no answer.

…

Every night, in his dreams, Hikaru was in the water. All alone, without even Sai for company… but that was alright. There was peace and calm, and freedom so complete he couldn't even understand it; it was as natural, as self-evident to him as the blood coursing through his veins. _What did you dream about?_ Sai would ask in the morning when he woke up, as if guessing that something was going on, but Hikaru said nothing, just blinked slowly into consciousness.

One such morning Hikaru crawled out of his bed for a silent breakfast and headed then straight for the computer, finding Akira there waiting for him. _I want to meet you_ , flashed on his screen as soon as he logged in.

 _Good morning to you too_ , he typed in, a little peevish.

 _Morning_ , Akira replied. _Sorry. But I mean it. I've had enough of this waiting. I want the truth._

 _And I want a game_ , Hikaru typed, hitting the keyboard hard. _It's too early for talking about such stuff._

_It's not that early. Did you sleep late? Besides, with you there doesn't seem to be a good time to talk about this. So we might as well talk now._

_I said I want a game!_

_Not before we talk. I'm sure I know who you are. I want to meet you and find out the truth behind all this. Can you come to meet me at the go salon?_

_No I can't! I don't even live in Tokyo, idiot! And I want to play here and now!_

_You don't live in Tokyo? But somewhere near, right? Can I come to visit you?_

_Are you going to play or not?_

_…no. Not before you talk to me._

_Whatever._

_(sai has logged out)_

From then on, Akira found himself totally ignored by sai. He tried sending messages at times but got no reply, and so he spent his time online just watching sai's games with others. Already after a few days it was beginning to grow tiresome. He was determined not to cave in and send a game request, though, and after two more days of being just a part of the audience, he decided it was best to stay away a while.

It was harder than he would have thought. This made him a little worried – had he grown addicted to sai's games or what? Nevertheless, he persisted, day after day, refusing to even touch his computer. A week passed with him being completely in the dark where sai was concerned, and he spent his days wondering how things were going online, if sai was playing his games as usual or if he had started to wonder about the absence of his most frequent opponent.

Two more days passed, and he decided it had been long enough – it was time to log in again and see how sai would react.

He got online at the time when he and sai used to play their games. Sai was in the middle of a game then, with someone called goshiki. They were in the endgame, and it looked like the game would soon be over. As Akira gave the board a cursory glance he realized this goshiki seemed to be an excellent player, but even so, no match for sai. The game ended to sai's victory, and as soon as it was over sai started a game with someone else.

Akira let out an annoyed breath. Perhaps sai hadn't yet noticed he was back? He sat back to watch the game in silence, but when it ended sai simply logged out without so much as acknowledging his return. Akira told himself again that sai hadn't simply noticed him, but when the same was repeated the next day, and the next, he began to doubt it. In the end he finally gave in and sent a short message, _it's been a while_ , but sai replied nothing. After two more days of no contact, he reluctantly sent a game request. It was declined.

 _Do you really mean you don't want to play with me anymore?_ he messaged sai. _I thought you too enjoyed our games_ , he went on next day. _Why else would you have played so much with me?_

Silence was his only reply as sai went on playing his games with others.

_You think I'm just going to give up if you don't talk to me? That I'll just submit to it that we'd never play again?_

_Shindou! I know it's you and I will yet prove it._

The next day sai didn't log in at all.

That was the day Hikaru first time skipped school. He left home as usual, but instead of getting on the bus he walked through the little village and headed into the forest around it, climbing up into the mountains.

_Hikaru? Where are you going to?_

"Nowhere."

True to his words, the boy stopped soon. He spent the whole day in the woods, doing nothing, just nodding against a big spruce, eyes half-closed, not listening to Sai's worried questions if everything was alright. When he finally went home his mother was quite frantic, not to mention angry, but Hikaru just shrugged her questions off as well. She declared Hikaru was now in home arrest until otherwise told, and that she would be driving him to school and back to make sure he went there. Hikaru just shrugged again, and for a few days did attend school, even if he didn't really follow the teaching.

Then, one day as he watched his mother's car drive away from the school, he wandered off again.

…

Akira was at a loss. A month had passed, and he had not played a single game against sai – hadn't even so much as exchanged a few words. Like once before, all his messages were ignored, and this time he had a feeling that things would not change anytime soon. He was getting desperate enough that he considered even sending an apology, promising he would let the matter rest in the future... but he was reluctant to do that, for he knew he might not be able to keep that promise.

Besides, he couldn't really be sure if sai would read his messages. After all, sai had now all but disappeared from internet – he did still occasionally appear there, playing a game or two, but the times were now highly irregular. A few times Akira had missed his games just because he had been at school, and this made him wonder if he had been wrong assuming sai and Shindou were the same person – after all, shouldn't Shindou be at school too?

Then again, as he carefully went through the records of the games, he clearly saw that it must have been the "other sai", the one he had named Teacher, who had been playing.

That was even more worrisome, though. Wasn't Shindou using the internet at all anymore?

He was beginning to despair over what to do, when he found a rather unexpected comrade in arms. One day, at the meeting of the Meijin's study group, Ogata suddenly brought sai up. They had finished their discussion of the latest league games, and were gradually beginning to end the meeting, when he suddenly gave Akira a strange look.

"I've noticed that you haven't played against sai for a long time, Akira-kun," he said.

"He's not been online much recently," Akira muttered, not really wanting to discuss this in his father's presence.

"I've noticed," Ogata said dryly. "Do you have any idea why?"

"Why would I know?" Akira said, trying to keep the annoyance from his voice.

"It's just that…" Ogata started, but their discussion had caught the attention of others.

"Are you a sai-fan too?" Ashiwara exclaimed happily, cutting off whatever Ogata had been about to say. The man shot him an annoyed look.

"Not really. But I find him intriguing – both his game and his… mystery, should I say. And the reason I asked you, Akira-kun," he went on, turning back to Akira, "is simply because you're the one who has played the most against him. If you don't know what's going on with him, who would?"

"I don't know anything." Akira shrugged uncomfortably. "He doesn't talk to me either."

"That's a shame." Something in the look Ogata gave him made Akira doubt he didn't quite believe him.

"But sai really is quite something!" Ashiwara put in, happily oblivious. "I wish I'd get to play him some day, but there are always so many people it's hopeless. And it's even harder nowadays when he's all but gone…" He gave a great sigh. "I've been hoping we might, maybe, some day, discuss some of his games here, but…" He glanced at the Meijin, who had been following the discussion very quietly, and fell silent, perhaps sensing that there was something awkward in the air.

"That would be interesting," Ogata said calmly. "I guess we could next time – if it's alright to you – discuss my game with him. It…"

"You've played with sai?!" Ashiwara exclaimed at the same time as Akira asked, a little incredulous, "You play online go, Ogata-san?"

"Well, yes," Ogata replied, adjusting his glasses. "Occasionally. And this was quite an interesting game, I can tell you. Though the game I'd most like to see," he went on, shooting a sideward glance toward the Meijin, "is one between you and sai, sensei."

Akira sat very, very quietly, staring at his hands. He heard his father give a quiet breath, one he knew to signify either annoyance or amusement, and hoped.

"This sai truly has grown popular, hasn't he?" the Meijin remarked dryly. "If it is as you say, that he is not much online anymore, it sounds like it might be quite hard for us to arrange a game. Besides…"

"I could ask him, father," Akira put in hurriedly, before his father would outright decline. "I could send him a message, that is…" He hoped sai still read his messages on those few times he logged in.

"Sounds like an idea," Ogata said.

The Meijin fell quiet. He watched all the faces whose attention was at the moment fixed to him: Ogata's unreadable, nonchalant expression, Ashiwara's badly hidden excitement, and the hope in his son's eyes, and he sighed.

"Fine. Ask – we'll see what he says."

…

The next time Hikaru and Sai logged in, there was a message from Akira waiting for them: Would you like to play against my father?

 _Akira's father?_ Sai asked slowly. _Wait, isn't that…_

"The Meijin, yeah," Hikaru muttered.

_The best player currently living! Yes, Hikaru, yes! Tell him I do want to!_

You _want to? What about me?_ Hikaru asked, mildly amused.

 _I…_ Sai paused. _That is… do you want to play this game, Hikaru? I mean, of course, if you… or maybe, maybe we could ask him for two games…_

_You can play him, Sai. It's fine for me._

_…are you sure? I wouldn't…_

"It's fine." Hikaru turned back to the computer and typed in, Okay. When?

…

It had been a long and anxious wait before sai replied to his message, and when he finally did there was no way Akira could hide his excitement. When the day of the game arrived, he locked himself into his room. Others in the study group had asked him to follow the game with them, but he felt he would rather watch it alone. He wasn't sure why, but he was convinced that this game would, in one way or another, bring about a change. It had better, he thought – he was completely at an impasse where Shindou was concerned, and he was growing sick of it.

When he logged in he saw that there already were quite a lot people online, from all around the world. They had tried to keep quiet about the game, but apparently word had leaked out. Personally he suspected Ashiwara – not that it mattered. Why shouldn't everyone get a chance to witness this game?

He saw his father's name among the people online, and it was a rather peculiar feeling. Sai, though, hadn't yet arrived. The minutes ticked by painfully slowly, and still there was no sign of him. Akira sat at the edge of his chair, staring intently at the list of usernames, suddenly half panicking – what if he wouldn't come? If he had changed his mind, or hadn't ever truly meant to play this game in the first place? Or if something had happened that kept him from playing, or...

At exactly the agreed time sai appeared, and the game started without any fanfares or formalities.

It was clear from the very beginning that this was no ordinary game. Akira watched in silence, letting the game sweep himself away, following the rhythm of the moves without bothering yet to think of them – there would yet be time to analyze and overanalyze this game. Now, he wanted just to enjoy it.

And he did. Every move carried him further, as if floating on the waves of an immense ocean where the shore couldn't be seen, and very soon he had all but forgotten everything this game was about, immersed into its complicated beauty. When the last move was suddenly played, it took him a while to realize the game was over. Slowly, as if returning from somewhere far away, he returned to reality, and realized his father had lost.

…

Far away from Akira, Hikaru and Sai were too staring at the finished game.

 _What a wonderful game!_ Sai breathed then, joy in his voice. _I'm so happy you let me play, Hikaru..._

"If he had played there," Hikaru said, not listening, "he'd have had a chance."

Sai paused. _True,_ he said then. _There were ways in which he could have won this game. But even so..._

Hikaru shut down the computer without even bothering to log out first, ignoring the messages flooding at them. He stood up and started shuffling toward his room.

"Hikaru?" His mother appeared in the kitchen doorway. "Is your game over? Didn't you win?"

He had considered long where to play the game, and in the end decided that home was best. He'd told his mother just that he had an important game then and asked her not to bother him, which she thankfully hadn't done, though she had seemed a little amused about it.

"Sure we won," Hikaru muttered, and she blinked.

"We? Was it a team game?" she asked, but Hikaru already slammed the door shut behind him.

_What's the matter, Hikaru?_

Sai was watching the boy worriedly as he slumped on his bed, lying on his back. He had thought this game might cheer Hikaru up, and momentarily it truly had seemed to, but now the boy's mood appeared to be even lower than before.

"That," Hikaru muttered aloud numbly, "was the best this world can offer."

_...yes? What do you mean? Wasn't it a beautiful game?_

"Yeah, I guess. It's just that... I think I could have won it, too."

 _Possibly_ , Sai admitted.

"So what's the point!" Hikaru sat up suddenly, slamming his palms against the bed. "What's the point just to play games you _know_ you can win? If I become a pro like you'd want me to, that's all I'd be doing! You... you're the only one, who..." He sighed, and fell back down on the bed.

 _But, Hikaru, it's not about winning, is it?_ Sai admonished him gently. _Didn't this game prove it to you? You agreed that it was a beautiful game. I knew half-way through that I would win it – but did that somehow diminish its beauty? I think not._

"I don't know," Hikaru muttered. "It's just that... that..."

_Yes?_

_Leave me be already!_ Hikaru shrieked in his mind, grasped his pillow and threw it into the wall. A moment he stared after it, then curled up on his bed, ignoring Sai's startlement.

…

As days passed by, Akira was growing more and more irritated. Since the game with the Meijin, sai had been gone. He hadn't been online a single time after that, and – obviously – not replied to any of the messages he had sent him. Now that his father too had come over and told him he had been wrong to tell him to avoid sai, now sai was the one avoiding him – him and the rest of the world.

"If he doesn't want to reveal his identity, he must have reasons for it," the Meijin had said. "And it doesn't matter who he is, in the end. But if you do get contact to him, tell him I'd be honored to play him again."

Akira had promised, of course, while in truth he had wanted to scream _what do you mean it doesn't matter who he is?!_ His father simply didn't understand. _If_ sai was Shindou... _that_ mattered. It couldn't have mattered more. Though he couldn't believe that Shindou could have played this game; that was little too frightening. Perhaps, he mused, he had been correct and there _were_ two of them. Surely this had been the teacher playing.

...and that, of course, led to the question why _two_ people of such skill would want to hide.

He let out an exasperated sigh. He had hoped the game to bring around a change; if it had, the change had not been to the better.

One day, a few weeks after the game, he stopped by the Ki'in to get some papers as the time when he would fully start his career as a pro was getting closer. It was a chilly day, and he went to the café to spend a moment with a warm cup of tea. A group of insei were sitting at the next table, some of them looking vaguely familiar – he thought they had most likely taken part into the pro exam, too. With some wry amusement he heard them talking about sai. The game with his father had really kickstarted all speculation about sai again, both online and in real life. In fact, it was beginning to grow a little irritating. He decided to empty his cup quickly, not wanting to listen to the discussion any longer than he had to.

"...but I'd say at the very least the game with the Meijin proves that theory wrong," someone was saying, and Akira sighed. He didn't want to be thinking about that game right now.

"Yeah, I know. But it did make sense until then, didn't it? I mean, who else but a kid could be online at those times?"

Akira shot a curious glance toward them. So, someone else too had been thinking sai could be a child. He was a little surprised at that.

Even so, he didn't plan to stay there eavesdropping any more. He drank the last of his tea and rose to go.

"So now that you have that info, what are you going to do with it?" a girl asked right when he walked by the little group, and he paused, glancing toward them. Did she mean some info about sai, or were they talking about something else...?

"I don't know," a boy replied, the same who had said sai might have been a kid. "Nothing, I guess. I'm not going to shout it out loud in the internet, at least. Besides, I've got nothing specific."

"So why did you do it in the first place?" another boy asked, laughing.

"I dunno! I guess I was curious. I..." He paused, frowning. "What are _you_ staring at?" he snapped at Akira, having noticed how Akira had frozen by their table. At that moment Akira remembered him, the insei from the pro exam who had been strangely hostile toward him. He also remembered the boy's go, which was almost but not quite strong enough for pro, but couldn't for the life of him remember his name.

"Nothing, I..." He almost turned and went his way, but curiosity got over. "I'm sorry, I happened to hear a part of your conversation, and... were you talking about sai? Do you know something about him?"

"What if I do? None of your business."

"Waya!" the other boy admonished him. "What's the matter with you?"

Waya Yoshi-something, Akira remembered. And the older boy, he too had been in the pro exam. _He_ should have passed, Akira thought, instead of that Mashiba-guy. His name was... Isumi? He was quite sure of that. The girl he couldn't quite remember.

"I'm sorry," he said again. "I realize this is rude of me. I'm Touya Akira," he gave a little bow and ignored Waya's "as if we didn't know" mutter. "Ever since my father played that game with sai, he's been wishing to get to play him again, but sai seems to have vanished completely... so, I was thinking that if you have any information about him at all, no matter how small, we'd be thankful about it."

A moment the three at the table just stared at each other. Then Isumi raised his eyebrows a little, questioningly, at Waya, and the other boy leaned back, groaning.

"Fine!" he exclaimed. "But _I_ wasn't the one who told you. I don't want to get into any trouble over this."

"If you don't want to get into trouble you should think of that _before_ you do stupid stuff," the girl muttered with a small smile, but she was ignored.

"I got sai's IP address," Waya said, "and..."

"What?" Akira cut him off, astonished. "How did you get it?"

Waya shot him a glare. " _That_ you don't need to know. Anyway, I got it, and based on it he lives, well, in the middle of nothing. Mind you, these things aren't overly accurate. The location I got might be miles off."

"Still, it's better than nothing!" Akira could feel his heart speeding up. "Please, tell me more! Where is that 'middle of nothing'?"

A little grudgingly Waya did tell him all he knew, and Akira rushed straight out. He could come to get those papers some other day. He ran all the way home from the metro station and headed straight to his computer to do some research.

It was like Waya had said. The location could hardly be quite exact. But it gave him some kind of an idea of the possible area where sai might live. And he had something Waya didn't have. He had a name.

A quick search through the telephone catalogs gave him one hit in the area. Shindou Mitsuko.

He stared at the name. Thought about picking up the phone and making a call. _Hello, is Hikaru-kun home?_ And if they said there was no Hikaru... well, then he'd just apologize and say he had a wrong number.

Or maybe it would be Shindou who picked up the phone.

What would he say to him? Hi, it's me. Touya. Remember? I told you I'd find you.

He could feel his palms sweating. It was so simple. So simple, and so... frightening. For some reason he realized he was terrified.

This was his only connection to Shindou. And if it was a false one... then he had nothing. _Arimasen_. _I have lost_.

He went to bed that night, unusually quiet. Sleep avoided him, and he lay awake on his bed, staring at the ceiling, his mind working at high speed, and during those quiet hours of the night it did come up with a somewhat insane plan. He got up in the dark and turned on his computer. After a long while the plan had been perfected, and he went back to bed, this time falling asleep almost immediately.

The plan did seem perfectly reasonable to him in the night, but in the morning when he woke up he started wondering. Still, it was the only plan he had, so when he packed his backpack for school, he put secretly in a water bottle, a sandwich, a map and his notes.

He was sure when he left home that his parents must notice something was off, but they said nothing. He walked out, passed the metro station, and a weird feeling in the pit of his stomach didn't go down for the train that would take him to school but walked on, until he reached a bus stop.

There he dug out his notes. He'd have to change buses on the way, but other than that, it seemed quite straightforward. It would take nearly three hours to get there. And three hours to get back – that didn't leave him much time. But it had to be enough.

Standing there, eagerly waiting for the bus, he didn't notice the red sports car before it stopped by him. Then, he turned away with a start, feverishly wondering where to hide – but of course it was already too late.

Ogata rolled down the car window. "Morning, Akira-kun. Going somewhere?"

"Ye-yeah," he stuttered, turning back to him. "I've got... some... things to do."

"I thought you had school today," Ogata said, watching the list of the busses that stopped at this stop. "Are the things you've got to do go-related?"

"Yes. Kind of. In a way."

Ogata gave him a long look, and he tried to look normal. How _did_ one look normal? Suddenly he couldn't quite remember. Should he smile? Probably not.

"Do your parents know about your in a way go-related things to do?" Ogata asked, and he bit his lip, not knowing what to say. As he remained silent, Ogata gave a little laugh. "Jump in, kid. I'll give you a ride. C'mon!" He nodded his head demandingly, and not knowing what else to do Akira got in.

"So, where is it you're going?" Ogata asked as he drove away from the bus stop. Akira considered the reply a long while.

"To Kanba town," he finally said.

The look Ogata gave him was honestly astonished. "Kanba? Where is that?"

Silently Akira took out his map and showed him. Ogata stared at the map a long while.

"And why are you going there?" he asked.

"I've got a lead on sai," Akira said levelly.

It was almost worth it, he thought, for the look he got from Ogata then. The car made a little lurch, and quickly turning his attention back to the road the man steered it straight again.

"A lead, huh?" he said, looking at Akira in the corner of his eye. "How good a lead? …must be good enough, if it makes you skip school."

"I hope so," Akira muttered. "It might be false too."

"Well, I did promise you a ride, didn't I?" Ogata mused. "It's a bit longer than I thought, but sure, why not."

As the car sped on, Akira was carefully weighing the pros and cons in his mind. By car the trip would be much faster, that was a definite pro. But he wasn't sure if he wanted to have Ogata with him when he met Shindou. No, in fact he _was_ sure he _didn't_ want to have the man anywhere close by. It would just complicate things, and there was no way to know how Shindou might react.

So, he'd have to somehow get rid of Ogata once they reached the town. Send him somewhere else while he visited–– He suddenly realized something he should have realized much earlier. Shindou had to be at school, didn't he? That might complicate things. But, he reasoned, it was too late to change his mind. There was nothing else to do than to deal with the potential complications as he faced them.

…

This day Hikaru truly had gone to school as he was supposed to, and had stayed there, too. This was beginning to be more an exception than a rule, to the degree that Hikaru's teacher had already had two meetings with his mother, and most likely would soon have another, if things weren't to change. And they didn't seem to be – Hikaru appeared to be quite deaf to all nagging, begging, threatening and bribing.

Sai followed him around very quietly, not drawing any attention to himself. Recently Hikaru had grown more and more irritable, losing his tempter without a warning, and Sai didn't want to say or do anything that would lead to him leaving school once again, now that he for once was there.

Though little difference it made where he was – Sai could see that the boy wasn't paying any attention at all in the class. _Hikaru,_ he'd whisper when he noticed the boy had no clue what was going on, _the teacher asked you the years of the Tokugawa Shogunate. That's… from 1600 to 1868, right?_

"1600 to 1868," Hikaru muttered half-heartedly.

"Correct, Shindou-kun," the teacher said, sounding perhaps a little surprised. "Nice to see you're awake."

Hikaru just slumped back down on his desk.

"Hikaru?" During the lunch break, Akari came to him and sat down beside him with hesitant air. She too had apparently come to the same conclusion as Sai and decided it was best to tread carefully around the boy. "Are you coming to the club today?"

Hikaru had, for a while, started attending the club more diligently, but now his interest had faded again. And as it was, if he didn't go to school, he most likely wouldn't be coming to the go club, either.

"I don't know," he stated shortly, watching glumly his untouched food and not her.

"We've got a new member since the last time you were there," Akari went on. "He's a beginner, but still. I thought maybe you'd like to meet him."

Hikaru shrugged. "Maybe." Akari didn't seem to know what to say, so she just leaned back in silence, watching him worriedly.

"I'm probably not coming," he suddenly said, and Akari frowned.

"Why not?" she couldn't help exclaiming. "Hikaru!"

"He's not coming?" someone asked. Hikaru shot an annoyed look up and saw two of the boysin the go club.

"What about it?" he snapped. "I don't have to if I don't want to."

"It's called mandatory club activity, Hikaru," Akari pointed out quietly. No one paid attention to her.

"If you're not coming, that's fine!" the boy went on. He turned to Akari. "If Shindou's not coming, I'll be the new club president."

Akari just sighed. The frown on Hikaru's face deepened. "You? Taking over my club? As if!"

"You can't call it your club if you're never there," Akari put in quietly.

Hikaru shot her a glare. "You're siding with them?"

"I wouldn't want to! But, Hikaru, I seriously don't know what's the matter with you anymore. It's not fair to the others, if their captain never shows up…"

"I never wanted the damn club in the first place! And after I founded it for you, you're kicking me out?"

"If you never wanted it, why don't you just leave!" the boy from the club yelled, leaning across the table to stare Hikaru in the eye. "No one wants you there anyway, water freak, except maybe her. It's not like we needed you for anything!"

Hikaru glared at him over his lunch. Sai's voice was whispering in the back of his mind, telling him to calm down, and breaking the eye contact he took a sip of his water, attempting to do that. And failed. "Think so?" he couldn't help snorting. "I'm a better player than you all put together, and…"

"Who cares! Doesn't matter if you're the best player in the world, we still wouldn't want you in our club! You're just getting freakier all the time, so stay aw…"

" _Shut up!_ " Hikaru's fingers had tightened around his glass, and suddenly his hand moved, throwing the water on the boy's face – except that it wasn't just his hand that did the throwing, but his mind as well. The water hit the boy with strength, knocking him down. A moment every stood in silence, then a girl at the next table screamed.

It didn't take long for two teachers to rush at the place. By then the boy was scrambling back to his feet, helped by his friends, and they had gained quite an audience.

"What is it? What happened?" one of the teacher's exclaimed, while the other hurried to see if the boy was alright.

"Shindou hit him!" one of the students shouted.

"No, he threw _water_ on him!" another corrected.

"Last waterbender, huh…" someone muttered.

"What? Water?" The teachers watched confusedly the boy's wet face.

"Yeah, I saw it!" a first-year girl was saying, a frantic look in her eyes. "He just threw water, and _bam!_ it knocked him down!"

"Don't be stupid," Akari put in hurriedly. "That's just impossible! I was right next to him and I saw it all. Hikaru, why did you hit him like that?"

"If Shindou just hit him," someone muttered, "why does he have bruises all over his face?"

The teachers looked quite at a loss, looking from the boy's bruised face to Hikaru who was sitting quietly by the table and to the other students who were all clearly freaked out. "Well," one of them finally said, "You take Sato-kun to the nurse," he said to the companion, "and you're coming with me, Shindou-kun. We need to figure out what really…"

At that moment the fire sprinklers turned on, and water sprouted on all of them. There was a moment's stunned silence, then the fire alarm went off.

"Right." One of the teachers took a deep breath. "We've had fire drills, you know what do. Everyone, out of here, in order! No running!"

Despite the teachers' orders, something of a chaos ensued, and Hikaru took the chance and slipped away, to his locker, and took his shoes, coat and backpack. Not wanting anyone to see him leaving he headed to a side door and slipped out, unnoticed – by anyone else but Akari.

"Hikaru? Where are you going?" the girl shouted as he started jogging away. Glancing over his shoulder he saw to his annoyance that she was all set to follow him, with her bag and outdoor clothes.

"None of your business," he muttered and went on.

"I really think you should stay here and straighten everything out," Akari said, hurrying after him. "It will only make things worse if you run away."

"Why did you say I hit him?" Hikaru asked, completely ignoring what she was saying. "Didn't you see what happened?"

"Yeah, I did." Akari swallowed. "But it would just cause more trouble, to tell them that. And… did you make the sprinklers turn on? Hikaru? That was just stupid, it will cause even more rumors!"

Hikaru said nothing. Having arrived to a bus stop he stopped to wait for a bus. Akari glanced at his face and seeing his closed expression decided it was best just to follow him quietly for now.

…

As the car speed toward Kanba, Akira found himself happy he had taken also his school books with him, to read in the bus. Otherwise the ride would have turned quite awkward. Ogata had attempted to find out more about his information, and he had merely said something indefinite about an IP address and then pretended to be studying diligently, and thankfully Ogata had left him in peace. He found it quite impossible to really concentrate on his books, but at least they saved him from trying to keep up a conversation.

When they finally arrived to the town, Ogata drove to a small parking lot (to be exact, it was just sandy square, but as there were a couple of cars there, they figured it probably served as a parking lot) and the car rolled softly to a stop. A moment they just sat in silence, watching out. Then Ogata turned to look at him.

"Are you sure this is the right place?"

"I… think so," Akira said, and opened the door.

Of course, he had known this would be a small place, but it was still surprising to see how small it was. For a boy who had rarely left Tokyo, a town with basically one street and not a single crossing with traffic lights was something nearly incomprehensible.

So.

"How about we separate?" Akira suggested as innocently as he could. "You could talk with adults, and I… I'll try to find some kids. It's easier for me to talk with them if you're not looming over my shoulder," he pointed out, when Ogata gave him a narrow-eyed look.

The man considered this a moment, and nodded then. "Fine. This is a small enough place you shouldn't be able to get lost. Let's meet here in half an hour. Call me if you find anything."

"Sure!" With a nod for goodbye Akira started walking briskly away, hardly daring to believe it could be this easy. After a while he glanced over his shoulder and saw that Ogata had disappeared, most likely entered a small shop, and he paused to think. Should he go to Shindou's school, or try to find his home instead? He wouldn't have wanted to waste any time, but thinking about it, it might be best to check first that he was in the right town, before going to a school looking for a student who didn't exist.

Now, the question was, where in the town was Shindou's home?

An elderly woman was watching him curiously as he passed her by, and he quickly made his mind and turned back to her, asking her the way.

The woman gave a laugh. "Oh dear, that is one of the roads leading here! It's out of town." She paused, thinking. "There are not many people living out there," she went then on. "Have you come to visit the Shindous?"

Akira's heart jumped. "Yes! Their son is a friend of mine."

"Oh? Hikaru-kun?" Akira's heart jumped again. "Interesting. Who knew he had friends outside town, he seems to be such a loner."

"I met him when he was visiting Tokyo," Akira said, deciding to see if he could find out anything else from the woman. "We played some go, but he had to leave quite hastily."

"Go?" The woman's look was genuinely surprised. "I wouldn't have believed that boy would… though he surely is strange enough…" She paused, a little embarrassed, seeming to suddenly remember she was talking to a friend of Hikaru's.

"You didn't know he plays go?" Akira said, curious. Did Shindou hide his skills so completely?

"Oh, I don't know much about him, after all. One just… hears things… This is a small town, you know. Everyone knows everyone's business." She gave him a wink, and Akira smiled politedly.

"Thank you," he said with a little bow. "You've been very helpful. But, actually, I think he must be at school now, so maybe I could go to see him there. Could you tell me where the middle school is?"

The woman laughed out loud again, and explained then that this was a too small place for a middle school. "We only have an elementary school," she said. "The children go to the middle school in the next town."

This was another complication he hadn't foreseen. He thanked the woman again, and wondered what to do. Ask Ogata to drive him to the next town? Find a bus and go there by himself? He had noticed a bus station – one so small he wasn't sure if 'station' really was the correct word– when they drove through the town, but… He didn't even know how long the bus trip would take. He imagined Ogata having to call his parents and tell them he had lost their son in a small town in the middle of nowhere, and decided it was most likely best to avoid that scene. Ogata would not forgive him easily, and neither would his parents.

Besides, given the size of the village, there was a great possibility of Ogata once again spotting him waiting for a bus. That would be difficult to explain.

Even so his feet carried him to the bus stop. As he stood there, trying to make his mind, a bus arrived and emptied its few passengers on the street. He was so deep in thought he almost didn't notice anything, but suddenly bright yellow bangs registered in his mind.

"Shindou!" he exclaimed, and the boy turned to look.

It really was him. Akira couldn't quite believe his luck – were school days this short in the countryside? "Shindou," he repeated more calmly, and walked to the boy. "I told you I'd find you, didn't I?"

Hikaru was just staring at him, face frozen. He shifted from foot to foot, waiting for the boy say something, but nothing happened.

"Hikaru? Who is this?" someone finally broke the silence – a girl standing behind Hikaru's back.

"No one," Hikaru stated shortly and turned on his heels. Akira blinked at his back.

"What do you mean, no one? Shindou!" He rushed after the boy, and grasping his arm spun him around. "How can you say so? I… I know I'm not on your level, but didn't you enjoy our games at all?"

Hikaru stood very still, eyes closed. Then he wrenched his arm free. "That's beyond the point," he muttered. "Get lost. What are you doing here in the first place?"

"What am I doing here?!" Akira exclaimed in annoyance. "What'd you think! And do you really imagine I'd come all this way just to leave cause you say so?"

"Whatever." Hikaru went on, hands in his pockets, not bothering even to look at Akira. Akira glared at his back, but the other didn't turn back. He opened his mouth, but considered then, remembering the girl. Glancing at her he saw she was watching him curiously, and he nodded his head to her.

"I'm Touya Akira," he said. "I met Shindou-kun a bit over a year ago, around the new year, when they were in Tokyo."

"Fujisaki Akari," the girl said, and hesitated then, clearly somewhat at a loss.

"Have you known Shindou-kun for long?" Akira asked. She nodded.

"All my life." She looked after Hikaru, who was still walking briskly away. "I'm sorry, I have to go," she said suddenly, and started hurrying after him.

"Wait!" Akira said quietly after her. "Is something wrong? Why aren't you two at school?"

Akari glanced back at him. "No, nothing's wrong, it's just… just that… well, there was a fire alarm at school, so…" Her voice trailed off.

"A fire alarm?" Akira said, surprised.

"Yeah." She seemed quite ill at ease. "It was false though... but… I have to go," she finished suddenly and ran off.

Akira stood still a moment, wondering, and then hurried after her. Akari had almost reached Hikaru, but curiously remained behind him, following him instead of walking by his side. Akira caught up with her, more and more certain that something strange was going on. After a short hesitation he whispered to Akari, very, very quietly so that Hikaru surely wouldn't hear him, "Is there something wrong with him?"

"What?" Akari exclaimed. "Of course not!" Something in the forcefulness of her exclamation made Akira wonder just how true it was.

"I was just wondering," Akira said, in a pacifying tone. "When we met in Tokyo, we started playing a game of go, and then he suddenly panicked and ran away." He raised his voice. "Why did you, Shindou? Ran away like that? What were you afraid of?"

"I wasn't afraid of anything!" Hikaru snapped, shooting a glare over his shoulder.

Akira smiled. "So you admit that we've met?"

Hikaru paused. "I never said that we hadn't," he muttered then.

"Do you also admit that you're sai?"

Finally Hikaru turned back to him, giving him a look he couldn't figure out. "You're awfully stubborn," the boy stated dryly. "But just _stop_. It doesn't matter who I am. I'm not going to play with you again, anyway."

"Who is Sai?" Akari asked, confused, but they didn't even hear her question.

"But… why?!" Akira exclaimed, not believing his ears. "We… you… that is, I mean… why…?"

"Because I don't want to!" Hikaru was suddenly yelling. "I don't want to play you or her or _anyone_ else ever again, got that?! …and you be quiet too!" he added, nearly in a scream.

"What…" Akira blinked at him. Who was he talking to? He felt a moment of disquiet, wondering again about his theory of sai's potential mental problems. "Shindou," he said. "I don't know what's wrong, but if there is any way, I want to help you. You're such an amazing player, and… you shouldn't be confined into the shadows. Even my father wants to play with you again! Please let me help you!"

"What makes you think I need – or want – your help?" Hikaru muttered under his breath. "I just want you to go away and leave me in peace!"

Akira opened his mouth and then closed it, not knowing what to say. "Just go away," Hikaru muttered again and turned to go, and unable to decide what to do Akira just stood watching after him.

Akari gave him a hesitant glance but left then after Hikaru. She hadn't taken many steps when the boy suddenly spun around.

"And why are _you_ following me? I want you _both_ leave me alone already!" he yelled, and Akari paused mid-step, looking startled.

"What _is_ the matter with him?" Akira asked when Hikaru disappeared behind a corner.

"I don't know," Akari sighed. "He's… been changing. He used to be so happy and carefree, but now… day after day he seems somehow more and more… angry. Misbalanced. Something." She looked at Akira. "So, tell me again, who are you and why are you here?"

Akira did, explaining to her everything about his meeting with Hikaru, and about the incredibly strong net go player, sai. "Have you ever heard that name?" he asked, hopeful, but Akari shook her head with a frown.

"It doesn't sound familiar. But… I know Hikaru is quite a strong player. I'm not sure how strong… I guess I'm not good enough myself to really figure it out. And I know he plays net go – his mom is complaining about him spending too much time online. Or was – he apparently hasn't been playing that much recently."

"Just like sai," Akira breathed. "It _must_ be him! But if he's so good, the best player in the whole world, why is he hiding in this village?"

Akari laughed out loud. "Best player in the world? Hikaru?"

"Yes," Akira said solemnly, watching her into the eyes. "He won against my father, and my father is, or was, in general consider the world's best go-player."

"Oh." Akari quieted. "Are you quite sure it was Hikaru…?"

"Yes," Akira repeated with emphasis. "Now, if I only could figure out what's going on… are you sure he doesn't – I'm sorry to ask this, and I _don't_ mean any offense – have any… you know, condition?"

Akari was quiet. "Depends on what you mean by condition," she said then. "It's… I, I'm sorry. I promised not to tell anyone," she finished, staring at the ground.

"But there is something, then," Akira mused. "Is it something… psychiatric?"

"You mean, is he crazy?" Akari smiled a little wryly. "Most people would probably think he is, if he tried to tell them the truth. It's just too weird to be true. But… I know it is true. And maybe it's what is behind all this…"

She looked at Akira, tightlipped and eyes serious. "You said you wanted to help him? _Can_ you?"

"It would be easier if he let me," Akira said with a sigh. "But I will definitely try."

"Then we need to find him," Akari said firmly, and they hurried into the direction Hikaru had gone.

…

_Hikaru?_

Sai's voice was very quiet, hesitant. A moment Hikaru ignored it, but then he stopped, sighing.

_What?_

_Why did you say that? About not wanting to play with anyone? You didn't mean that, did you?_

Hikaru sighed again. "I don't know. I'm just… tired of this all." He had left the town, following a small path into the forest. Now he sat down on a stone, head bent, hands lying listlessly in his lap.

 _I can understand that_ , Sai said gently. _So, shouldn't you try to do something about it all? That boy, Touya Akira… maybe he really could help you._

Hikaru just snorted at that.

 _Maybe he could!_ Sai insisted. _You know, I was there every time you played with him. I know what you felt then. You shouldn't drive him away._

"I don't know," Hikaru repeated. "Okay, so it was fun playing with him. But somehow, I just… I don't… I guess I want more challenge than he can give me."

Sai said nothing, and for a while they sat in silence. When Hikaru finally broke it, his voice was very soft.

"I've been thinking… that maybe, maybe we really aren't meant to live like this." He raised his hands to his face, watching the strange web between his fingers. "With a physical body. You said we're children of water, and… water is free, isn't it?"

Sai remained quiet, so very still Hikaru could barely sense him. The boy smiled a little. "Sai, maybe it's time," he said, and stood up.

…

Akira's phone rang, and he grimaced. "Sorry, Ogata-san," he said into it. "I… kind of, maybe got a track and didn't realize what time it is. I… no, I'm not sure, but… well, I guess we could. What? …no, no, just, umm, someone I was talking with and she, umm, she knows the town, and, and… yeah, we're coming."

"What is it?" Akari asked when he ended the call.

"Oh, I'm… I'm here with someone," Akira said, trying to make his mind. How much he'd tell Ogata? He wasn't sure why, but for some reason he didn't yet want to mention Shindou to him. "Okay, let's go. And… don't say anything about Shindou yet, okay?"

Akari nodded, though she looked a little confused. They started walking toward the place where Ogata was waiting for them, both deep in their thoughts. It was only by chance Akari happened to glance at a minibus that drove by them, and she froze on the spot.

"Hikaru!" she exclaimed, and Akira too stopped.

"What, where?"

"The bus!" Akari took a few running steps after it, but the bus was already too far away. "Why is he…" She paused. "That bus," she said then, a panicky edge in her voice. "It goes by the river." By that beach where she once had been sure she had lost Hikaru for good.

"Are you sure he was in there?" Akira asked.

"How many boys with yellow bangs you think there are in this town!" she exclaimed, turning to him. "We need to go after him!"

"Why?" Akira was watching her wonderingly. "I mean, of course, I want to meet him again, but why are you so frightened?"

"If… if he's going to the river… he almost, kind of… drowned there once, and… and if he's going there now, I…"

Akira stared at her a moment and dashed then off.

"Ogata!" he was shouting already from far away. "Get the car going!"

The man had been leaning against his car with a cigarette in his hand. Now he straightened and watched in astonishment the two children running toward him.

"Hurry!" Akira yelled, and he dropped the cigarette and went into the car. The car's engine started purring the moment Akira and Akari rushed into it too.

"What is it?" Ogata asked.

"The bus," Akira panted. "We need to catch it!"

Ogata bit back a sigh and forced his voice calm. "What bus?"

"The one that, that…" Akira glanced at Akari on the backseat.

"Go that way," the girl said, pointing, and Ogata started driving.

"Why are we chasing a bus?" he said, some annoyance in his voice, and Akira figured it was best to make sure he'd be serious about catching it.

"Because sai might be on it," he said.

Ogata gave him one look and stepped on the gas. On the backseat Akari quickly attached the seatbelt, only now giving a wondering look at the sports car's shiny inside, and the spotless white suit of the man who drove it.

"Wow," she breathed quietly.

…

Unsurprisingly, all the way to the shore Sai tried to talk Hikaru out of it.

 _You can't leave like this,_ was his last retort. _Imagine how everyone's going to feel when they don't know where you are!_

 _I'll leave my things on the shore_ , Hikaru told him calmly. _They'll figure it out. I mean, who goes to swim in February?_

 _Yes, but…_ Sai attempted as Hikaru stepped out of the bus. _But it's…_

"Let it be," Hikaru said. "You won't turn my head. Besides," he added with a smile, "don't you think we're going to have fun? Now I too can visit all those places you've told me about! And what's the big deal, anyway? You did the same, and you were younger than me!"

 _I had no one left in the world,_ Sai pointed out. _Hikaru, you…_

"What, don't you want to have me as company anymore?"

_It's not that, you know it! I now we're going to have great time. But… there are so many people who will mourn you._

_I know._ Hikaru walked down the path that led to the beach, now abandoned. He paused for a moment, remembering that summer day when the place had been full of people. _It can't be helped._

He walked to the water's edge and crouched down, watching it. Carefully he reached out and dipped his fingers. The water was cold, but that didn't matter; for him it was still as welcoming as ever. The call traveled from his fingers and arm down his spine, and he shivered.

_Hikaru…_

His thoughts wandered, on that summer day and Akari, on his parents and the trip to Tokyo, and paused on that guy. Touya.

"It would have been fun to play with him one more time…" he said, as if thinking to himself, and Sai heaved out a great sigh.

_Yes. And you should. You should play with him again – and not just once._

Hikaru was shaking his head. He lowered his backpack on the ground and started unzipping his coat, with one cautious glance around to confirm that there was no one around.

 _I told you about Torajiro and how he died, didn't I?_ Sai said suddenly and Hikaru paused.

"Yeah," he said. "But don't worry, I'm not going to _die_. I'll just do the same as you did."

 _I'm not sure if Torajiro meant to die, either…_ Sai said quietly. Hikaru frowned.

"Look, if you think you can scare me off, you…"

 _No. That's not what I meant. I think Torajiro tried to get rid of the water, then. And he managed, somehow. But the water,_ Sai's voice was but a whisper, _the water is jealous, It didn't let him go, not just like that. I told him, like I told you…_ no one _controls water._

"What are you talking about?" Hikaru muttered, the frown still on his face.

_Torajiro had a family. A little daughter he loved very dearly. I can't believe he would have chosen to leave them like that. I think he went to the river to give away his heritage, and he did it, but… but the water…_

"…why are you telling me this?"

 _I'm trying to tell you that you've got options. You're right, at the moment you're caught between two worlds, and you can't live like this. But it's not necessarily_ this _world you need to give up._

Hikaru sat on the shore, right at the water's edge, very quiet and still. He heard the water's murmur in his ears, constant and calling, flowing through him as if his body already was without substance.

But he heard other things, too, familiar voices; his mother wishing him good night, Akari whining when he teased her, and… the quiet snap of the stone against wood, that brought to his mind his one and only face-to-face game with Touya.

_I would have wanted to finish that game…_

Breathing hard, he covered his face with his hands. _Sai? If I do that… doesn't that mean that you… you'll be gone from me? That I won't sense you at all anymore?_

 _Most likely._ Sai's voice was very gentle. _But, Hikaru, I will still be there, always. I promise._

Hikaru said nothing, just drew in a shaky breath. A few tears rolled down his face as he looked up. _I can't. I don't want to lose you. Besides, it's too dangerous! You said yourself, Torajiro died! I don't want to die too…_

 _Torajiro was very foolish to attempt it on his own,_ Sai said, strictly. _I wish he had told me. I wonder why he didn't… maybe he thought I'd try to stop him? If I had been there, maybe he would have survived._

Hikaru remained quiet, staring into the water without truly seeing it.

_Hikaru. Give me your hands._

"What?" The boy glanced around, startled. "My hands? How?"

 _Here, in the water_ , Sai said, and Hikaru looked down again, realizing Sai's voice did appear to be coming from there.

Hesitantly he put his hands into the water, shivering again, and not because of the cold. Suddenly he found himself unable to think, unable to make his mind. All the decisions… so hard. Why couldn't he just _be_?

 _Hikaru_ , Sai whispered to him. _What do you want? Think about what you want._

He blinked, and tried to do so, but focusing was hard. What did he want? What had he ever wanted? He couldn't remember.

 _Think, Hikaru_ , Sai whispered. _The sun on your skin, and Akari's laughter, and your mother's cooking… and the life waiting for you, everything you can yet have. Love, and a family of your own. And remember go… a go stone in your hand, how does it feel? Do you remember? Don't you want to feel it again? If you let water take you, you will never play with Touya again._

 _If I let the world take me, I'll never play with_ you _again_ , Hikaru thought, and felt tears rolling down his face again.

And suddenly he was in the water, surrounded by it, caressed, supported, and the tears disappeared, just a few drops among so many. But there was something holding him, someone, a tight grip of his hands, and he couldn't pull himself free.

 _Think, Hikaru! The sun and the grass, the air in your lungs! Your family, and Touya, and Akari too! Stand up, stand up now! You can do it – you did it once before! Just_ pull _yourself away!_ Pull!

And Hikaru pulled, as hard as he could, though he couldn't quite understand what he was doing. He could feel someone pushing – and something pulling to the opposite direction – and he kicked with his feet, attempting to find the ground, and failing.

How was that possible, hadn't he just been on the shore? He kicked again, in vain. _Concentrate, Hikaru, concentrate_ , someone was whispering. _You can do it!_

Strange images flashed through his mind, of watery deeps and quiet pools, places he had never seen, but among them were also other images, these ones familiar, little snippets of everyday life. He let them flow by, not focusing on anything, but then a game flashed in his eyes, moves following each other in a sequence he would remember even in his dreams, and he latched onto that memory, starting to replay the game in his mind. Move after move he went through it, until he finally reached the last one – but the game, the game wasn't finished.

 _I need to play it to the end,_ he thought. His feet kicked again, and hit something hard this time, and then he was surging up, up, toward sunlight and air, and suddenly the grip of his hands loosened and he lay on the ground on his back, panting and shivering, wet to the bone.

Slowly he gathered himself on his knees, watching the river. Something, he realized, was missing, something that was much more than just Sai, but he couldn't quite decipher what it was.

"Hikaru!"

The yell was weak in his ears, and he didn't react, didn't understand it somehow concerned him.

"Shindou!" someone else shouted, and he twitched.

Suddenly there were people around him, two panicking voices and hands that placed a coat on his shoulders.

"Hikaru!" someone was wailing and hugging him. "Thank god you're okay!"

"What did you think you were doing, Shindou!" someone else exclaimed, sheer anger in the voice. "What kind of a stupid stunt this was!"

"We need to get him into the car," a strange voice said. "Hey, kid, can you stand?"

Hikaru took a breath. He looked at the faces around him, his eyes slowly focusing on that of a familiar-looking boy.

"Sai's gone," he whispered. The boy blinked, but placed then a hand on his shoulder.

"It's okay, Shindou," he said more calmly. "You're going to be alright."

"No." He was shaking his head. "You… you don't get it! Sai's gone!" And to the astonishment of the three around him, he burst into tears.

It was only when they were leading the shaking boy into the car that Akari's eyes fell on his hands. "Hikaru!" he breathed, and took a hold of them. "What happened?"

The web between the fingers was gone. There were only ragged shreds hanging from his fingers, and some of them came off when she touched them. Hikaru too looked at his hands, but couldn't answer her question as he himself couldn't at the moment remember just what his hands _should_ have looked like.

…

It took Hikaru weeks to completely recover from what had happened by the river, and much longer before he lost the gloomy look in his eyes. Akira had to return to Tokyo, and after a couple of days Hikaru too traveled there with his mother. They went there to get Hikaru medically examined, but Akira asked them to let Hikaru remain there longer, so that they could meet daily. Hikaru's parents couldn't quite understand who this boy was and how he had entered their son's life, but they saw that his presence seemed to ease Hikaru's mind, and so they agreed.

Hikaru and Akira played go almost daily, but to his great astonishment Akira came to realize that Hikaru's game was nothing like it used to be. No, that wasn't quite true – his style was still familiar, but now he needed many handicap stones to somehow survive against Akira. It truly seemed like 'sai' was gone.

But, Akira thought to himself, perhaps he would someday come back, and he kept on playing teaching games with Hikaru.

After his medical leave Hikaru returned to his childhood home for a short while, to finish the school year, after which he and his mother moved to Tokyo and he was enrolled in the Haze Middle School. Next autumn he joined the insei, and a year later passed the pro exam. His go skills didn't return to that incredible level they had once had, but he did reach Akira, playing on par with his friend and rival for years to come.

As time passed, strange rumors started circulating about Shindou Kisei. For one thing, they said he never lost on a day when it rained. Akira smiled at that; he knew it wasn't true. (Then again, he had to admit that Hikaru had played his best games on rainy days. That, of course, had to be a coincidence.) He thought that the rumor possibly had something to do with the infuriating habit Hikaru had never to use an umbrella, no matter how hard it rained – once he had appeared at a title match completely drenched. Time and time again he attempted to give Hikaru umbrellas, but it was futile.

"I won't let you to separate me from Sai that completely," Hikaru would tell him in that maddeningly mysterious way of his, refuse the umbrella, and keep on walking in the rain with the water flowing freely down his face, a strange smile on his lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...when I started writing the Hikaru part of this fic I was wondering where to place it. I knew it would have to be outside Tokyo, preferably a very small place, but still not too far away. My image about Japan is very densely populated, and I wondered how small towns there would be near Tokyo. I did some research on wikipedia and on Google maps, and this led me to a small town called Kanna, which has been my model for this "Kanba" town. (Kanba is a combination of Kanna and Manba, which is the name of an elementary school there.) Even so, any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. :p
> 
> Anyways, [here](http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v330/Tuulikki/anime/HNG/hika.png) you see the result of too much procrastination. Ogata and his car in 'Kanba'. xD
> 
> Alright, now I'm done here. Thank you for reading, and see you, maybe, at the next fic!


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